Here we go!!!

[Nursed123]

It's that time again..... Step kid weekend!

I'm just sitting, with wine in hand, waiting for them to descend.

I really wish I could say I look forward to these weekends but I dread them for various reasons

Here's and for anyone else who can relate

It's not the children's fault they have two families. I agree.

Whilst they shouldn't be penalised for having two families, I do question if they should be rewarded by having two of everything when they see their half siblings only getting one.

I think it's this attitude of e during double everything that can actually cause issues between all the children.

Excuse me MNHQ why the fuck have my posts been deleted?

It's ok to insult step mums tho yeah fuck this

Why is it ok for someone to come on our support thread and start judging us but I try and defend myself and all my posts get deleted????

I've had enough of this shit. Mumsnet isn't for support if your a step mum is it? It's just a place you can be slagged off a little bit more.

Thanks MNHQ youre great.

sleepy i was not insulting step mums, I am one. I was just giving a different point of view on this thread and how it reads.

I have no interest in shutting down discussion or support. Far from it i wish i had access to such a forum in the early years of step parenting as it was bloody hard. That said i do think there should be a line or boundary drawn when venting about crazy exes or disney dads becomes resentment at the sheer presence of a stepchild. That to me can be damaging for the children involved.

Well you have shut it down. Nobody will want to share now there's you on the thread ripping the shit out of people and getting people's posts deleted. I certainly don't want to share anymore.

We're talking with other women in the same position. We're not saying this to the kids or in front of them. We're not damaging anyone.

You've ruined what you said you wanted. Well done. Round of applause for bubblegum

what sleepy said.

Thanks Bubblegum. A job well done.

Sleepy your posts were deleted due to personnel attack. The vittriol you unleashed was a massive over reaction.

Support comes in many forms and is always available on mn. Yes I longed for somewhere like this where I could have talked about the stresses and difficulties being a sp brings but if it had exsisted and contained the same tone as this thread I would have expressed my distaste at the time.

As i said i have no intention of shutting down sipport or discussion I just feel it can be provided without the need to be so negative about DSC.

Well, again, you have shut it down so well done.

Dp probably won't see it that way tho and will think I'm leaving ss out, which I am I guess but at the end of he day he has a mother as well, she could easily take him abroad but chooses not to, so why should I

Why would it be his mum's responsibility to take him abroad? Why does his father not have that same responsibility?

I was naughty today. Skank ExW got off her fat ass dropped DSD off. When door went I was sitting in living room near the window and shouted to DH 'Bit early for trick or treaters! Nice costume tho'She heardI'm not funny apparently. #gutted

Wow. And if the ex heard, so did her daughter.

Well, again, you have shut it down so well done

I have not shut it down. People can still post but maybe they will not put so much negativity on the childrens shoulders and see that the adults should carry most if it such as crazy exes and disney dads.

As the OP, this thread was started for exactly the purpose everybody above has stated - a place to speak to like minded people who won't judge us when they have never met us and have no idea who we are as "real life" people.
It appears you are not a like minded person so am struggling to see the point in posting on here......

Other Sm please don't be discouraged from posting. It's normal to want to vent about anything and everything and even if a thought sounds "nasty" or "bitter" better to do it here than RL. Not to mention that for some of us we feel forgotten and pushed into a corner for speaking out to others IRL let's not have that happen on here. I am happy to talk and happy to listen still :)

Many people have acknowledged the fault tends to be with the parents and not the children btw. Sometimes not wanting the children extra is because of the issues with exes and the dads. Sometimes me and SS will do something normal, he'll tell his mum and if she doesn't like it she lashes out. It's the constant feeling of being on eggshells that puts some of us off having the SS. Every poster I've seen has identified the issue being with how the parents react to situations and that the SC are just being normal children but after fighting for the actual parents to take responsibility that they should do as parents the step parents just give up because it is taking its toll.

Also if my own DD is being naughty I'd want to vent about her just as much as my DSS.

So because i dont agree that children should be discussed so negativley about things the have not caused nor cannot help i am not like minded......well good.

I would not want to be viewed as somebody that can treat/talk about children in my immediate family in such a vile way as wearing some sort of badge of honour

I am afraid OP that the picture some posters have painted of themselves is far from pretty and that is all their own doing.

You're missing my point.... I wasn't asking for another argument just stating the fact that this thread is for like minded people therefore, not for you.

Right. So people shouldn't challenge things they find distasteful, abusive, aggressive, unpleasant, unfair, unreasonable or just down right rude?

thread is for like minded people therefore, not for you.

So if there was a thread full of racists you would say that those who are not racist need to refrain from posting?
I am afraid mn does not work that way.

The SP board is to support step parents but that does not mean that its ok to be vile about children the 2 do not go hand in hand.

If everyone feels so angry, so put upon and so badly treated why the hell are they continuing in these relationships?

Why does his father not have that same responsibility?

I'm not his dad if you hadn't already gathered

Bubblegum why can't you just drop it you're boring me now. We get it. You think we're awful. We don't think we're awful. So you continuing to tell us how awful we are isn't going to change anything is it?

Oh and again nobody has been vile about any children

Oh and it's absolutely not ok to compare us to a thread full of racists but I'm sure MNHQ thinks its ok.

Oh and it's absolutely not ok to compare us to a thread full of racists but I'm sure MNHQ thinks its ok. hmm

Well I did not compare anyone to a thread full of racists which is clear to see but given your feelings towards me I am sure you will gloss over that fact.

So you continuing to tell us how awful we are isn't going to change anything is it?

But thats not what i have done. I have only tried to defend myself against the "get off our thread" shouts, the insults and the personnel attacks.

You have used it as a comparison. It's not comparable at all.

You haven't defended yourself you've continued to call us vile etc

You've said we are vile about the children on your last two posts. Said we are negative about yr children in your two posts before that. Implied we are far from pretty. You have implied I could one day d a crazy ex.

Explain how that's defending yourself please ? That's attacking which is exactly why you say my posts were deleted.

sleepy i did not compare i asked the question thst if only like minded people are allowed on a thread would that be still ok if that thread was full of racists.

I think if you read my posts you will see there is no continuation to call anyone vile.

I have expressed understanding and agree sm need to be able to vent but that the venting should not fall in to the trap of blaming children or jollying along with resentment towards children.

Can you actually not read?

NOBODY HAS BLAMED ANY CHILDREN FOR ANYTHING. NOBODY RESENTS THEIR STEP CHILDREN.

Yes I'm sure we all occasionally resent the situation we find ourselves in, but that doesn't mean we resent the child. We all know none of this is any child's fault.

why can you not get that through your head? Why must you keep saying oh you shouldn't be vile about the children when actually nobody is?

Your post at 13:30

The SP board is to support step parents but that does not mean that its ok to be vile about children the 2 do not go hand in hand.

That implies we have been vile