Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children for good behaviour

[EllieMumsnet]

This activity is now closed

A big part of parenting is trying to raise your children to be good and kind people, but for young children, it can be tricky to fully understand what good behaviour is, which is why many parents reward their children for their good behaviour as a way to encourage these good habits. With this in mind Sky Broadband would like to know how you reward your children?

Here’s what Sky Broadband have to say: “As part of our new Sky Broadband Boost pack, we have launched a brand new app called Sky Broadband Buddy, which gives parents the ultimate level of control over their family’s internet usage. Buddy takes parental controls to the next level with its market leading features such as being able to pause your internet, filter sites and manage screen time on devices on WiFi and mobile data. You can even use screen time rewards for when they’ve tidied their bedroom or helped with the washing up to keep everyone happy with more of their favourite apps, games, or sites.”

Do you have a reward chart in place for you children and if so what types of things do you reward them for? Do you use extra screen time as a reward? Maybe you like to reward your children with their favourite food or a sweet treat? Perhaps you’ve found the best reward is allowing them to buy something for themselves; maybe a game, a film or a new toy? Or do you give your children options on what rewards they would like?

However you reward your children share it on the thread below and everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

Good behaviour expected here too, never been into rewarding it specifically

I do reward with small things (sometimes treats, stickers etc). But these have to be special things and not just all good behaviour.

We don't use any bribes or rewards. The reward of behaving well is a more relaxed and fun family home. Bad behaviour will result in irritated parents, and nobody wants that.

I used to reward for good behaviour or doing simple jobs and then found my kids only would do things for reward! Got into growth mindset reading and found better to reward the extra effort and journey taken, rather than the end result. My DS now gets an allowance for a regular household job rather than random tasks like ‘i’ve cleaned my room can I have ps4 pack for...!’ I also found my DD wants my time more or to do fun things together, so heartbreaking when a cuddle in bed is seem as a reward! Put me to shame as a busy working mum, so i’ve learnt to reward less in terms of money/purchases and spend more qual time together. I have to control screen time otherwise would be on all the time, so any help with much appreciated!

I can see that star charts and stickers have a mixed review here. When ds was smaller we had some real success by giving him the sticker at the beginning of the day so that he had something to lose, rather than trying to motivate positive behaviour by offering what seems like a distant reward. If he behaved well he could keep the sticker all day and then add it to the sticker chart at bedtime. We would help him to choose a reward to save up for, I remember one was going to the LazyTown live show.
Now the dcs are older and see reason we tend to encourage intrinsic motivators to help them 'get stuff done'. They have a nice life with everything they need and most things they want and recognise behaving well is part of the deal.

With a sweet treat

When my daughter was younger we used a reward chart to improve her behaviour. Rewards were usually an activity. It could be something simple like making chocolate Rice Krispie cakes which she loved making and eating! Or a trip out somewhere.

Good behaviour is expected on the whole, but I am not above a bribe when something needs to be done quickly, to get a nice photo etc. Usually a snack or small object of desire.

I have used reward charts for toilet training only as it was something ds really struggled with. I am against them for altruistic behaviour as I don't want to teach my kids to be nice to people only when there is something in it for them. I also let them know when they are naughty that while I am not pleased with their behaviour, I will always love them anyway.

I have pre-school aged children, so I imagine my techniques will need to change as they get older.

We reward our children with a tick chart. They start by picking something they want with a value of up to£15. They then have this printed with a chart which they tick off for various things like school merits, kind behaviour, helpful behaviour, tidying their room etc. Once the chart is full they get the prize. It works really well as little things can be rewarded as well as bigger things and it shows that you have to save up over time to get something you really want. It works well for us.

I agree with other posters, good behaviours are expected but exceptional behaviour should in my opinion be rewarded and we do with our 3 DS, we reward with extra screen time or some nice food! Simple pleasures

I like to reward my girls (6 & 8) when they achieve things with praise rather than things. I try not to give them toys, as tend to reserve these for birthdays/Xmas rather than ad hoc. I usually withdraw things like screens for bad behaviour, and then good behavious allows them to 'earn' those things back again. I prefer to reward with trips to the park, or maybe cinema when they are especially good. At home, I might suggest we play a board game (or similar) together and they get to choose the game.

I make sure they are aware they have been good, and sometimes treat them to a day out or a little something. I make sure I praise them and encourage the, to make the right choices.

We're more likely to 'punish' bad behaviour than reward good.
So they'll lose some screen time or money from their money box if they don't behave well.

They can earn pocket money by doing chores and occasionally get a treat like an ice cream if we're out and they're being exceptionally good.

Both of my boys are quite different so I usually tailor to the child. For example at the moment if they clean there teeth before school and pass the tooth inspection they can have access to the ipad when they get in from school. My youngest who is seven often works towards a small toy or a sweet of his choice. My eldest at nine loves to read so I often give him additional reading time at night before he goes to bed and that really works for him. We also do family rewards where they can pick somewhere to go out and eat for good school work and behaviour as well as treats out like special days out. I also reward them with one to one time with me as when you have two kids you don't always get much with just one.

If they behave as expected they get their pocket money. If they don't it is stopped.
I've sometimes given a bit extra if they go above and beyond. For example when my son spilt rice crispies all over dining room floor and cleaned them all up without being asked. He'd done such a good job I'd never have known.

We reward good behaviour with monthly pocket money of £10 per child to spend as they wish (8 & 10). We punish bad behaviour by taking away the lifestyle they take for granted - for instance, pocket money, screen time (2 hours a night on weeknights for gaming/YouTube/tv shows) and more on weekends or during school holidays.

We're big believers in verbal praise and if one has done something especially fantastic (achievements at school or in hobbies etc) we'll have a big family meal consisting of their favourite foods.

I reward effort and perseverance with money, clothes or days out.

I always point out good behaviour, and praise it. I tend to ignore the crappy behaviour, as I feel kids respond best to what you notice about them. So if my DD is kind to my DS, I will say, for instance, that was very kind of you or "that was good sharing". They love to hear that I am happy with their behaviour, and will want to impress on me that that is how they behave most often. It seems to work. At a very challenging point I told my DD that if she rectified her behaviour for a week (she was getting into some bad habits) I would take her to smiggle and buy her something she really wanted. I think that helped her get out of the rut she was in.

We reward good behaviour as it's a better incentive/encouragement than having to punish bad behaviour! No set reward but we often go along the lines of £1 day for great behaviour (he doesn't have pocket money so this is his way of "earning" cash for his money box)

My son is ASD so charts during the week are very structured and straight to the point and this includes rewards. My son was confused as to why he was just getting rewards so now we give him extra time on his laptop to play his favourite games. When he has tidied his room he will get an extra 10 mins and simple hygiene tasks will get him 5mins more and so on. It's a big deal for him and he is so happy for to get any extra time.

I have only used reward charts and prizes whilst potty training my kids. Generally give them praise for good behaviour as thats expected from them at all times. When they do something extra ordinary I will treat them to something of their choice.

I used to keep a car jar for good behaviour. The boys could pick a toy car to play with if they had done well with their star charts. Nowadays they're more likely to want extra screen time or cash, both of which I would consider if the behaviour/task warranted it

Mine are older now- 17 and 11. They are motivated by cash incentives/ rewards(!) but, equally successful, is good old praise. I give them SINCERE praise, talk in detail about the good thing they have done, talk about the wider implications of their actions, how it makes them a decent person... and give them lots of positive attention, tell them how proud I am, let them hear me tell other people (eg grandma on the phone) how pleased I am with them for their good behaviour. That kind of thing.... not over the top though, and always sincere.

My 2 children's rewards was a trip to the Museum and then to town with me and if they have done well at school or helped out with any house work etc I used to take them to the Pound shop and tell them they could pick anything they wanted and my Daughter would 9/10 times say Can I have this mum is it to much or How much is this I used to chuckle to myself. Believe or not a Colouring pad and a pack of felt tip pens made them happy. Rewards don't have to be big things or cost a lot telling them how proud you are of them goes a long way.

As others have said, we don't tend to reward or use incentive charts. Feels a bit like the sort of conditioning one uses with animals.