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Original poster

Did this happen on its own?

398 replies

Crowdblundering · 18/01/2017 18:47

AARHH!!! Soooo pissed off.

Just noticed bloody curtain in our back lounge is totally bent and pulled out of its bracket and the plaster on the wall is all cracked and pulled off.

OH is like "oh I can't imagine how that's happened" and I'm like I am not accusing your kids BUT poles do not just bend and get ripped out of the fucking wall on their own - do they? Or am I a bitch step mother in suspecting them - it is where they sleep.

They are 12 and 10 and really fucking tall - I just wish he would back me up in zero tolerance to the destruction of our home AngrySad

OP posts:
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AyeAmarok · 19/01/2017 12:49

They really should have a bedroom, their own space, even if they share it together. Not camping out in your family room.

FrankAndBeans · 19/01/2017 12:54

You can't leave them to sleep in this room and then go mental when accidents happen. They obviously can't sleep together, they should have a space of their own that if they wreck it they wreck it.

throwingpebbles · 19/01/2017 12:58

They really need to have their own room. My two DC share a room so DSC can have a bedroom with their own stuff in it and make it their own. It is their home as much as it is DC home. The fact they are with less often is not relevant, it is still somewhere they should feel welcome and wanted.

neonrainbow · 19/01/2017 13:00

Is the op meant to buy a house with 2 more bedrooms so they can be used for a couple of days a month? Get in the fucking real world. The issue is her bratty stepkids breaking stuff.

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:04

Maybe dad should have though about house size and prioritised his young children before moving in with the OP and her 3 DC.

I think 1 more bedroom would be enough seen as tbese poor girls dont even have one.
Would you like that neon knowing your dc were going to their dads and he couldnt even provide 1 room for them that was their own private space?

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 19/01/2017 13:04

Ok - I'll build an extension shall I? Hmm

I do love them very much. I have taken them on holiday without DP and one regularly wets the bed and NEVER gets told off.

Not sure why I am getting attacked here.

OH is based elsewhere in the week, my house over the years has gradually become our family home and a good space for him to be able to see his kids.

I mentioned the phones because I said they don't have any money of their own and they have their phones instead of us giving them pocket money (in case I was questioned as to why we don't give them any pocket money).

I wasn't slating people who rent - their mum tends to rent a place, trash it and moves on.

Anyway my first and last post in step parenting me thinks.

OP posts:
RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:05

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FrankAndBeans · 19/01/2017 13:06

If it's for four days a month why don't you let them sleep in your room and you and OH can sleep downstairs. It would give them a bedroom, even if they have to share it with you guys.

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:07

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Original poster
Crowdblundering · 19/01/2017 13:08

Two of my children pay housekeeping for their rooms and regularly have partners to stay - so donI ask them to all bunk up together?

Not sure what world people live in here - we have two lounges and this was a good solution that worked for us - I cannot pull an extra bedroom out of my arse.

I NEVER called them brats ...

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowdblundering · 19/01/2017 13:10

So if we give them our room is it then ok to be pissed off if they swing off the curtain rail in there and break it?

OP posts:
FrankAndBeans · 19/01/2017 13:13

No, that's a parenting issue. They're not being supervised/disciplined enough which is your OH's responsibility to make sure is happening.

civilfawlty · 19/01/2017 13:13

OP, just ignore. MN is full of people who are so perfect that they are well placed to spend all day judging other people Hmm. Your points about equal standards being ascribed to all, and taking responsibility for actions and showing respect are completely valid.

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:15

My post crossed with yours. The bratty comment was directed at neon.

I live in a world where my 2 stepsons were taken in to account when DH and I moved in together. We made sure they had 1 room at least that was theirs. We did not make them feel like guests who were put on camp beds in the back room.

Dad clearly does not give a shit and he only cared about moving in eith you.

As for your adult kids stick one of them in the back room or would you not think that was good enough for your kids.

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:16

Civil i am far from perfect but I make sure my dc including dsc had a fucking bedroom to sleep in.

AyeAmarok · 19/01/2017 13:18

You have two lounges but your husband's DC have no bedroom?

Strange priorities.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 19/01/2017 13:18

Racoon have a fucking medal 🥇

I didn't "move in" with my DP - we had to make the best of what we had and yes for 6 years they took it in turns to have the kids rooms but then chose THEMSELVES to sleep in the back room.

OP posts:
MarthasHarbour · 19/01/2017 13:21

I cannot believe the OP is being flamed for not having a big enough house!!

Only on MN Hmm Grin

OP YADNBU, And your floorplan and square footage is nobodys business Wink

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:23

So i need a medal because we made sure our kids had bedrooms Hmm

Well where else was there for them. Sleeping in an older kids room with all their things evetywhere and none of their own.

Its not the childrens responsibility to provide a bedroom for them to sleep in. That would be their PARENTS responsibilty which dad clearly failed at.

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 19/01/2017 13:25

Not really as they both have their own room in the house they live in - which he pays for.

OP posts:
RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:25

Marth the OP well dad actually is being glamed for bot providing a suitable home for his children. OP has provided bdrooms for her 3 adult children but the actual dependants who have no choice get shoved on the back lounge.

Still cant believe mum is ok with it. I would have stopped contact long before if dad cannot provide the basics.

MarthasHarbour · 19/01/2017 13:26

Love how everyone thinks OP should just move to a different house with no clue about her financial situation.. Most people can't afford to just move to a different house.

My own father didn't give a shit when he fucked off when I was 5. I would have given anything for a sofa bed in a back room. Some of you have odd ideas about uncaring parents Hmm

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:26

which he pays for.

Sour grapes?

RacoonBandit · 19/01/2017 13:29

Sorry your dad was shit but you cant measure a poor sleeping arrangement on the fact you had none at all.

Nobody is saying OP should move. Read my posts I said DAD should have provided them with better sleeping arrangements. Its him that is failing to do that not the OP.

donajimena · 19/01/2017 13:29

Not sure why you are being flamed OP. I'm sure half the posters on this board sit and wait for someone to have a pop at. Disgusting.