Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children for good behaviour

[EllieMumsnet]

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A big part of parenting is trying to raise your children to be good and kind people, but for young children, it can be tricky to fully understand what good behaviour is, which is why many parents reward their children for their good behaviour as a way to encourage these good habits. With this in mind Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children?

Here’s what Sky Broadband have to say: “As part of our new Sky Broadband Boost pack, we have launched a brand new app called Sky Broadband Buddy, which gives parents the ultimate level of control over their family’s internet usage. Buddy takes parental controls to the next level with its market leading features such as being able to pause your internet, filter sites and manage screen time on devices on WiFi and mobile data. You can even use screen time rewards for when they’ve tidied their bedroom or helped with the washing up to keep everyone happy with more of their favourite apps, games, or sites.”

Do you have a reward chart in place for you children and if so what types of things do you reward them for? Do you use extra screen time as a reward? Maybe you like to reward your children with their favourite food or a sweet treat? Perhaps you’ve found the best reward is allowing them to buy something for themselves; maybe a game, a film or a new toy? Or do you give your children options on what rewards they would like?

However you reward your children share it on the thread below and everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw
MNHQ

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I used rewards for potty training and would never use it as a strategy again tbh. DS ended up with an entire collection of plastic clockwork trains from the Thomas the Tank Engine collection. Once he'd completed his collection he stayed dry consistently, a skill he'd clearly acquired a long time previously.

He is much cleverer than me.

The boys used to pick a toy car (99p variety) to bribe them to be good in the supermarket. That was alright for a while, and better than sweets, but blimey, we were overrun with the damn things.

They've never seen the point in star charts and stickers. Neither have I. Easier to just have constant expectations of behaviour which, at 8 and 6, they mostly conform to.

I'm sure it will vary as they grow up but I believe that if we give them a firm and constant baseline of expectations and boundaries they stand a fair chance of growing up balanced and normal.

Therefore:
Good behaviour = expected, not rewarded.
Treats are handed out as and when something comes along. Not linked.

I give my children pennies for their holiday bank when they do or achieve something extraordinary.

I don't reward for good behaviour specifically. Good behaviour is to be expected.

I expect good behaviour and randomly buy small treats as and when my children need or want something! Xx

We expect good behaviour.

I agree with Pascha and the others above - good behaviour should be expected rather than rewarded.

Bad behaviour means no pocket money or less screen time.

This is a tricky one, of course good behaviour should be expected, but it's useful to encourage it and children respond well to rewards. Praise the behaviour and be clear about what they have done so that they know what good behaviour looks like. Equally, if you are commenting on bad behaviour or undesirable behaviour make sure that it's the behaviour that you are commenting on not the child.
There's nothing wrong with a treat as a reward but there's a difference between rewards and bribes.

Agree, good behaviour is something we expect.

Good behaviour is expected and not rewarded.
Bad behaviour is punished by removing stuff. So screens yes as these have the least meaning or impact and can easily be done without from a parents perspective.

My kids are not that bothered about screens though so it’s a good thing that they are rarely so badly behaved that need to remove stuff.

Another one who expects good behaviour, and uses things like screens as options to be removed if behaviour isn't good.

We sometimes use rewards for doing specific things e.g. if we all go for this walk we can have an ice cream when we get there.

Agree that good behaviour should be expected rather than rewarded -

Although I like to buy treats at random times, and say they are a little thank you for excellent or kind behaviour on X and Y occasions over the last week or so.

Also helps maintain the impression that I always have my eye on them!

Good behaviour is rewarded through praise.

I don't really tend to give "stuff" or treats for good behaviour as often bad behaviour is more about them being tired or sad or stressed. Good behaviour gets praised and (hopefully) modelled. Bad behaviour gets consequences, but I am quite soft really. The consequence might even be a cuddle and some calming down if I feel the child just got overwhelmed.

I expect good behavior as the normal. I'll pick up little bits and pieces as a little treat when out and about, notebooks, pens etc. I try not to reward with food, but it's difficult.

I expect good behaviour and manners as standard!! However if my children go above and beyond what is expected or do extra jobs round the house then I do treat them :)

I do expect good behaviour and I sometimes reward it, mostly it is verbally (praise) but occasionally I do treat them. My DC are at the age where they constantly seem to be bickering, so if I have been somewhere where I need them to behave ie doctors, hairdressers, nip in to work etc, then I do reward good behaviour with extra screen time or a sweet reward.

It depends how big a reward. Just little rewards, then I cook their favourite meal. Something bigger, I put money in an account for them to spend on something special when it mounts up.

Praise good behaviour to reinforce expectations.

I don't promise a reward in advance of good behaviour because I think that can make my 5year old anxious and actually cause bad behaviour.
But after good behaviour I always acknowledge it verbally, and depending on what it was, may give a new toy, choice of day out activity eg soft play, swimming, park.
Or it could be an extra bedtime story, a food treat, tv time, play a game together etc for good behaviour such as playing nicely with his little sister (this doesn't happen often )

I like natural consequences, which when we think about good behaviour is that everyone is happier / life is easier!
I try to use reinforcement of good behaviour alongside the natural consequence eg “That was kind of you to share, it’s fun for your friends to have a turn” or with older children “Thanks leaving the activity straight away - it made our day out much less stressful for me”!

We use praise as a reward

Praise and positive attention work well. I try not to reward my children with food/sweet treats. I grew up with food issues and want my children to have a simple relationship with food - not see it as a reward.

Another one here who doesn’t reward for good behaviour. Raised my dc on the premise that you don’t get rewards for doing what you’re supposed to do and so far they’ve turned out fine.

I wouldn't normally reward good behaviour as such. Not like giving them something or buying something. If I think they've been kind, have listened well or have taken on board something I've asked them I'll praise but they're all still little so need to be praised for doing good as much as they need reminding when they've been not so good.
I will sometimes set up a reward for a specific thing I might need them to do i.e. be polite when we visit v elderly grandparents and you can have an ice cream or whatever. Something to look forward to more than anything.
Screen time never comes into it as they don't really have a choice over that. I might put a film/cartoon on when I've got work to do or when they've been busy and I want them to calm a little. Less a treat for them and more a coping strategy for me managing 3 under 6 alone.

I don't. It promotes entitlement for doing what is meant to be done.

They get little things that I think will interest them every now and then.