thank god its sunday

[BabyHMummy]

I know its an awful thing to say but having had dsc's for over a week I am really ready for them to go home.

They have really pushed boundaries this week and for the first time ever dp has actually disciplined them so we have had the backlash to deal with too. Although he still let's them get away with talking to me like crap...he is starting to back me up when I tell them off for it though.

Am soooo glad i have 2 weeks before they are here again.

Not aided by being 29 weeks pg and having an awful tummy bug for last 3 days

[allnewtaketwo]

It's not the wrong place FFS. Who made you god of mumsnet.
OP you are extremely welcome to have a vent on here in my book. Fwiw I heave a bloody massive sigh of relief and a silent cheer when DSSs leave on a Sunday eve. So shoot me

[Spero]

Venting is good. But there is clearly much much more going on here and you are doing the op no favours by brushing it under carpet.

[NotaDisneyMum]

But if all you want is virtual hand holding then you know this is the wrong place.

WTF!

MN is different things to different people - and there are clear guidelines in place which certain posters on this thread have disregarded, IMO.

Asking questions is one thing - expressing disgust at the OP is totally different and well over the line.

[allnewtaketwo]

I'm not brushing anything anywhere, I've joined the thread late and the OP has been given excellent advice by some posters. I maintain though that regardless of all this, she can ignore your post and feel welcome to vent on here all she likes, this is absolutely a good place to do that. You don't get to make the rules.

[Spero]

Of course op can ignore my contribution. I don't make any rules here. All I do is abide by the existing rules. If you think I have not, report me.

I have not used any derogatory language. I have pointed out some things which in my view are important.

It is one thing to vent, another to call two little children 'shits' and talk about hitting them, with a social services investigation in the background.

If you don't like hearing that - tough.

[allnewtaketwo]

Oh go and find your high horse to sit on FFS. Or trot of to another parenting board to scold naughty parents at the end of their tether.

[BabyHMummy]

There is a big difference between hitting and smacking for disciplines sake.

The ss investigation was long.time ago and there is.no.further involvement and it had nothing to do.with me, was while.dp and ex were still together.

And it isn't like I.called them names to their faces ffs. I came on here to vent and possibly get support from similar thinking ppl. Pardon my naivety that this was the point of a forum.

I don't see the parents or step parents who have commented similar getting the same level of attack.

[NotaDisneyMum]

I have not used any derogatory language. I have pointed out some things which in my view are important.

Others have been personally insulting though, Spero - perhaps it's them who have upset the OP?

[Spero]

You don't seem to be reading what I am reading. There is more going on than just a step mum at the end of her tether. What is this investigation by social services? Why can't her partner look after his own children?

She is about to have a baby so this situation is going to get worse. I just don't see how the o hunz you just vent away approach is going to help.

But fine, ignore away. I can't stop you. But you are not going to convince me about how wrong I am and how right you are with these kind of responses.

[Spero]

Notadisneymum - those who have been insulting are just twats. You don't get anyone listening to you if ounare rude and insulting. Pity so many on both sides of the argument are ignorant of this simple point.

I hope the op gets more help and support before her baby comes. And I hope the children do as well.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Oh but Spero, I'm reading posts on this thread that do challenge the OP, that do ask questions, that do advise her to change her approach?
Have you seen those, too?

[NotaDisneyMum]

Notadisneymum - those who have been insulting are just twats. You don't get anyone listening to you if ounare rude and insulting.

Oh, the irony

[Spero]

Yup, given that I wrote some of them. And when I point out this is a consequence of posting on an open forum that is NOT called 'letz all hug and call our step kids shit' I get an, er, 'interesting' response.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

It is hard being a step parent. It can be a thankless task with seemingly few rewards for large sacrifices.

I would implore you to examine your attitude to your dsc. I know you don't want to hear it, but I can sense animosity towards them through your posts. For example, the way you dismiss your dsd's promise to teach the baby how to tie shoelaces ( "something she has yet to master, I might add..").

Asking for the thread to be deleted is OTT. In my view, nobody has been unkind or abusive.
You are entitled to disagree with me, just as I with you.
Such is the nature of 'venting' on a public parenting forum.

[Spero]

So where have I been rude and insulting? Baffled now.

[Spero]

For possibly the fourth time, of course it is good to vent. But it is also good to think about the reality of your situation and especially about two young children who didn't ask to be born.

[NotaDisneyMum]

harlem I disagree.

Your condemnation of the OPs disgusting attitude was very unkind and totally uncalled for, given the self awareness that the OP expressed in her initial post.

Your comment gave no constructive advice - it was merely intended to hurt.

[Spero]

Yes but sadly for the op she went on to be a lot less self aware in subsequent posts. Her attitude is worrying. These children are 8 and 10, not teenagers. They are very vulnerable.

[NotaDisneyMum]

So where have I been rude and insulting? Baffled now.

The irony of insulting people who are rude and insulting in their posts!

I don't disagree with your questions and advice to the OP, Spero - but I can't get my knickers in a twist about the hand-holders like you seem to have done; there's room on MN for both

[Spero]

Sorry, I thought you meant I was being rude to op. d'oh.

I don't mind being rude to rude people as frankly nothing you say will impact on them. But being rude to op in this situation is obviously counter productive as she will just get defensive.

I am not getting my knickers in a twist about anything. Just pointing out that op can't be surprised she gets views she doesn't like and asking for thread to be deleted on that basis is a bit OTT.

But apparently this makes me a god of mumsnet and proud owner of a lovely horse. How exciting.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Perhaps 'disgusting attitude' was too strong.
And yes, the OP did express regret in her opening post.

However, she then spent the rest of the thread defending her attitude towards the children, spurred on, perhaps, by the avalanche of posters who assured her that her feelings were natural and understandable.

I stand by this: I would implore you to examine your attitude to your dsc. I know you don't want to hear it, but I can sense animosity towards them through your posts. For example, the way you dismiss your dsd's promise to teach the baby how to tie shoelaces ( "something she has yet to master, I might add..").

[BabyHMummy]

I have not defended anything I.have explained why I am.frustrated.

And wasn't dismissing anything, I thought it was cute that she was trying to think of.things she could.teach the baby once.she masters doing them herself.

You seem to.be intent on thinking the worst of me so.stop.posting as I requested earlier

[Spero]

Bottom line for me is, I know it's hard being a step parent. Not because I am one, but because I have some imagination and compassion.

But step parents are adults. They can look out for themselves and get help if they need to. Children cannot. Especially 8 year olds. So vent if it helps but don't expect to get 100% support for your justifications on an open forum.