Here we go!!!

[Nursed123]

It's that time again..... Step kid weekend!

I'm just sitting, with wine in hand, waiting for them to descend.

I really wish I could say I look forward to these weekends but I dread them for various reasons

Here's and for anyone else who can relate

Sleepy

Again i find myself reading another of your posts where you have twisted what i have posted. If that makes things ok for you than carry on.

I have used the word vile once as far as i can see and that was not directed at a poster but was
I would not want to be viewed as somebody that can treat/talk about children in my immediate family in such a vile way as wearing some sort of badge of honour hmm
So i am not continuing to call anyone vile.

I am sorry you dislime the language i am using such as resentment or negative but I am afraid that is the tone of this thread.

As for the pretty comment again in context i said some posters have not painted a pretty picture of themselves. Very different to what you are implying.

BubbleGumBubble

thread is for like minded people therefore, not for you.

So if there was a thread full of racists you would say that those who are not racist need to refrain from posting?
I am afraid mn does not work that way.

The SP board is to support step parents but that does not mean that its ok to be vile about children the 2 do not go hand in hand.

If everyone feels so angry, so put upon and so badly treated why the hell are they continuing in these relationships?

That is your full post from 13:30 - I haven't twisted it you've implied are vile. You clearly cannot remember what you have posted.

But if you think that's you defending yourself rather than attacking all the other posters... Then you carry on.

And you can't seem to explain why you think we're blaming the children? (Probably because we are not)

I have agreed to using the word vile once but you accused me of continuing to call people vile which i have not done. Can you not read your own posts?

sleepy you are not going to change my mind and i am not going to change yours.
I am ok with that but i will not be forced off this threaad by your rude behaviour or because you demand it no matter how much you try and twist my posts.

You dont want to engage with me then stop addressing me i have no desire to continue this with you but i will post on this thread if i choose to.

I'm a SM and I have posted on here about my frustrations about my SCs BM and getting used to having 2 young children sharing my home. I love my SC dearly and do so much with them. They regularly tell me they love me too. Just because I get frustrated, it doesn't mean I'm a horrible person or I'm slating the SC. Surely its much better to vent my frustrations here than to bottle them up?
My sister vents to me about my niece when she is being a little horror but that doesn't mean she loves her child any less. Or is that OK because she is her BM?

bubblegum- please see the attached pictures of BOTH your posts.

You know, the one I just quoted that you somehow think I wrote myself or made up or twisted? Yea, that one.

I'm not trying to force you off his post anymore but you cannot seem to explain why you think we are blaming the children? You cannot seem to articulate why you think this?

We have explained until we are blue in the face that is is the parents we blame for the situations we find ourselves in, we do not blame the children as it is pretty damn obvious this isn't their fault and they didn't ask for this.

It is incredibly obvious to me that you only came on this thread to judge, and start an argument. Well you've done that, you've turned a peaceful, helpful, honest and candid thread into a massive bunfight. What was the point?

Oh come on now ladies!! This was originally a discussion about how hard some of us find the SM role, and how some of us don't think it's the crime of the century to want down time from their DSC!.... not a slanging match!!
It is usually The case that where a split relationship occurs, the father will leave the family home, and eventually set up home with someone else...whether or not there are other existing/new DC in the mix! The fathers in theses cases so often suffer from guilt because they are not living with their DC full time, and overcompensate, (i.e. Disney Dad)! We know how hard this makes the job of being a SM....I certainly do anyway, so perhaps a little slack can be cut to those of us, who do struggle to maintain a normal family dynamic....whatever that is!!!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the reports on this thread.

Could we ask you to all to take a step back and stop posting personal attacks or posts that are not in the spirit of Mumsnet?
Mumsnet exists to make parent's lives easier and if there's one thing we could all do with, it's some understanding and moral support.

Thanks.

Sleepy neither post is calling posters vile.

I stated I would not like to be viewed as somebody who talked about my children is a vile way and the second was that the SP boards are somewhere for support and that its not ok to be vile about children. I don't see how that is me continuously calling posters vile, which is what you have accused me of.

Well seen as we are been reported for been vile. I will either look for support elsewhere or keep buying myself treats for keeping my mouth shut (I have a fabulous cosmetic collection now) when I don't agree with his parenting methods or when I get blasted for doing the wrong thing (daring to beathe).

However I have seen at least two posts from people who don't want their own children ATM, so how is saying we struggle with children that aren't ours that are already set in their ways worse than that?

Was nice talking to a few of you however thanks to a small minority I am out of here

Ok so why did you feel the need to say this isn't a place to be vile.. If you didn't think anyone was being vile?

I'm not responding to you anymore you've ruined a good thing.

This was the only thread that I've found that I could be open and honest on about how difficult my step-parenting situation is. It was lovely to chat to others in similar situations and it was lovely to discover that, like me, everyone seems to to be striving for the greater good for the DSC. Nobody has in any way blamed or made personal attacks on any children...if only certain people realised that, then this wouldn't have ended up in a bun fight!

I have just caught up on all that has been said today ....
I am SO upset and disappointed that after us making it as far as we did, it came to this . Like many of you , I cannot talk much in RL about my situation and the exW / how she neglects her children etc . This thread has been a MASSIVE release and support for me in recent weeks .
Is there any way we can ignore the person who is trying to trash this and continue? Or somehow create some sort of support group . I have loved speaking with you all and being anonymous (therefore not feeling judged ) made it so much easier to release . Heads up ladies

I vote we just continue! We aren't doing any harm to anyone I think we knew someone would come along and hurl a bit of shit at us at some point!

How's everyone's weeks been so far?

After my initial ..ahem... Anger.. I'm voting we continue and ignore any 'not in the spirit of mumsnet' posts

Not too bad so far. Ss is here dp has gone to play football (not usual for a Tuesday) so just waiting for him to eventually get back so I can put some tea on.

Starving.

He reckons we won't get a holiday until at least next year anyway so I suppose we just leave any further discussion until then.

Feeling a bit miserable about having to wait so long. I need a bloody break. From everything!!

I was naughty today. Skank ExW got off her fat ass dropped DSD off. When door went I was sitting in living room near the window and shouted to DH 'Bit early for trick or treaters! Nice costume tho'She heardI'm not funny apparently. #gutted

Gosh this all very, erm, classy

I have no real input to make but I'd continue!

I've just caught up too and this is making me sad.
Where else can sm talk openly and honestly about their feelings, regardless of the feel no one should stop/judge/ make comment.
The only other place to express and be open would be therapy and not every one can afford that!
If we can't vent we store, we store we stew, we stew we resent and the whole thing gets bigger, marraige end and all children involved get hurt.
If people don't like a comment then tough really, move on, it's venting and getting feeling out... this is good for the whole family unit!

Why are so many of these 'feelings' you feel the need to be 'open' about sounding like tacky character assassinations of other parents?

Sorry did someone try and insult us again?

No? Good for us!

I've had a very pregnant week, everything seems to have become very difficult very suddenly... and sleeping is a thing of the past! Youngest DSD asked if she could be 'the person who looks after me when I have the baby'! So cute! She want to rub my belly and give me head massages so the birth doesn't hurt me

Oh my god lord Hare, you sound about 2.

If you want to discuss the challenges, dynamics, emotions of being a SM (and I know it's hard) why don't you do that?

What's with all the playground stuff? You're just egging each other on to be more and more nasty and the result isn't very edifying.

Sorry did someone try and insult us again?

And, no, I didn't try to insult you. I was asking a genuine question;

If it's a thread to be 'open about feelings' on, then why does so much of it consist of calling other women "skanks" and so on?

That isn't discussing your own feelings, that's insulting people.

Can you see the difference?