Did this happen on its own?

[Crowdblundering]

AARHH!!! Soooo pissed off.

Just noticed bloody curtain in our back lounge is totally bent and pulled out of its bracket and the plaster on the wall is all cracked and pulled off.

OH is like "oh I can't imagine how that's happened" and I'm like I am not accusing your kids BUT poles do not just bend and get ripped out of the fucking wall on their own - do they? Or am I a bitch step mother in suspecting them - it is where they sleep.

They are 12 and 10 and really fucking tall - I just wish he would back me up in zero tolerance to the destruction of our home

I think the fact their dad does about a 1200 mile round trip twice a month to see them tells them we love them.

Codswallop. Kids don't think like that. They don't feel grateful for distance travelled to see them and nor should they!

I agree with Racoon and I would have stopped contact a long time ago if my kids didn't even have a permanent space in their father's house.

I suspect that even if the OP had an extra 10 bedrooms this type of problem would still exist ........

And yes - only on MN would someone be berated for insufficient bedrooms!!

OP - YANBU !!

It isn't about being right LBO. I don't believe for 1 second these sleeping arrangements have no negative affect on these children. I refuse to blindly agree with everyone else just because they say I should. So I disagree with posters that is allowed ya know.

Don't be ridiculous Petal there would be no issues with space if the OP had 0 bedrooms. Why post such a daft comment

It's an interesting indicator that everyone else on this thread is wrong and you are the lone, correct voice though, isn't it Raccoon

Well that's not true. Loads of posters have questioned the bedroom situation.

0 not 0

Ffs 10 not o bedrooms!

OP - I think one of the issues here is where you referred to your house originally being yours but has now become the family home. You are frustrated as you see your space being damaged by children who are not yours. Your OH is probably not as invested (emotionally or financially) in the house as much as you are.

Where you take things from here, I don't know. I think longer term your stepchildren may become resistant to the kind of sleeping arrangements you describe as they get older. But maybe that's what your aiming for?

Whilst camping down is probably fun once in a while, it does seem to have been quite a long time now that this arrangement has gone on for. And I do agree with Racoon's comment about the bedding. Buying bedding for them should be a given really. Not mentioned as an example of how well you treat them .

Racoon every time you post in a thread you seem to end up in a heated argument with almost everyone else on the thread. I just think maybe you need to have think about why this is.

I have RTFT

But mine was pulled out the wall just like yours by my 2 they are 5 and 3 and they were pulling at the curtains and it bent the pole and ripped right out the wall.

I don't stand this behaviour from my own children so I wouldn't from step children either especially at your step children's ages.

I suggest you have a chat with your husband to back you up with this and have a chat with the kids about expecting their home.

It's disrespectful to be destructing property like that.

Everytime Violet really? I am on a number of threads not arguing with anyone.

Maybe you need to step away if you are no involved you have gone through all the threads I am on and read my comments......very strange behaviour

Racoon - I recommend yoga and/or meditation. Otherwise you'll probably have a seizure.

Again with the digs. So having seizures is used as an insult now

So again because I disagree with you I am mental/batshit and need yoga in my life.

How do you know it wasn't one of your DC OP?

Nasty to be making insinuations that someone has "issues" just because they won't agree with you. Just an attempt to shut someone down and change the focus of the discussion really, makes that person defensive and stops them arguing. Most unpleasant.

My OH is not a shit dad, he's a great dad in quite difficult circumstances.

If the kids lived with us of course they would have their own bedroom but they do not and everyone is happy with the sleeping arrangements.

I do object to the suggestion that my underlying desire is to not have them. This was done to my own children by their stepmother hence they never see their own father anymore.

I have them when he is away and I often do a 5 hour round trip to collect them. I have put a lot of effort into my relationship with them and they calm me their "other" mother (as does their mother) so the projection on here is wildly off.

Because my DC are all over the age of 15

I haven't read all your threads Racoon, but I've been on one or two where you've acted like this. You've derailed the thread by turning it into an attack on the OP and her partner and their living arrangements, and accused them of not caring about these children, which clearly isn't the case.

Because my DC are all over the age of 15 hmm

So someone over 15 doesn't break things by accident?

Not a curtain rail no.

And m kids are the type of kids who are now mature enough to mention it even if they did.

Oh well you seem pretty certain it wasn't your kids. Just as certain as he is that it wasn't his...

Violet i think its you who have derailed the thread by claiming i have mental health isdues bevause i dont agree with you.

Thank you MsG i agree they are calling me names in an attempt to shut me down.

Good god does anyone here have a 15,18 and 19 yrbikd whobqoukd actually swing on a curtain rail, bust it and leave it there - the two oldest ones have jobs.