Step-Parents Wine Drinking Club

[cobbledtogether]

It seems the logical move.



DSD sends over 800 texts one month on the phone we pay for OH acting like an arse Weekend plans changed at last minute Cook dinner, then OH cooks something else as they 'just fancy xxxxx'

glug, glug, glug, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[caramelwaffle]

hic x

[miniwedge]

Thanks for last night waffle.

have the joys of trying to get her mum to agree school choices with us today. Has been dithering since 11plus results came back.

[EMS23]

jonesy - that is shit and so familiar - my DSS comes out with stuff like that sometimes and it breaks my heart but I can cope - my DH on the otherhand, it utterly floors him.

Thanks for advice re my due date and access weekend. If I could be sure when the baby will decide to come, I would re arrange but as it's just a due date, I'm loathe to mess with arrangements only for nothing to happen. Will play it by ear but have started gently "reminding" my DH to "remind" his ex that due date is looming and she will need to make herself available as and when.
As is so common for a lot of us, I think that any mention of me and our baby, winds his ex up so he's loathe to ever mention it but in this case, he has to be brave.

It wouldn't be so bad if we knew anyone round here that we could rely on but we moved here to be close to DSS so have no family or friends (as yet) nearby!
We are however very lucky in that his ex's mum is great and very supportive of my DH so if it came to it, I'm sure she would take my DSS.

[glasscompletelybroken]

I just can't believe someone has mentioned the "C" word on here already. It's too awful to contemplate that this far ahead. I need a few more weeks of deluding myself that it will all be fine...

[cobbledtogether]

Pssssssssssst....
Looks around furtively.

I've just had to run and hide here after looking at the 'spend time with my partner thread' after the 10th use of the word 'selfish' by what seems to be non-SPs.



Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but I don't think its selfish to want to spend time with your partner without his kids.

Bottoms up! [hwink]

Glass, shall we rename the coming festive day "chiantimas" or "champagmas" to help with your denial?

[caramelwaffle]

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I agree, babyheave. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Champagmas, darlink'. Champagmas.

[glasscompletelybroken]

Oh yes please - "chiantimas" sounds right up my street!

[caramelwaffle]

Ahhhhhhh School Choices, miniwedge

[DeadBodyofKaraStarbuckThrace]

Hello, mind if I jump in?

When DS was born, DH brought DSS(7 at the time) to the hospital to pick me and DS up. I was absolutely beyond exhausted as I had not slept in 4 days, and I needed DH to look after me. Instead he was running around after DSS the whole time. He was supposed to take him back 5 days later (DS was born at Xmas) and DH and DSS's mum decided without consulting me that he could stay an extra 3 more days so that DSS's mum could go out on the lash the day after he was supposed to go back

I was fucking furious.

I'm secretly glad DC2 will be born during term time, so at the most we'll have him 2 nights right after the baby is born, which means DH will be able to concentrate on looking after me and DS (who will be 3.5 when new baby comes).

[caramelwaffle]

Sorry to hear that DBKST.

Here's hoping you have a speedy and peaceful labour.

[DeadBodyofKaraStarbuckThrace]

On a Sunday night!!

We're lucky in that we do get on okay with DSS's mum.
Except for her being a control freak, who wants to micromanage the time we spent DSS. She rants at DH if we don't take DSS somewhere that costs money every weekend - she doesn't get that sometimes DSS is perfectly happy slobbing around the house! And that we are not rolling in it.

[cobbledtogether]

Here DBKST, have a glass of something chilled. Sounds like you need it!

[Petal02]

I think it's totally tragic that those first few days with new baby are often blighted by having step children hanging around. Just goes to show that most men have zero idea about how intrusive their new wives/partners find step children.

Looking forward to my second glass of PG !

[notremotelyintofootie]

god can i join you ladies?? Dp is being an arse because dsd (15) is doing the usual teen thing of having a social life! Its been 6 weeks since we saw her and she's umming and arring about when shes coming this week! Dp has the week off but i have to work 3 days so he'll have dd (11 months) to look after and i just know he's gonna moan about that....he's like a bear with a sore head and my ds(11) is bearing the brunt of it in response to normal pre-teen behaviour! I'm fed up with comments barbed with 'the little prince' and dsd is threatening to move in next year and yet gardly visits!!! Arghhhh pass me the bottle - red/white/rose/meths!!

[cobbledtogether]

Hi . I've got a bottle of French red that I was saving for a special occasion. Salut Friday!

[notremotelyintofootie]

thanks! Just had a bloody row with dp... He's been on phone to dsd whos dithering again but the upshot seems to be dp now thinks ds is spoilt but cant give examples (he isnt, i'm poor and he has less than all his mates! And i'm mean and say no alot!) and when i try and say he's being a dick he denies it so i walked off and he dared tp say ?if you walk off i'm leaving this house and not coming back!' so i said fine, do let the bed bugs bite your arse on the way out! Arghhhh bloody dsd affecting the house like this!!

Pour me a very large one please!

[Abip]

OOOOOOhhhh large glass (glug glug glug )stupid DP with his tight ways x cheese and biscuits ladies CHEESE AND BISCUITS !!!!

[cobbledtogether]

What an arse! Remind me footie - which one is 15 again? dsd or dp?

We went through a phase where dsd was at a different party every weekend of about 8 weeks and she'd fit dh in for a couple of hours on a Sunday. Its hard to see them realise that they are not the most important thing in their dds life any more, poor things, but not so great that he's taking it out on you.

[iceandlemon]

Hello. May I join you all? Our weekend of doing stuff is curtailed by dsd's premature return on Sunday afternoon. Apparently her mother has to complete a job application . this obviously is simply impossible with a 6 year old in the house, right? No more wine for me though I'm afraid! Another sip will send me from excruciatingly tired to deadish, and I'm expecting DS to wake at least 25 times tonight.

I feared the worst when I was due with ds as he was due in the middle of the Easter hols. fortunately he was early!

[reddaisy]

Evening! Tea for me tonight instead of wine as I'm sooo tired.

Footie, how are things now?

I would say 95 per cent of our arguments are related to DSD in some way (not blaming her btw, just how it seems to work out)

We DSD to the 12 week scan when I was pregnant so she could feel included. It wasn't until that night that I felt so disappointed that it hadn't just been me and DP in there sharing that special moment.

[notremotelyintofootie]

well dp has buggered off to work thank god, he was still moaning this morning so i reminded him that pre teens and teens are selfish and wont appreciate him until they are older etc and said we have to ride it out... I think you are right, he thinks he should be number 1 in dsd's life but he's not and he cant handle that... I really dont want her moving in next year and i know thats horrible to say but it would mean that as well as a bratty 16 year old taking over the place who isnt keen on ds (who will be 12!) it means that dd who will be 18 months will have to move into our room and dp snores so badly so she won't sleep! Arghhhh not to mention the extra cost/stress etc.....

Is it too early for a little glass now?

[Petal02]

Is 8.40am to early to drink wine?? DH has now gone to work, he'll be back at 6pm, leaving me with SS16 all day. I told DH that this is last Saturday that I'm having SS16 here in his absence. Surely an access arrangement is the for the child to spend time with the parent? Just lately, it seems to be less about SS16/DH spending time together, more a case of DH removing SS16 from BM's house, as per BM's instructions, regardless of whether they'll be spending time together or not.

Over the last few weeks, I've felt like DH simply sets me up to have access with his son, and then buggers off to work. I know he works really long hours at this time of year, but if he's not at home to spend time with his son, why on earth should I have to do it for him??????? What is the point of that?? Maybe I should arrange for my Gran to spend every Sunday afternoon with us, drop her off with DH, and then head out to the shops?????

Sorry, will go and put the kettle on .....

[theredhen]

Petal,

I feel for you I really do. I was with an ex who tried to insist I had his kids all day Saturday while he went to work on Saturday and then he went out sailing for 5 hours on Sunday and expected me to look after his kids then too! He didn't even live with me!

I insisted his kids go back to their Mum and she and him had a nice little chat about how horrid I was in not looking after the children and how they were told that redhen doesn't want you!

Seems to me that neither BP wanted those kids, but I was made to be the bad guy to those kids. .

The situation I am in now is slightly different, but it's still blinkin hard being left with a load of kids when DP is out and I just want some space for myself.

[Petal02]

Morning Redhen, we both share the same frustrations, don't we? I know that DH will argue that his son isn't doing any harm - which is true, I can't fault his behaviour - but what is the ***ing point of 'access by proxy?'

I know just what you mean about being the bad guy - BM isn't interested in SS16, DH works every hour god sends, but if object to picking up the slack, I expect to be burnt at stake.

I just don't see the point of SS16 being here all day when his father isn't. There's no gain for either of them (ie, they're not spending time with each other), it drives me up the wall - by hey, BM's happy .......

[WildistheWind]

Morning Ladies, still early for vino but I raise my mug to you all!

DH is stepping in my shoes this week.

DD's BF is visiting from Canada for a week so he'll be around , DH picked him up this morning from the airport...Quite a lot of history there but am glad DD is now forming a relationship with her BF.

I might need some vino soon enough though....feels quite weird!