I forgot about this thread, but it's a bit of a relief to remember I am not the only one who struggles with being a 'step parent' (inverted commas as we're not married).
Dss is 15 and boy do we know it! Permanent grump. Does my head in. Speaks to me like dirt - the other day he came in, lounged on the sofa next to all over me and then said "oh my god, did you eat all my sweets" - I was reading, no idea about any bloody sweets. So I said I don't know anything about your sweets, I haven't had any sweets. And he starts ranting about how he left a huge bag of sweets on the side and now it's empty and I must have eaten them.
It's so hard not to tell him to fuck off it really is. I didn't eat his fecking sweets and anyway, dp bought them for him to take to camp, he took them and brought some back - not quite sure how that means no-one else can eat them (not that I did, dp did) as it certainly doesn't seem to apply in reverse with things I buy for me!
I also continually have the 'who is eating tonight' battle. One night in the week dp took dss to parents evening, I said I'd cook them some chicken legs for when they got in, which I did (even though I wasn't eating that night and i try not to cook for dss because ti winds me up, he eats almost nothing), they get back 20 mins later than expected so it's over ready. Dss exclaims 'I'm not going to have time to eat that, I'm going to the cinema' - and, of course, dp is driving him there so he can't eat it either.
This was after dss had announced the day before that he had arranged to go to the cinema with friends and had been told no, he couldn't because of parents evening. dp said he'd agreed with him in the car on the way back that he could if he agreed to a strategy for doing more homework. None of these bloody 'strategies' ever work, they just cause arguments which I have to listen to.
Last night I was out, dss at scouts, dp for some reason didn't feed him before scouts as we usually do (when I am there to keep reminding them what time it is) so when I got back dss was back from scouts, lounging on the sofa while dp ran around getting his tea - it was 9.15pm and dp had just the day before agreed with dss a new bedtime of 9pm, with 30 mins reading (it was previously going up to 10.30pm), so dp calls dss to come to eat and dss says "nah, don't want it". Refuses to even go to the table.
So, I put on my wicked step mother hat and say in that case go to bed, it's past the time you agreed. Luckily dp agrees with this.
However, came down this morning to dss plate of cold food still sitting on the table. Grimy gits both of them.
Then, we're off out tonight. Dss has more scouts thing, so I said what is he going to eat. Well, he can jsut do himself a pizza can't he. um except we don't have any pizzas, I bought one with the shopping and he ate it Tuesday.
I don't know why I ask about the food, whatever the answer is it just annoys me. My diet has been so compromised by living with these two.
dss lives with us all the time now as his mother has some drama going on, she sees him about once a fortnight for about an hour (and dp still pays her £500pm maints...). Next week dp has to work away for two nights, in France. I am not working so said I would probably go with him - but I can't book the tickets quite yet. He says he'll get dss dm to have him if I'm going - I said, er, no, she can have him whether I am going or not, thank you!