GOODBYE

[2shoes]

Last post on sn for me.
I asked for a thread to be deleted BEcause I care about the mums on sn.
I will not have this said to me or about me.

"You parents who asked this thread to be removed, you should be ashamed of yourselves. "
I will not apologise for caring about peoples feelings.

i dont recall the thread 2shoes is talking about, but i do have to say i thought mom2asd was merely asking if 2shoes had a sn child, and asking her to elaborate on her statement

I think after reading the other thread lou the whole tone just felt wrong to me

Agree, Justjam.

I appreciate that it's a highly emotive subject but it was uneccesarily aggressive imo.

i dont know what the other thread was, so i am just reading this one from a more distant pov maybe

i do have a sn kiddy btw, not that it really matters

I can see the argument for why someone would want to post links to this video to raise awareness of the situation in order to have it addressed, but by doing so you are making the link to that video available to more people. Yes by posting it on here you are making those with children with sn, and those who have strong opinions on the treatment of children with sn, aware of its existence, and giving them the ammunition to have it removed, but what you also have to bear in mind is who else you are making it available to. This is a public forum. Anyone can come on here and read any of the messages that are posted here, and reality is we have no idea who reads what on these boards. Mn has about 50000 posts a day, and that?s before we count those who simply lurk and never post. do you think that all of those posters are lovely, caring, compassionate people who would look at that video in disgust and take action? While most may be, I?d imagine some certainly are not. What you have to think about is that by spreading that video you are also spreading it to undesirables who would get a kick out of seeing it.

I think that just as you have the right to complain to utube about the video being there, other people have the right to complain to mn towers about the link to the video being here. Not everyone can bring themselves to watch that kind of thing, you don?t have to watch it to be disgusted by it.

The parents who asked for the thread to be removed do not need to feel ashamed any more than you need to feel ashamed for asking it to be removed from utube, and I think that by suggesting they ought to feel ashamed was extremely aggressive and uncalled for.

And no, I do not have a child with sn, but that does not make my opinion any more or less valid.

2shoes, you are a very valued poster to this and all the other boards on mn, you are as entitled to your opinion as anyone on here, and should never feel the need to leave because of the reactions of one poster.

Oh, 2shoes, don't feel this way! You know it doesn't make sense! I tend to agree. If it was my son on there, I would HATE for it to be linked to and for other people to see him being tormented. I know the link was done in good faith, but I deliberately didn't click on in and am very glad it has gone.

this is sad 2shoes i love your threads, especially at night when we need you to raise a few laughs you always do. You are clever and witty. please dont go.

I saw the thread and i didnt like the way it was going and i to asked for it to be deleted as it did not see any reason for the link, or the manner in which it was posted.

I didnt respond to earlier thread today because as some here have said op was in a way expressing thier views very loudly and im not going to debate why i did what i did.

The fact is that the thread generated enough response without getting too many upset. that was enough, a balance. But i did not see that it should remain.

Like justJAM although i do not have a child with SN that does not change the way i feel about all children and fairness to all. That goes to being fair and valuing other peoples rights.

2shoes. stay.

(sneaks back) I am only not posting on sn. omg leave mn because someone was shitty. never I am an addict.

you cheeky minx

i didnt see it, and am glad i didnt see it. its bad enough seeing dd2(4) tormented at school gates by kids dd1 age(7), without having to view other kids going through the same, if not worse.

i didnt see the original thread, am glad, but have seen the subsequent ones and they make mne feel v sad.

I saw the thread in question last night and commented that i thought it was terrible it was on youtube and the person who put it on youtube was awful, i cant remember the exact words i said. I come on mn today and see all this i didnt realise this would happen. Noone should feel they have to leave any section of mumsnet. Its a forum for everyone. Dont even think of leaving mn or even the special needs section 2shoes your as much a part of it as everyone else.

2shoes, don't leave SN threads. I always think you speak wise words, and they'll be poorer threads without you. Whilst I think both sides of this argument have valid points, its got too strident. Perhaps inevitably cos its an emotive issue....

2shoes I understand why you did it. Not sure what the rights and wrongs are here, I suspect both sides havea strong pint (mum2asd I have 2 asd I qualify).

2shoes we will miss you here on SN. Unlike mum2asd, you have offered me much support and help, especially over the alst few weeks. I take it mum2asd is a member of another support group who came here to raise awareness? And cause trouble at the same time? How sad

Dashed over from the other thread - I hope this isnt going to lead to another meltdown - 2shoes, hope you come back. I havent seen the clip and dont want to, ubfortunately I can imagine what it was like.

Surely we can discuss topics like this without watching what a lot of people would be viewing as entertainment?

All Ive herad on the news today is daniel Radcliffe's naked body and supercasino in Manchester, but if this being removed from youtube has made headlines, then a good thing.

2shoes, please don't leave these threads.

I am the parent of an autistic 6 year old who has to attend a mainstream school and so gets bullied each and every single day.
I would not have been able to watch that clip even if i had been here to see the link.

I understand completly why MMDDWW did post and i thank her for her obvious attempts to get the film removed and action taken against those who made and then posted the clip.
But (as stated on the other thread) i agree withthe action to remove the link. we don not need to add to youtubes rating and earn the owners of this clip anymore money (i assume this is how it works....i have never seen you tube) to know it is wrong and to have a desire to complain and getit removed.

I thank you 2Shoes for your action because after being told my son was pushed into a muddy puddle at lunchtime today and then laughed at when he started crying because he was dirty i really dont think i could have coped seeing such a film.

And mom2asd - i have no idea who you are but i would suggest if you wish to join a group of women whose sole purpose in being here is to support each other in the daily life of bringing up a child with a disability you should not attack a very valued and prominant poster. 2Shoes i hope you know how much we enjoy your posts and hearing about your 2 gorgeous children. sadly i also know that this is probably one moronic post too many on here and as such we may lose your imput...for a while at least.

i fear Mn will be a poorer place without you.

JimJams2 said: ""There's quite a big autism type group on youtube, I suspect enough people would have complained without it being on mumsnet. ""

JimJams2, It was not the complaints from the parents from youtube that got it removed nor would those complaints have been able to have it removd. It was the complaints of parents to the SCHOOL that got them removed. It took the school contacting and explaining that criminal charges were being taken to get it taken off.

And your post just confirms the fact that the americans take action and people on this forum don't. Lets just sit in our little corner and let other people do the work we should be doing.

Jimjams2
PS: I was not trying to be rude with my post. I would probably be considered on the spectrum had I been evaluated as a child but never was. So please don't take my last post personally. It was an in general post but did refer the first sentence toward your comment. Hope I didn't offend.

Re "And your post just confirms the fact that the americans take action and people on this forum don't. Lets just sit in our little corner and let other people do the work we should be doing".
I don't think that making assumptions or judgements about what people did or did not do with regard to this situation is helpful or productive.

TBH I don't reallly see the role of mumsnet as being to change the world. I don't really see the SN section of mumsnet as being a campaign group. I'm not sure its role is to take on the world (we don't even all have the same opinions- how could we, we're all dealing with different things).

Also having wirrten letters, badgered MPs, hassled councillers, complained, been angry from X for however many years I prefer to work now to change things at grass roots level. I find moaning and complaining and not actually doing anything energy sapping tbh.

The YouTube videos were removed as a reuslt of complaints in all sorts of different areas. I flagged it on YouTube (which they did say takes 24 hours to process), along with others, others contacted the NAS who complained - you can't say "the americans contacting the college" were wholly responsible. Anyway it was the middle of the day for them, half the people on here would have been in bed getting much needed sleep.

Now I could watch those videos and get horrified, but not upset, because it's removed from me. I know that my child with ASD will never have to endure that, so emotionally it's fairly easy for me to watch, register with You Tube, then hit the "report this video" button. (amd I don't think you could complain without seeing the videos - they started playing automatically). Had it been showing something closer to home for us, I have no idea whether I could have brought myself to watch it. It's not fair to judge people as being in some way encouraging of this behaviour because they don't want to watch it. If it had been my son I would have wanted every link to it everywhere removed. I wouldn't even have wanted sympathetic viewers (which was one reaons why I watched 2 clips and decided that was enough to complain- I didn't need to see the boy being repeatedly humiliated). It was not comfortable viewing.

Anyway the good news is it's gone, I hope the boys concerned have learned something about why it was so inappropriate. They may need to grow up a bit first though.

group hug?

aww 2shoes don't go!
mom2asd... while i applaud you wanting to bring the issue to peoples attention.i couldn't watch the clip..and i agree with others..it didn't need to be linked to.If that means i have my head in the sand then so be it.

So now the issue of this particular incident is getting all caught up in one individual's wish to leave this forum??

Group hugs?? I mean, for gods sake people are you all that thin skinned??

I believe comments have been taken out of context and some people are now looking for "sympathy" based on an issue surrounding bullying?

The issue of bullying is exceptionally personal, but talking about it and the wishes of parents for OTHER parents to not stand by and let it continue is PERSONAL too.

I could come on here and cry the blues about the comments made to me in the past on this forum, but why bother, i am never going to meet any of you.

What was so incredibly "hurtful" that was said anyway? Did you lose sleep over it??
I lost sleep over the fact that young man's face was plastered on the internet, and continued to be plastered on the internet and lost sleep over thinking about what he must have been going through once his classmates watched the videos and then came to school the next day and taunted him even more.

sheesh people grow up already

You are so incredibly rude and unpleasant sometimes, you really are. But then as the scum parent of a child with Aspergers, what would you expect, eh?