Step-Parents Wine Drinking Club

[cobbledtogether]

It seems the logical move.



DSD sends over 800 texts one month on the phone we pay for OH acting like an arse Weekend plans changed at last minute Cook dinner, then OH cooks something else as they 'just fancy xxxxx'

glug, glug, glug, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[SMummyS]

It really bugged me cos my DSD was a 'contraception mishap' in other words ex wide wanted a baby and a wedding but knew she wouldn't get either!!

Yeah thinks that's why DSD calls me too, I wake up when shouted fog horns could rise her dad!!

[jonesy71]

I saw that one too smummys, I actually had to stop reading it, it was getting me so angry!

[wrongagain]

I think the point when we knew everything would be ok was when my normally extremely shy DSD let me pick her up and take her into the newsagents on my own to buy her a comic. It was only the second time I had met her but it really made me smile that she wanted to come with me.
My DSD always calls me when she ill, she knows i'll get up quicker then daddy will!!

[SMummyS]

I'm avoiding that forum, was rather pissed at a thread about 'contraception accidents' grrrrr

[SMummyS]

Awwww that's lovely, the turning point for me was when DSD walked into the worktop she went to her dad first then to me for a hug :) made my day. When she's poorly she comes to me. After a not so nice week at her mums she said I wish I was her real mum. Like you I said she best not say things like that as shed upset her mum, she replied 'so, I dont care'... She's only 5!! She's not stupid tho she knows her mums lying about things which is good.

[jonesy71]

completely off the subject i'm sorry but i was just looking over in AIBU and someone has asked a (probably very stupid) question about early scans and she's getting a viscous pasting from some, - will look back later with interest to see if there are any deletions.

[wrongagain]

Fair play to you, the older DSD is the more they will take her opinion into account too.
Bless her bet shes a really good kid too.
I'm a bit gutted today... I have to work tonight but was too tired last night to finish my wine. So its sat in the fridge look like it wants to be drank and I can't drink it!
Last night DSD said " You're my favourite mummy!" I did explain thats veyr nice but she mustn't say that to her mummy as it may upset her. She then said "You are both my favourite mummy's!"
She was very clingy to me again yesterday, didn't want daddy at all, just me!

[SMummyS]

MJ I wait for the day she decides to live with us. Solicitor says they listen to he child at 11 years old...

[SMummyS]

Once DP is sorted with a job he's going to push for fri to sun or fri to mon. I'm on contract with work till aug next year. Then I will be finding employment around school hours and prob going for residency. We keep telling DSD to tell her teacher if she's not happy at home as SS say there is nothing wrong at her mums Grrrrr that's cos she's a lying beep!!!

[wrongagain]

Thats ridiculous, do you live near enough to do schools runs and the lark? Maybe you could try for more contact in the week?

I've just realised I sound really pushy, I don't mean to!! I know you have probably been through every scenario possible already.

[SMummyS]

Wrongagain DSD tells anyone who listens she wants to live with us but as she's only 5 it's not easy to implement. She told her mum she wants to live wih us and her mum replied 'tough your stuck here with me' not 'you can't id miss you too much' evil woman!!!

[SMummyS]

After 10 weeks cafcass still hadn't appointed a case worker so exW solicitor gave her a talking to... Minimum contact is 3 weekends out of 4 and holidays as an when.. Weekends however are 11am sat till 5pm sun.. Bit shit if we want a day out

[wrongagain]

Smummy I bet you can give DSD a fabulous home, it's a shame that your DSD is being given a hard time just because of who her father is. It's not like you give her a hard time because of the fact she isn't yours.

Its damn fustrating. DSD's mother didn't show an interest until we went to solicitors... now shes trying to be the perfect parent.
I wonder if your DSD's mother would give her up to live with you if she could get away with it and still look like a 'good mother.'

[harassedinherpants]

I've always found Cafcass rather difficult to deal with and generally biased. My solicitor told me it's because it's staffed by ex probation office staff and they have little/no training in dealing with children. That was 9ish years ago, so hopefully it's changed but I wouldn't hold my breath!

[SMummyS]

Wrongagain, we've got more contact than cafcass would have suggested.. I get the impression that she doesn't want DSD with her but she doesn't want her with us eiher.. Like Xmas, falls on our weekend so DP said we can sort something so you see her blah blah blah.. No it's ok I don't want to change the access arrangement. It's as if because she's not her new husbands she doesn't want her there on Xmas day.

[SMummyS]

I'm not ttc :( but usually as regular as clockwork. No appointments till mon so il have to chill all weekend...

Harrased it must be horrible for you, although we had talked about having a baby we decided in a couple of years time, I don't know how you ttc ladies do it, I often wander on the ttc forums..

[wrongagain]

Poor child, could you not get at least shared residency so DSD doesn't have to put up with it all the time? Bless that poor child my heart goes out to her.

[harassedinherpants]

Emphasis on ttc....I'm 40 now and we're on our 6th cycle of trying now. Fell with the other 3 on the first month of trying even though technically an "older" mother when I had dd. Not giving up yet!

Smummys ttc is the pits!!! I'd pop to doc if I were you and just get checked over x

[SMummyS]

Wrongagain already been to court and seen as though she can't get to DP by stopping or rearranging contact shes resorted to that!! Oh that's not the lowest she's gone either.... Our solicitor advised us to keep a diary, it contains when her SD slept in her bed, when she's hit, when a door slammed in the wind at our house DSD flew under the kitchen table cos doors are always being slammed at mummys oh and mummy broke the door when SD went to the pub... Such a nice family home they have!!!

[wrongagain]

jonesy DSD's mother went on holiday, one day later DSD was really ill and sick everywhere. When we told her she said "Tell her I will see her when I get back."
Right because that is a huge comfort to a 5 year old who feels crap and just wants a cuddle. Grrr makes me mad.

[wrongagain]

Smummy that is digusting. I cannot believe a mother would do that to her child! and we're the wicked witches?! Her mother sounds vile, have you considered the courts? Make a note of everything DSD says to you as evidence.

Don't be down in the dumps keep smiling, leave it a week and if AF still hasn't come try again, sometimes it takes a while for a positive to come through. xxxx