Ds hasn’t had a very good start to his week at school, his teacher had to phone me when ds left.
He’s hurt staff both days, today trashed the classroom and hit some of the other children.
Ds was trying to force feed one of the children food at lunch, he wouldn’t stop trying to put food into her mouth despite his warnings so the staff were trying to stop him and remove him from the situation, and because of the commotion another boy who his teacher said is noise sensitive, ds had agitated him with all his screaming, ds knocked this boys lunch onto the floor so this boy who was already wound up jumped up and hit ds and then my ds lost the plot and trashed the place and that’s when he hurt the staff and other children.
He’s had a bad taxi ride back and they couldn’t throw him at me any quicker which is disappointing as they are usually fine regarding tricky times and don’t bat an eye but they looked like they’d had enough today. Just basically chucked ds and his bags at me said bad day don’t ask and drove off! Wtf.
Ds teacher said today that ds is a very tricky young man to work with, and even when things are going well for him on his ‘calmer’ days the staff are struggling because of how full on ds is and he’s having to be changed hands once an hour, more for the staffs benefit of a breather, and then when times are bad such as yesterday and today and any other day it goes to shit, he’s needing several members of staff to manage him and they have to call in the pastoral team to come down and all the support has to be directed at ds to get through whatever crisis. Usually a crisis which has arose from nowhere. So I said, ok that’s good to know that specialists are finding it difficult because it’s not just me struggling to manage him then. And he said the staff have all discussed before they don’t know how I manage him full time at home, they said they have training monthly and have years of experience working in specialist schools and they all find it difficult with ds. Honestly sounds daft but it makes me feel less of a shit parent to know that! Often wonder if I’m just rubbish at being an SEN parent and I’m burnt out or whatever because I sometimes feel so stressed and don’t know what I should do or even if I can continue doing it long term.
Can you imagine though, right ds ive had you an hour, now someone else has to have you for an hour because I need a breather 
I feel so sorry for ds today, he has come in from his taxi and he was shaking with his fingers in his ears I asked what happened, he wouldn’t let me take his fingers from his ears, I eventually managed to prise his hands off his head and he said the phone rang in the taxi (he HATES it) I said what happened next and he said they turned the phone off but he hit her (PA) loads of times, (not great ds) but it’s proper stressed him out as he was trembling inside the house, I could visibly see his legs shaking 
(just from somebody’s phone ringing) so that will explain the bad ride back.
He’s been anxious all afternoon checking with me every 5 seconds my phone isn’t going to ring (it’s on silent when he’s home)
Ahhh new day tomorrow ds! We can live in hope ðŸ˜