Can somebody please catch a train down and see me for a real hug :(

[coff33pot]

I need a real body. I am heartbroken and destroyed.

Hi coff33. You've made it to Monday. I hope the appointment brings your DD and all of you the help and support that is needed.
Hugs

thinking of you today coffee, hope the appointment is productive

shattered not a single phone call yet on mine or DDs phone. DD is sleeping on sofa her friend is on standby to come with her to support her too. They got till 12 before I go on warpath which will have to be done sitting in the car of course because if DD gets wind of me taking control she will panic that I have removed her choices.

So far this morning DS refused to leave dd for school till 10.30, my friends daughters baby just died at five days old, my sister is in tears as her friend has been given 3 months to live, and she has taken in a friend who has only been married 3month and her DH just Been arrested on a rape charge oh and I have sworn at a council man and thrown his clipboard over his head and into the street because he felt compelled to knock my door at stupid o clock to point out they don't have my electoral form that I did send back so could I read and sign the pink one. I was ok till he tries to tell me the IMPORTANCE of sending it in and I could be fined a grand if I don't comply........yes the rebel in me took over.

It's only Monday morning still perhaps I will have a quiet 4 days for the rest of the week :)

More hugs, coff33

And please try not to spread yourself too thin.

Coff, still here and reading. Keep going. One hour at a time.

It's all going wrong very wrong I need your advice because my head is going to burst and I am confused between right and wrong:(

addaction phoned have said she has appt 10.30 tomorrow morning.

I have been doing it wrong and she wants to talk to me too.

It stays the same she must not stop the coke it is dangerous for her and they are amazed I made her stop. I didn't she made her own choice for which I am proud. But she is more anxious and heading for depression.

GP was wrong addaction cannot prescribe Ritalin it is yet again another referral! So she will write WRITE! To them for apt and assessment.

Because I I have done it this way they are saying she needs to go to a detox unit in Devon she is now terrified and hates me. I am terrified as this is not the place she needs and being among addicts and that place will ruin the chances of her going into a ed clinic

Oh ffs coff how are you wrong? You were abandoned with a major serious issue with no support and you did the very best you could, better than me I'm sure to hold it together until you get some. In what world is that wrong? Shame on them.

And anyway, even I know enough to know that Stopping coke is bloody horrible but not dangerous in the way it is with alcohol. And she HAS made progress, no thanks to them. That is GOOD Coff. You have done well. Shame on them for suggesting otherwise and undermining your bloody incredible achievements.

Coff

Sometimes you have to take choice away and just do what feels right.

She's going to hate you whatever you do - it's safe to lash out at a parent.

Help, as you've joined, is not 'joined-up' and is pretty scarce at the best of times - so accpet whatever help may be available even if it doesn't seem the right sort of help, as it gets her 'into the system' and they are more likely to be able to get a priority referral to the right sort of help than you are.

I think the time has come to stop treating her with kid gloves and tell her she has to accept this help. Hard I know.

She is going to try and explain to me tomorrow that I should keep her on this poison till her ed referral and then they will deal with it as this is the least important. That they must help her anorexia first so that when she withdraws the trauma of learning to cope with the rape etc won't push her into self destruct mode.

and tell me I am wrong. That they all feel so sorry for her in me doing this as this only leaves detox centre because I am putting her in danger.

so basically I have to somewhere find the strength to poison her slowly whilst waiting for this crap system to get her a date. on top of that I have no money but I am expected to fund a 300 a week habit that could still kill her because it is helping her starve NOT party on!

right now this woman is going to need a body guard tomorrow this areas is too much and whatever I do it is wrong :(

they area king arrangements to send her to this detox place now incase I still don't agree. ALL they have to do us give her the Ritalin substitute to stop this and have the time to wait.

The hardest thing is I have it here as my sons meds .

At the detox centre they will have doctors. They'll take one look at her weight and refer her to the eating disorder therapy place.

TBH she needs in-patient care. You can't deal with this yourself.

Coff, is there any sort of support group/helpline in your area for family members whose loved ones have addiction issues? Maybe there is somewhere there who might know your local system/services and might know how best to work it for your DD.
Thinking about you both

no no family stuff till you have been assessed. I don't want her in Devon I don't want her to see and maybe remember what I ran from. She has never left me. Has gone on a holiday and came back next day and has been like that always so to sk to go to ed clinic is a huge step but a drug detox will finish her that is what I am scared of.

You're projecting your history onto her.

You don't have a lot of choices here. It boils down to continuing to feed her coke habit until the professionals get their ass in gear (and we all know how long that takes) or taling the detox option.

As I said, they'll take one look at her at the detox centre and realise she needs the other treatment. They simply wouldn't want the responsibility of having a severely anorexic person in their centre. It won't 'finish her off' at all.

I can understand why so are so protective of her however you should also be bloody angry at her too. Stealing and lying are not the inevitable outcome of a rape. I was told by a psychologist once that it's OK to show your anger. I'd be bloody angry at the mess you've now got to deal with.

Don't fund her coke. She's started this now. If they want her to have it THEY can fund it.

And your Ds' Ritalin thing, well, can't say I'm advising anything but caught between a rock and a hard place I can't see how her having that right now is any different from her having coke from a moral point of view and better from a legal and progress point of view. But I know nothing of the drug so would want to know a bit more first about dosage etc.

Codeine can also take the edge of things if you can get it. It's hard to get without paracetamol so make sure the paracetamol isn't taken in unsafe amounts.

This situation is really unsustainable now coff33pot.I am a nurse and have experience of ED's and I agree with wetaugust-she needs in-patient care for this.She has three huge issues going on here -mental health,eating disorder,drug use-you alone cannot help her to do this ! I would go back alone to the GP tomorrow(different one to last time if necessary) and bawl my bloody eyes out that you cannot cope/dd is dangerously ill etc and that she needs urgent admission to an ED unit.There is always an emergency bed in the ED units for cases such as this.Also as wetaugustpointed out,once she is in the system she will get quicker referrals for everything else. Maintaining the drug habit sounds nonsense to me- once in an ED unit they will automatically medicate her with a drug substitute I would have thought.The whole situation sounds ludicrous while a young girl is dangerously ill here-this is the bottom line ! You must make clear to the GP that your dd may die if she doesnt get help fast. Enough being passed from pillar to post!

Coff33 I really don't have anything more to add to the advice you've got here, but just wanted to send you my support and (((hugs))). You're doing so well so far in an unbelievably stressful situation - please do as others suggest and let others take some responsibility here - go back to GP and bawl. She has a serious eating disorder which needs professional input. It is too much for you to try and solve this alone. Thinking of you.

I can't give any advice but am sending thoughts and ((((hugs)))) to you.