It's better, we tried to get custody 10 years ago but the system dismissed our plaintive remarks that their mother was an unsuitable parent. We then got on with our lives having tried hard to do the best for them, knowing one day it would come back to bite us where it hurts.
It did, hence my resentment. I may have taken 3 kids on then, but not 8 years down the line when they were in their mid to late teens. The first born is 23 and independent, hence why not 3 now.
The system worked against us because it can. Their mother disowned them - told the police and SSW - not because they were delinquents, but because she didn't want the responsibility anymore. So she waits until we have been married 2 years, and relinquishes them to us. They may sound like pawns on a chess board, but that is not my doing. I didn't want kids, never found the right opportunity in life, and by the time we got married, was too old to want them anyway. That is my own kids, btw. I was never hostile to SCs in anyway shape or form. Infact I liked the idea of being a SM, just not FT at the age they moved in.
Sure I will get torn to pieces for this comment, but that is the truth and why I resent my status quo being turned upside down after such a long period whereby we had absolutely no control over what ex wife would do next. I guess I do blame the legal system for a lot of this. Everything dragged on for far too long, probably because the kids were not being physically abused.