Can somebody please catch a train down and see me for a real hug :(

[coff33pot]

I need a real body. I am heartbroken and destroyed.

Dd had a dermatologist appointment this week. She has badly scarring acne and needs the vitamin A based medication. As it has side effects only a dermatologist can prescribe it. Its main effect in on unborn babies where it nearly always caused severe problems. So DD had to have a pregnancy test and sign a form to say she wasn't pregnant and wouldn't become pregant while on the drug. Dd is 12 and while quite tall and physically 'developed' for her age she is still at the stage of thinking boys are horrible. I suppose I should be glad the consultant thought she didn't need to have monthly pregancy tests!

Anyway sorry for the hijack Coff. I hope you and DD are managing to hang in there.

I used to take that stuff NoHaud. Tell her that every time she brushes her teeth to also brush her lips and then apply Vaseline. Stops them cracking.

thanks for the tip. She hasn't started them yet as GP surgery couldn't manage to do a fasting blood test for a week.

thought you might like to keep an eye on this thread for ideas and the names of posters who have been through smilar

Thanks for that link star I just took a look at it and I really feel for her x

There is good and bad here.

To start with the good :)

the ED referral forms did turn up, TWO of them.
today letter with appointment for 10 days time in advance of the referral.

The pro plus, glucose, and my DDs determination means that though anxiety and tears she has not had any coke for 7 whole days!

She went bullimic in her eating due to her mind and body craving food this was a hellish point for her as she was disgusted with her lack of self control and nearly caused another breakdown. Fortunately a psych nurse finally phoned at the moment she was cracking. She has an extreme fear of being sick or catching tummy bugs that make you sick sp or was very traumatic for her.

We have discussed our families eating patterns and I encouraged dd to make a menu for is all to follow with set times and hid snacking foods to stop the gorging so of alone she has to prepare a healthy meal.

She has put on half a stone and although still terribly thin has lost that white pasty look :)

The bad is

Still very pissed off that I am having to take a gamble with her emotional well being

DD begged me for diet pills to suppress her eating as she hated being "fat" and didn't want to put on weight. So far I have managed to convince her that small healthy low fat meals are better how long for I don't know as every time she eats she is upset.

her actual father was an asshole. DD said could I tell him about the MRI and the anorexia only as he had txt and she wasn't up to speaking to him. I didn't get a reply back and so I txt him for her as she said maybe the message was too big for his phone. Said he hadn't received it so I txt it again. Still didn't reply but eventually came back with "oh yeah I got that one. Said he is concerned but there is nothing he can do about it but would like to speak to her sometime and maybe she come up shopping. SHOPPING!

More rejection for DD (a lot of her issues stem from this too) followed by my DH bring home a small fredo frog that he used to get her when she was small with a message of I love you. Told me he brought her up since she was 6 do she was his anyway not that dick heads.

We had a weak smile but I am waiting for the aftermath that will be brewing as although progressing I am fully aware it won't take much for her to self destruct.

BUT we are going forwards :) x

So, the services tactics appear to be to ignore people who need help to see how far their own family can get them?!

Well done to all of you, (and I'm a little bit in love with your DH)!!

yes I think that is their tactic right now. we run ourselves ragged which you are going to do because it's your child.

I have two things at the back of my mind which is yes at the moment I am trying to help in an amateurish way and I know she could take a step backwards very easily. Because I am not removing the root problem.

I have got her just over the border weight wise but that means that it is possible they won't then admit her as an inpatient to the ED clinic because she would be classed as in recovery so the multi support will go and she will be left with MH team to have chat sessions with but we been down that route and talking about what happened escalates her hatred of herself because an hour chat once a couple weeks is no good.

That leaves her with the constant battle of getting better solo or failing as she puts it and losing weight again.

I am no way doing a mums magic fix on this one. So it is good that her health is getting better but it is only a sticking plaster to the main issues.

Coff it is so good that there is some progress,even if not with the fundamental issues.
I know a little about being left to deal with problems well beyond me while the MH services shove things from pillar to post and how frustating and soul destroying it can be.

Of course you will keep support Dd in any way you can and you are doing a fantastic job. I just hope that the various services can get their acts together and that you hit on some good proffs. They do exist.

Meanwhile honking for you.