Mail on Sunday Magazine

[lottiejenkins]

I found this article today..........I thought it was very moving,,,, what a decision that lady made... dont think i could do it though!
www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/you/article.html?in_article_id=522925&in_page_id=1908

The Mail on Sunday article was an abridged extract of her book. Not an article. So presumably all Julia's own words.

this thread needs to end

this thread needs to end

NMC- yes Jonkat is a fosterer of children with SN. Also appears to be male according to Talies.

Totalchaos,

Sorry,

However, at various posts in this thread it has been suggested that I am a paed, a social worker everything bar a toilet cleaner.

Those sugestions have then been followed, next sentance by a slag out of the profesion mentioned.

Therfore I have been and still am quite nervous of spilling all the beans.

But yes I am the parent of a child with SN

yurt1

I'm not sure why you object to JH receiving support here but for me, I'll continue to support her in any arena in which she is in need of support, especially one in which she is being very unfairly attacked on the basis of very little knowledge and the facts are boeing 'overlooked' although I've also read some very thoughtful responces to her here.

I'm not at all sure it behoves any of us to attempt to dictate how anyone should either offer or recieve support.

Surely those are highly personal matters to each of us.

Please note, I am not attacking anyone personally, nor the board in general, so I'm afraid it's a case of if the caps fits . . .

jonkat

Oh and Jonkat is neither male or female, not relevant here.

One of my daughters MSN says she is a "gentically modified hoover" just think of him like that.....

needmorecoffee

Thanks for that.

I am in fact a fulltime fostercarer, 24x7, I have 2 SN kids, and have had them for 15 years. They are the most wonderful kids I could ever hope for. Kind, loving, gentle and Oh so terribly vulnerable.

jonkat

but you did seem to think us biological parenst woudl be revolted by 'what we had produced'
Thats rather hideous. And not a good start on any board.

jonkat you have repeatedly baited mamazon. You're still here baiting people in you 'protection' of JH- who presumably doesn't use this part of the board (I'm struggling to see why she would tbh).

It's very dull and presumably a waste of your time. I think we've all formed our views of JH. Read plenty of 'in her own words' stuff, seen her on TV. listened to her on radio. Enough for me to decide that I think she's rather missed the point about a) what's important in life and b) what sort of responsibilites you take on when you're a parent.

Whatever. Other people may disagree. It doesn't really matter. If you're only here to defend JH I suspect you could be better off doing something else.

And that's my line under this thread because it is beyond boring now.

Taliesintraction

I'm not sure I like your last posting !!!!

jonkat

yurt1

It's only a waste of my time IF I am talking to closed kinds.

jonkat

Perhaps just independent minds.

Spoke to a friend today who knows nothing about mnet. She does have a disabled child though and rang me to tell me all about some vile, shallow women she'd seen on This Morning yesterday. I had no idea who she was talking about.

On Monday the 10th March, in response to PipinJo's post about JH throwing away her breast pump, Jonkat wrote:

"As for the breast pump thing, which of us has not (at some dark hour of the night) felt revolted by what we have produced ? Be honest now...........OK I know I foster ours and did not give birth to them so it is very different for me".

I still don't see a subsequent post from jonkat explaining what that remark means on a SN board if it does not mean that parents are being dishonest if they deny ever feeling revulsion for their child.

That sort of post is exactly why most people on MN are distrustful of your motives for posting, jonkat, and you as well Taliesin, for choosing not to see why that remark is so hostile and offensive in its implications.

I am glad jonkat's post is still there, so that people can see it for themselves

OK yurt,

Line under, on your specific query elsewhere Jonkat is the hoover to help you

marina

Can I refer you to later posts in which I made it perfectly clear that I was quoting other people, not expressing my own view, as some people here found it hard to notice that no one with that view could or would do what I do with SN kids.

jonakt

Taliesintraction

When I became a parent I took on the responsibility to do the very best I possibly could for my kids, that's exactly what Julia has done.

I admire her.

jonkat

Then you should have made it much clearer in your original post on the matter...given the contentiousness of the phrase and the context in which you were posting

It still reads to me as if s/he thinks that all parents think like that anyway, which is almost as bad.

Apparently it was our fault for not understanding it was a quote marina.

I know, it was cut and pasted with such care yurt real thought went into how to contextualise it appropriately.

I can't read any more positive interpretation into that remark either, even with jonkat's explanation.

Marina

I hope you have also noted that i have tried to stay issue based and ended up feeling like I am satan.

When someone on here, who has, (I didn't realise at the time) met me and my family then chose to say they felt i was trustworthy, they were slagged out too.

I almost feel ashamed to be a SN parent but for reasons some might be uncomfortable with...

So the person who made that comment to you Jonkat asked all the people in the room "which of us has not (at some dark hour of the night) felt revolted by what we have produced ? Be honest now" and you just forgot to put quotation marks and explain that this is one of the horrific comments parents like us hear daily?

you will forgive me for wondering why you would be so careless given the obviouse offence such a statement would make.

It is true that JOnkat has tried to bait me throught this thread.
i think i am seen as an easy target because of my work background.
it seems that as my DS only has Autism i cannot possibly know what JH went through.

this is true. I spent the first 5 years of his life not sleeping for more than 4 hours in every 24, often going for up to 72 hours without closing my eyes at all.
I sat and cried night after night.
I strapped him into his car seat, shut teh door then dropped to teh ground and sat crying in the middle of Tesco car park.

I would collect him from school each day early and from a seperate door in order to protect the Nt children's parents having to see him so as to prevent them getting a petition together to remove him.

feeling the agonising pain of an ectopic pregnancy tinged with relief as i was unsure how on earth i could cope with another child. and teh guilt that caused was immense.

It is very easy to judge a person from the few posts you see on one thread.
It is even easier to assume you know that person because you have an idea of their career path.

Sadly when you come onto a forum like MN and in particular the SN boards you realise that behind every screen name there is a story.
it may take you a while to leanr peoples stories, you may never really know the entire picture because people are fearfull of giving out too much information.
But i would suggest that before you make judgments of a person here you maybe research teh person's name (as Yurt did with Talies) in order to discover a little bit of the back story.

You can say the same about us and JH. we should look into her a little more before we judge.
I did.
My initial feeling was one of sympathy and pity, i felt so sorry for her to have had to reach a point where she could no longer cope with her daughter and had to have her placed in care.
It wasn't until i looked into this woman further i found that i really disliked teh way she spoke about her child.

I don;'t know JH or her partner. I am sure that they are very nice people. but i am afraid yes i do feel she has a part of her soul missing which enables her to speak of her daughter the way she does.
Thankfully Imogen will never need to know what her mother thinks of her, but sadly her sisters will.

Anyway, i am now rambling. this thread is long and cyclical.
I shall try very hard to make this my final post here.

Jonkat, Talies - if you wish to speak with me regarding my proffession or my knowledge of the Childrens act then by all means start a thread, in chat or legal, and i shall answer you there.

You can style yourself as satan if you want Taliesin. I don't see it that way myself. I am just a bit surprised that on such a sensitive topic as the JH book, on a established community board that's here to support parents with children with SN, you and jonkat still don't seem to understand why many people are wary of you.
Your postings are still quite gnomic and that's fine if that's how you prefer it, you don't have to tell us anything much about you (although I think other posters on here were well within their rights to wonder what brought you to this thread on this site). But you honestly cannot expect people to be warmly trusting of a new poster when so much of what he posts is so obscurely phrased.