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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

GOODBYE

207 replies

2shoes · 30/01/2007 17:17

Last post on sn for me.
I asked for a thread to be deleted BEcause I care about the mums on sn.
I will not have this said to me or about me.

"You parents who asked this thread to be removed, you should be ashamed of yourselves. "
I will not apologise for caring about peoples feelings.

OP posts:
mom2asd · 30/01/2007 17:27

Are you the parent of a special needs child?

What feelings were you trying to protect? I guess I do not understand your view on this.

A child with a disability was harassed.

Awareness was being spread so that this can hopefully be prevented in the future with ones own child.

People became aware of these videos and came together to get them removed from the internet. This action is what is protecting the parents of the child, not having the thread removed.

coppertop · 30/01/2007 17:28

You have nothing to apologise for 2shoes. xxx

Mercy · 30/01/2007 17:33

2shoes

mom2asd, yes 2shoes does have a child with SN.

Flamesparrow · 30/01/2007 17:33

I replied on the other thread. I can see exactly where you were coming from

SpookyMadMummy · 30/01/2007 17:36

Mom2asd.. and yes I have an asd child too... before I am asked.
What right do you have to ask the people posting whether they meet the SN 'criteria' ie having an SN child? there are people on here who care about SN children either knowing them, related to them or working with them who use the SN boards.
Please do not question anybodys credentials to post.

SpookyMadMummy · 30/01/2007 17:37

oh and 2 shoes... will be sorry if you stop using these boards,... everyone counts

coppertop · 30/01/2007 17:39

I completely agree, Spooky. Having a child with SN is not a requirement for posting on SN.

Flamesparrow · 30/01/2007 17:40

No, I haven't a SN child (or, I may have, dunno yet... change my mind daily!), but surprisingly enough, I still care and have an opinion!

Tiggiwinkle · 30/01/2007 17:44

mom2asd-How dare you come on here and question a regular posters right to post on special needs. It is strange that you have just started posting today...

mom2asd · 30/01/2007 17:45

Did I say you had to be a special needs parent to post on here? NOOOOOOO

I am trying to understand your view on your reasoning for asking the thread to be removed. The view of someone who has a special needs child, the view of a friend with a special needs child etc.

I now see your view was as a parent of a special needs child, but I do not understand you reason which you stated was "b/c you care about mums of SN kids".

Not trying to be sarcastic. I just don't understand.

The reason the videos were removed was b/c of parents of SN children and people who saw the videos and emailed the college asking them to be removed. If it were never posted then no one would have known the extent of what happened and many people may not have taken action to have them removed. The article clearly says that the reason they were removed was b/c people who saw it emailed the college.

mom2asd · 30/01/2007 17:46

Yes I usually linger on here but this post grabbed my attention.

Flamesparrow · 30/01/2007 17:51

The video itself did not need linking to and viewing by all on here - one person to see, tell the contents, who to contact etc was all that was needed, and that (I think) was why it was removed.

SpookyMadMummy · 30/01/2007 17:52

If you read your post mom2asd, your first question was "are you the parent of a special needs child?"
On these boards just asking that can be enough to get alot of backs up. MN is a PUBLIC place and no poster has the right, as I said before, to question credentials of other posters.

mom2asd · 30/01/2007 18:13

"The video itself did not need linking to and viewing by all on here - one person to see, tell the contents, who to contact etc was all that was needed, and that (I think) was why it was removed."

Thank you for explaining. I did not see it that way. Had no one ever linked the videos either here or on other forums no one would have ever had the chance to know what happened, who did it, where the college was, etc. Had no one knew those things the videos would still be up and running as we speak. Thankfully people did see the videos and recognize it was at Poole college and reported it. Regardless of someone thinking the videos shouldn't have been posted, without them being posted there would be no info to post about it. No one would have seen it.

"""If you read your post mom2asd, your first question was "are you the parent of a special needs child?" """
You will have to forgive me of the way I word things. I did not mean to offend her in asking. I explained my reasoning below.

stleger · 30/01/2007 18:14

2shoes, aw no! I need to hear about your ds, he is my hero. I think the way he sticks up for his sister is brilliant.

Jimjams2 · 30/01/2007 19:30

I don't think that the video needed to be linked to on mumsnet for it to be removed. There's quite a big autism type group on youtube, I suspect enough people would have complained without it being on mumsnet. Personally I'm glad the videos were linked to, as I wouldn't have known about their existence, but if people are upset by it then I'm not going to demand the thread stays. In the same way I didn't show my dh (knew he would find it upsetting, and would really hate to see it). I told him about it, that was enough for him. I don't think he cares any less than me, I don't think he needs to feel ashamed, we're just different people.

This isn't censorship or an infringement of free speech, it's just mumsnet making a decision that as far as I can see could have gone either way. Grey areas and all that.

FioFio · 30/01/2007 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Socci · 30/01/2007 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jenk1 · 30/01/2007 19:58

2shoes, dont go, have a break for a few days but come back.

mamadadawahwah · 30/01/2007 20:11

Well, no thanks to mumsnet HQ, it was parents who stepped in, parents who probably have never heard of mumsnet (this whole thing was discovered by an american parent). Then the link was sent to a yahoo site where parents who are very politically aware, took action.

Had the website this person posted it on, taken the same action and deleted the link, the video might still be running.

I should add that my phone call to the Dorset newspaper who wrote the story, was the first one they had received about the story, this was almost 2 days after the videos had been shown. I had expected that he would have been inundated by then, but nope, hadnt heard of it. He was shocked by the whole thing. My phone call to the BBC London was also the first they had heard of it.

Americans in general arent aware of our local media and they contacted the department of education and the anti bullying campaign, but not the media.

Had the media not been informed by parents, this incident may well have been "swept" under the rug, nice and quiet. The aftershock of this incident should send a clear message to bullies, at least to the bullies at this school and hopefully will garner more awareness about what our kids face in the schools. I know that the next time my boys school talks about bullying i will be bringing up this incident.

Greensleeves · 30/01/2007 20:19

I couldn't watch it. I've seen this sort of bullying too many times first hand when my brother and I (rather ludicrously IMO) attended he same mainstream primary school. I know the kids in the video were much older, but I imagine the thrust was much the same.

I can see both sides of this and I think it's inevitable feelings run high on both sides. There are always going to be people who think this sort of thing should be seen, in order for it to be shamed and eradicated, and there will always be people who think that every new person who watches it is another victory for the bastards who perpetrated it. I'm not sure which side I'm on. I didn't watch it, but that was because I didn't want to - whether I was morally motivated or just being self-protective in that decision I don't know tbh.

I think it's a crying shame if anyone feels they need to leave MN over it though. I advise against doing something in (understandable) anger/upset that you might regret later.

Jimjams2 · 30/01/2007 21:04

Yes Greensleeves I agree- I can see both sides of that arguement. Also think both are valid, wlthugh they might appear to be exclusive. They're actually both true. I'm also aware that when I watched it I knew that ds1 will never be exposed to this sort of thing because he'll never be left alone with NT people. I might however have been unable to watch something showing abuses to autistic adults in care homes because it would have been too close to home. It is easier to watch something horrific if you are removed from it.

anniebear · 30/01/2007 21:06

How sad

The SN section of Mumsnet has always been so lovely and rarely any trouble on it

It's a shame that a few who aren't regulars seem to have caused a bit of upset (not saying that was intentional of course before I get jumped on lol )

Its a shame you feel you can't post anymore 2shoes

TeeCee · 30/01/2007 21:08

I don't know what any of you are talking about but 2shoes, I hope you don'teave for good, I really do.

justJAM · 30/01/2007 21:19

Before I get asked no I haven't got a child with SN mom.....but I have to say the tone of some new posters to regular ones has astonished me. To be fair it's nothing to do with new/regular posters it's the fact the posts are full of venom and spite
Maybe you should look in the mirror before you post threads on bullying.
It's not like me to get post in this way but I feel very strongly...2shoes has done nothing wrong and who is anyone to make assumptions on her feelings/experiences.