Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children for good behaviour

[EllieMumsnet]

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A big part of parenting is trying to raise your children to be good and kind people, but for young children, it can be tricky to fully understand what good behaviour is, which is why many parents reward their children for their good behaviour as a way to encourage these good habits. With this in mind Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children?

Here’s what Sky Broadband have to say: “As part of our new Sky Broadband Boost pack, we have launched a brand new app called Sky Broadband Buddy, which gives parents the ultimate level of control over their family’s internet usage. Buddy takes parental controls to the next level with its market leading features such as being able to pause your internet, filter sites and manage screen time on devices on WiFi and mobile data. You can even use screen time rewards for when they’ve tidied their bedroom or helped with the washing up to keep everyone happy with more of their favourite apps, games, or sites.”

Do you have a reward chart in place for you children and if so what types of things do you reward them for? Do you use extra screen time as a reward? Maybe you like to reward your children with their favourite food or a sweet treat? Perhaps you’ve found the best reward is allowing them to buy something for themselves; maybe a game, a film or a new toy? Or do you give your children options on what rewards they would like?

However you reward your children share it on the thread below and everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw
MNHQ

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Only time I've used rewards was when potty training so that was for around a week. Generally I just expect good behaviour, bad behaviour is dealt with. The DC do get treats but it's not directly linked to specific chores/behaviour.

good behaviour is expected and taught.do not start their life off by making good behavior equals treat.
but of course there will be days where being human they have a bad day and show it with sulking or being disobedient then we might say if they can be good weill get an iced bun say after the shop.
and if they do something really kind or good we wont highlight it as such with a treat but more praise how nice and good it was so we want to treat them.
they do get pennies sometimes fr their piggy banks if they do little chores.

it more doing soemthing they can look forward to when things are happy and good.

I try to be consistent in praising good behaviour and the kids know good behaviour is expected. I am lucky that on the whole my two are ok when out and about and at home.I dont reward good behaviour specifically but would take kids to the park or get icecream or something if behaviour had been good while out shopping etc. My kids know if they dont tow the line we dont get to do nice things.
The only time I really resorted to bribery/ specific rewards was when DD was potty training will do same for DS. We had a sticker chart and chocolate buttons. It worked brilliantly.

praise?

Treats for good behaviour include going to the park, playing hide and seek or tig and just playing with teddies. I think it is important to parise good behaviour unlike some has suggested above otherwise we only seem to focus on communicating when bad behaviour occurs

I don’t necessarily reward good behaviour more like extra effort. Good behaviour is what I teach them is a basic requirement in life.

That said ..

I don’t have much money and teenagers want or let me rephrase that need a lot! I try and get them special items but also teach them that they do not need branded items. Sometimes the cheaper item is of a better quality. Another treat is having their favourite meal prepared for them.

We have used reward/sticket charts in the past - but they tend to peter out & we never found them that effective.
What does work is lots of acknowledgment & praise when things are done well/behaviour is good/tempers are managed well. That's when the message gets through I think, much more so that enforcing punitive consequences for behaviours that's not sg good.

We have a set limit for screen time and it gets reduced if there’s poor behaviour choices or increased if there’s good choices.
We also reward in other ways like outings/choosing favourite meal, mine were never very in to star charts as a motivational tool.

I don’t really like reward charts, I think children should be taught to show good behaviour without the promise of a treat at the end. I do praise my sons though. However after a good parent’s evening I do let my eldest have a magazine. It’s the only time I really buy them.

He also struggles with his demanding younger brother so when we can I take him out for the day one on one. We did it last Saturday, we met my stepmum for lunch, I gave him some money to spend in smyths toy store and we went to the cinema. I don’t really connect it to behaviour though.

i allow extra time on certain activities as a reward- so for example an extra 20 min in the park-
getting to stay up 30 mins extra
an item from the poundshop

Good behaviour is expected... bad behaviour (rare these days tbh...touch wood) will result in no pocket money/ not being allowed to a party/ play date,...

Extra good behaviour: good report/ exam results/ extra kind, helpful or considerate behaviour rewarded by a treat eg. Sweets, a choice of a movie download, and app download, cinema trip, Nando's, a new toy/ book/ video game or recently YouTube merch....

I have a twinkl sticker chart, the more stickers the more treats. It works for good bedtimes, teeth brushing, and kind sharing. The rewards at the end of the week are picking the film to watch on Saturday night, whilst the other picks a takeaway (we probably would have done this without the sticker chart - happy days).

I find a cuddle and praise is enough for good behaviour, as stickers and money may lead to always wanting something in return for an action.
Rewards are always given, an extra hour staying up at the weekend watching a film, baking a cake of their choice for tea, or a going to the cinema, telling them because of good behaviour and positive choices, they have received this treat.

I don't believe in bribing children to be good, this will lead to the bribes getting bigger and the children effectively wrapping you around their little fingers - I see it so much with friends - yes it does make life easier in the short term, but will lead to long term problems.
Children are boosted with kind words praise and smiles, and of course treats and gifts when I see kind sharing, kind words and your love are all a child needs.

I offer plenty of praise when any of the dc achieve/behave/do something over and above our normal expectations. For example I don't praise them for doing homework or putting their shoes in the basket...my kids can spot fake praise a mile away...but if they empty the dishwasher without being asked then I will tell them how delighted I am.

Eldest dc sat her exams over the last month and I was really impressed at how she managed her study time and coped with the stress, so I told her so. Didn't actively reward her with anything though.

My dc get treats as and when just because it's nice to get treats, not tied in to behaviour. However I can absolutely see that rewards could work if you have a particularly challenging child, we've just luckily never needed to.

We have a wipe clean chart for things like, reading book time, kind sharing, tidying toys up, cleaning out the rabbit hutch and unloading the dishwasher. I have a 'garden gate' counting system in 5s and on the weekend this is rewarded in cinema trips, spending money, and a new playstation game (well it's nearly always pre-owned and swapped from one of their others - but then never know).
TBH I would be doing this anyway, but it gives DS1 and DS1 a feeling of pride when rewards are given.
I will make it clear that if there are any misdemeanours points will be deducted to the treat will take longer to be achieved. This seems to work, and since I introduced it, harmony ensues (most of the time) at home. Thank you.

Stickers!

Everyone has intrinsic motivation which comes from inside. If we reward things they do this is extrinsic motivation and research has found that actually rewarding behaviours causes them to diminish.

I acknowledge and thank my child for her efforts but do not reward. And if there is "bad" behaviour then we discuss it and why it is inappropriate. In small children all behaviour is communication and their brains are still developing and so explaining things to them and helping them is way more appropriate than punishment and as your child gets older as your relationship grows generally you can discuss any issues and sort them out. I don't punish or reward other adults and I don't need to do it for my child either.

I agree with many of the previous posters that good behaviour is expected as standard and not linked to any particular reward. DD loves verbal praise so that is used when she is particularly good. I buy treats as and when although they can be taken away for bad behaviour. I tried a star chart during her potty training but she didn't take to it at all although I can see the merits of it.

Vegetable charts are a winner for my picky eaters

A pound coin if they have been extra good over a wet weekend indoors or other heroics

Screentime... yes... 20-30mins on the phone or laptop aftwr tea is contingent on maths and other homework being completed

If toilet, teeth and pyjamas go swiftly, my eldest gets a long cosy storytime with Mum.

We praise good behaviour and would reward with something like an ice cream on a day trip, a toy car or new pencils.

But only if they had been very good. We try to reward things such as kindness or thoughtfulness and sometimes I leave them little notes by their beds which they love.

Frequently sweets, but I don’t feel good about it!

I believe in good behaviour is expected but with my children it's taken a whilst to get to that level so I do reward them more often for helping me out and being good. I buy myself treats when I've done something good or need a boost why not do it for my children also?

I say thank you or well done for xyz. Tried rewards and they don't work 🤷‍♀️

Good behaviour and manners are an expected norm and always praised. Poor behaviour/choice are punished by taking something away. Usually screen time.

Treats are given for trying hard, helpfulness etc