Did this happen on its own?

[Crowdblundering]

AARHH!!! Soooo pissed off.

Just noticed bloody curtain in our back lounge is totally bent and pulled out of its bracket and the plaster on the wall is all cracked and pulled off.

OH is like "oh I can't imagine how that's happened" and I'm like I am not accusing your kids BUT poles do not just bend and get ripped out of the fucking wall on their own - do they? Or am I a bitch step mother in suspecting them - it is where they sleep.

They are 12 and 10 and really fucking tall - I just wish he would back me up in zero tolerance to the destruction of our home

So you have said OP.

It does not change my opinion but why that bothers you so much I don't know. The internet is full of different opinions, you have yours and I have mine.

I had this happen with my curtain pole last week. I was watching TV in my living room and the pole just crashed down. It's been there for years not sure why it suddenly happened. Scared the life out of me! One of the brackets came out the wall too. I had to get some wall filler. I think maybe I've had the heating on high all winter and it may have dried out the wall too much. Can't think of any reason for it to suddenly happen.

Oh Raccoon so your own children who live with you full time I assume have to share a room while your DSC have a room to themselves even though they don't visit that much? Wow your DC must feel so loved, let's totally incinvenience them just so your DSC have a room they hardly use. Nominate yourself for mum of the year before I do!!

My DSC dont stay over anymore they have their own homes local to us. When they did stay the had a bedroom. Nobody was pushed out or felt unloved as they all had the same. Not really understanding your sarcasam MN

The sarcasm is that you expect OP to give the DSD their own bedroom clearly upstairs or it doesn't count, yet you yourself didn't/didn't live by those standards. "Let she who is without sin cast the first stone"..... OP just ignore her, total hypocrite

How didnt I?
My dss had a bedroom. It was theirs and stayed theirs while they needed it. Really not sure what your point is MN

My point is you're a hypocrite

How am I?

My dss had a bedroom. My children had bedrooms.
None of the DC were expected to sleep in the lounge on put up beds. So how does that make me a hypocrite?

Or dont you actually know now as you have confused yourself in your bid to attack me and be sarcastic?

Raccoon maybe you've confused yourself, your earlier comments stated that your DC and DSC shared a bedroom but you demand that OPs DSC have their own own room and not providing that is somehow cruel and justifies them breaking items in OPs home. Maybe you should practice what you preach.

Nope my comments stated my dc share a room and dsc share a room.
The OPs children have a lounge which is not a proper bedroom and on put up beds.
So how are those even the same.

Also i never once said they were justified in breaking things. Care to post where i said that?

You really have muddled yourself up MN

MN i never said their own bedroom i said A bedroom. As in a room that is a bedroom and not a lounge/family room.

Fyi my dsc visit weekly they just dont sleep over as they have their own homes. I am a very loving mother and step mother however you sound very unpleasent.

I could report your comment as a personnel attack but i think leaving it to stand is better as it shows you as a pretty nasty poster.

Pot calling kettle there! Hopefully you've learnt your lesson there raccoon. Isn't it horrible when people make assumptions about you when they don't know your full circumstances? Maybe you'll think next time before you attack someone else.

There is no lesson to learn MN
I did not attack the OP and there were a number of other posters who held the same opinion as me.
However i have been consistently attacked on this thread by others and now you.

You really have shown yourself up.

This thread has gone really really cookoo . But Racoonbandit you did attack me and you attacked my partner calling him a shit dad.

My OP was nothing to do with sleeping arrangements.

Would hate to think of someone reading and and feeling inferior as a step parent or not having their step kids because there is a highly odd expectation from some people on this thread that NR kids would always have their own bedroom in the NR parents house!

Calling him a shit dad was utterly ridiculous.

Any father that is unable to sort out proper sleeping arrangemenrs for his children in 6 years is not exactly brilliant is he. Can you honestly say his children are his priority?
Would you allow your children to camp out every visit for 6 years? I wouldnt.

I dont think expecting children to have a proper bedroom in 6 years is an odd expectation. You think it is and thats fine as niether adult is making any plans to change it.

I can't believe the treatment the OP is getting on here! Ridiculous.

Raccoon, If I were your dsc's mother, I'd have much more of an issue with my children having to share rooms with yours (particularly if they are as destructive as you've said on here!) than them being given a room to share downstairs, regardless of how it was used when they weren't around.

Do people seriously expect NRPs to buy larger houses with bedrooms that will lie empty for much of the time, just to accommodate blended families? Surely it's much more important that they feel welcome in the house by the reception they get from the people in it? Sounds like the OP has gone above and beyond for these kids - for precious little thanks/gratitude.

Although it sounds to me as though Racoon is just putting the boot in for the hell of it.

That my children shared and my DSC shared I did not mix siblings as my DSC are much older and they already shared together at mums house.

When DH and I moved in together we bought a house big enough to accommodate all the children. For us they all deserved a proper room to sleep in regardless of the time spent here.
I would have had serious questions if DH has said his boys didn't need bedrooms because they were not here enough. I appreciate this view to some warrants calling me mental/batshit/crazy/bad mum/deserve to be lonely however it is my opinion and it is shared by a few others.

Thing is Racoon is my kids don't see their dad because the guy is an absolute idiot and put his new wife and holidays above them.

My other son has slept on a sofa bed at his (different) dads house for the last 14 years and he absolutely loves to stay there and see his little brother.

We only got a joint mortgage on my house a few years ago and there is no way we can afford to buy s bigger house as my ex pays me next to nothing and we pay OH ex £500 a month on top of traveling between the base (yes that is what it's called) his ex's house and here.

Yeah - one day one of my kids might move out and we will have a "spare" room which would be for anyone who wants to come and stay.

MN my post was deleted because I called him a shit dad. MNHQ decided I was out of line so I deserved the deletion.

You have come in to this thread only to attack me and I have answered you, that's all.
You really aren't interested in the OP you have just used this thread to post vile things towards me. You addressed me in your first post when you need not have bothered.
I think the troll is you actually but hey if this is how you get your kicks carry on. Oh I thought you had children to get back to who wanted your attention

Well, no, actually you didn't buy a house big enough to accommodate all the children, because they were still sharing. I don't see anything wrong with that, actually, but it doesn't qualify you to be step-parent of the year either, a position from which you seem to be judging the OP.

If the OP and her dp had bought a house together, then maybe they'd have taken a similar view - that they should ensure a bedroom configuration that was a better fit, but as I recall (and I first read this thread a few days ago and some of the details are a little hazy), it is her existing family home and her DP doesn't even live there with her all the time. That puts a very different slant on things.

And no - I would not dream of giving them our room A) because we have a very expensive bed due to my back problem - which also means I cannot sleep on a sofa bed/whatever B) DSD1 is a bed wetter and C) the weekend is the only time OH and I see each other and we need privacy as a couple!

My first paragraph there was to racoon.