EHCP process and dealing with EBSA for 2 children at the same time

[MumofMaskers]

I’m looking for advice from anyone who has gone through the EHCP process for two children at the same time, while managing their needs and EBSA. I thought I could handle it with one but now it's both and I am not equipped to deal.

They are both masking at school but struggling significantly at home. We are either in EBSA territory or heading there with both of them (DD7 is on reduced timetable since before Christmas, DS5 now struggling to do full days most days).

They have different presentations but both probably ASD/ADHD and sensory challenges. Both hold it together in school to some degree and then unravel at home. They have big feelings and have both expressed in different ways that they want to die or have tried to hurt themselves, which is very scary at their young ages. My son in particular is exhibiting unsafe behaviours and we had an incident which led to my daughter being harmed and needing to remove all sharp objects in our house a few weeks ago. I am exhausted and often the recipient of his aggression before we get out of the door in the morning.

At the moment I feel like I am juggling SEND paperwork, chasing a small school with a one-day-a-week SENCO, trying to evidence needs that aren’t always visible in class, managing reduced attendance, doing bits of home learning, and regulating two dysregulated children.

Because they aren’t “causing problems” in class, I don’t always feel taken seriously. There’s a constant undertone of “they seem fine here.” Meanwhile I’m picking them up after an hour some days and feeling like I’ve failed at basic parenting and schooling.

We applied for an ECHNA for my daughter before Xmas and had a meeting with the LA a while back, following refusal to assess. On hearing what is happening with my son they said we should start the EHCNA process for him too. I know this is probably right. But I can't get any time with the school to discuss a plan.

Has anyone navigated two EHCP processes at once? How did you manage the admin and advocacy without burning out completely? How did you evidence needs when your children masked in school? Did things get worse before they got better?

I also have moments where I think about home educating just to remove the daily trauma, but realistically I don’t think that’s sustainable for our family long-term, and I worry about losing access to support altogether.

I suppose I’m asking both for practical advice and some reassurance from people further down the line. How do you get through this phase without losing your mind?

Sorry this is long and rambling.

Apologies, I realise you are already appealing refusal to issue.

Yes, really exhausting! He totally got them both though and really listened as I told him absolutely everything I thought was relevant - but it is a lot going through all the history.

That's useful to know re EOTAS - we have appealed, but won't mention it - although if they see his report which we will submit as evidence, then they'll know that's what is recommended?

Yes, it’s not so relevant since you are appealing refusal to issue. It is more relevant when you afe earlier in the process. When I posted earlier, I forgot you were already appealing and saw it when I flicked back on to MN and saw your post about RTI.

Ah that makes sense. So when do you properly request EOTAS - once you have a draft EHCP? Where can you find more about how it works and what evidence is needed? I'm a little overwhelmed, although I know we don't need to do anything yet.

If/when SENDIST Order the LA to issue, with a few exceptions, the LA has 5 weeks to issue a draft and must finalise within 11 weeks of the Order.

When they issue the draft, you can make representations. No doubt about it, amendments will be required. Here, you can propose amendments and make a case for section I to remain blank, referencing your evidence for both.

The content of an EOTAS/EOTIS package should be set out in section F. Section F is provision to meet the needs in B. In turn, the content of B&F is based on the evidence.

So when you get the draft, you can go through the evidence with highlighters. Highlighting all special educational needs in one colour and all special educational provision in another. The former must be in B. All the latter must be in F. Every SEN must have corresponding SEP.

When building a package and responding to the draft, it can help to make a table. Needs from B/what your evidence shows should be in B even if it isn’t in the draft (it can help to break it down into the different areas of needs), provision from F or what provision needs to be included F even if it isn’t in the draft (and any provision that is not in F but is essential for the delivery of the provision in F), provider, cost (one-off/weekly/monthly/termly/yearly), outcome. If you are requesting a personal budget, you can also add a column for how each part of the PB will be paid (direct payments, third party arrangements, commissioned directly). Don’t worry if you aren’t sure about all the details at that point.

And make a list of any provision not in F but is necessary in order for the LA to fulfil their duties under s19.

It can also help to make a mock timetable. It doesn’t have to be 100% accurate. It doesn’t even have to be the finished version. If provision needs to be child-led/self-directed/flexible, that can still be accommodated in a timetable. If provision needs to be built up, you can still make a timetable. This enables you to show it is a considered, organised, reasonable and, importantly, viable plan. You can add references to the draft and evidence to support each provision on the timetable.

This helps so everyone can see the needs, what the provision will look like, how the provision will meet those needs, that there is some kind of future plan going forward beyond the past (too many people get bogged down in focusing on the past). Similar to how a school has an aims and ethos (and sometimes vision) statement, prospectus and SEN information report.

You aren’t responsible for organising provision and you can’t be forced to do it, but many parents find the above helpful. Many have to appeal to secure a comprehensive EOTAS/EOTIS package and the above can be helpful for an appeal, too.

The legal threshold for EOTAS/EOTIS is set out in section 61 of the Children and Families Act 2014. It is when it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school. There are lots of factors that are considered when looking at if it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school. It depends on the individual circumstances, so what evidence is needed to prove this also depends on the individual case.

When you get to that stage, you might find it helpful to read some of the case law about or involving EOTAS/EOTIS. There is a lot of it. For example, TM v Hounslow [2009] EWCA Civ 859 says individual circumstances need considering and part of that includes looking at:
“i. the child’s background and medical history;
ii. the particular educational needs of the child;
iii. the facilities that can be provided by a school;
iv. the facilities that could be provided other than in a school;
v. the comparative cost of the possible alternatives to the child’s educational provisions, either at school or elsewhere;
vi. the parents’ wishes (although they are not generally determinative); and
vii. any other particular circumstances that apply to a particular child”

Also, NN v Cheshire East Council (SEN) [2021] UKUT 220 (AAC), M v Hertfordshire CC [2019] UKUT 37 (AAC), Derbyshire CC v EM and DM [2019] UKUT 240 (AAC) and AA & BB v Bristol City Council [2023] UKUT 52 (AAC), LB Camden v
KT [2023] UKUT 225 (AAC), R (Moseley) v LB Haringey [2014] UKSC 56, R (JSH) v Westmorland and Furness Council [2024] EWHC, and East Riding of Yorkshire Council v Bowers (SEN) [2026] UKUT 31 (AAC).

A note on terminology. You will see both EOTAS and EOTIS used. You will also sometimes see a C on the end. In the past, EOTAS was the favoured term. Now, some judges at SENDIST have a bee in their bonnet about the vowel, which prompted a change with more using I. ‘In’ is used in section 61 of the Children and Families Act 2014. Whereas ‘At’ is used in the Education Act 1996. It doesn’t really matter, but if you have to appeal, use EOTIS because if you get one of those judges, you don’t want to needlessly annoy them.

IPSEA and SOSSEN have some information on their websites, and SOSSEN has a webinar. The Noddy guide covers some of the legislation and case law. Although there is at least one that I can remember off the top of my head that is more recent than the latest Noddy guide. Asking around locally for other EOTAS/EOTIS families will help. The law is the same in all LAs, but it can help with things like knowing about local APs because not all will be online.

I wouldn’t worry about all this yet, though.

I've now got the tribunal date to appeal my daughter's refusal to issue - early December 2027. I can't get my head around this, she will be 9 by then. Then we'll still have another battle after that, if they agree to issue that is.

Is there any reliable route to trying to get the LA to concede early? Still waiting for the private EP report which I'm hoping will help.

If she's out of education you can request that the tribunal be expedited which may help a bit. It's form SEN7 I think.

LAs sometimes concede. It isn’t rare that they do. However, there isn’t a guaranteed route to make them concede. Even when the case is strong with watertight indisputable evidence, sometimes LAs take it all the way. Sometimes when they concede they do so very close to the HD or even on the day.

It isn’t guaranteed to be agreed and will still be a wait, but you can request an earlier hearing on the basis DD is out of school. You can do this via a SEND7 but the wait to hear back is long at the moment.

Some hearings at the moment are being vacated because of a lack of court time. This has been happening for a while now and I don’t see it changing in the foreseeable future because SENDIST is overwhelmed, so there is the possibility the hearing won’t go ahead on the HD.

Wow, thanks for the clear answer but goodness. What a depressing state of affairs.

I would consider stopping EHE. The LA has less incentive to concede if you EHE.

And then what would we do? Say we can't EHE anymore but she's too unwell to go back on school roll?

Yes, inform the LA you are no longer EHE but DD is unable to attend school and therefore they need to arrange alternative provision to ensure she still receives a suitable full-time education as per section 19 of the Education Act 1996. They will push back on this, but you can persevere.

Not EHEing doesn’t mean you have to force DD to attend a school, but it does mean putting the responsibility back on the LA.

Yes I see what you mean - thanks, I will look into this.

Hi, I just thought I would come back to this thread with an update as things have moved on a bit and the advice I was given really helped as it prompted me going to a legal advice session - long story short, we took some action and today the LA have conceded and agreed to issue an EHCP for my daughter. Still lots to sort out, but this feels like a massive hurdle to clear. Should get a draft by mid September and will see how close it looks to what it needs to and what we might need to do to secure EOTAS. But progress made at last!

I'm pleased you're making progress!

Hurrah.

I don’t even really know what I’m asking any more. I think I just need to come back to this thread and say that I’m drowning.

A lot has happened since I originally posted. My daughter is finally getting an EHCP and this week we won the appeal for an EHC needs assessment for my son. So on paper I suppose we’ve made enormous progress.

But neither of my children is actually accessing an education.

My daughter has been out of school since April. She has 1.5 hours of private tutoring a week and I try to cobble together learning and activities around that, while we’re trying to get the provision recommended by her independent EP in place. This will mean a fight for EOTAS and the LA have now said they will put provision in place while we sort the EHCP.

My son's return to school for y1 has now fallen apart too. At the moment he is managing about 15–20 minutes on the school site with me physically staying with him, in a separate familiar room, with virtually no demands. He can’t separate from me. Today I couldn’t even leave him with his grandfather for an hour while I dealt with my daughter's ADHD assessment, despite him having been excited about going.

I just don’t understand how one person is supposed to do this.

I know the legal processes now. I know not to deregister this time, even though the school ignore my emails and calls and put me in an impossible situation. I know about s19 and ESMA and EBSNA and EHCPs and appeals. I’m doing all of it. We’ve instructed solicitors where necessary. We’ve got EPs and OT and Step2 and assessments and evidence coming out of our ears.

But none of that changes the fact that every morning I wake up with two school-aged children at home who both need significant individual support, and there is only one of me.

I can’t simultaneously educate one, help the other access school, regulate them both while trying to entertain or educate, deal with two sets of professionals and statutory processes, run the house, feed everybody and somehow remain a functioning person.

I think when I first posted I needed people to tell me that I could do this. And they were right, in some ways apparently I can. I’ve done things over the last six months I didn’t think I could do.

But I’m exhausted. I’m angry. I’m grieving the life we used to have and the ordinary family life I thought we’d have. I don't really have any friends left. Today I genuinely couldn’t face going downstairs and boiling pasta for dinner which no one will eat. I’m not unsafe. I’m just completely, utterly spent.

I don’t particularly need legal advice tonight. I think I just need to hear from anyone who has been in this stage, where the children aren’t in school, the statutory machinery moves at glacial speed, you’re doing everything you’re supposed to do, and nevertheless the whole family seems to be being held together by one completely exhausted parent. And every day you reach out to the school, the LA, the services, and it's just silence.

How did you survive this?

That sounds terribly difficult, @MumofMaskers. I haven't been in your position and I don't know what I'd do if I were, but the short visits to school for your son sound pointless and potentially harmful.

Take a breath. You can do this.

Can DH take some leave?

Do you think DS is well enough to attempt school? Not deregistering doesn’t mean forcing him to attend if he isn’t well enough to.

Do you know when interim provision for DD will start? Done properly, that should ease the burden slightly on you.

When pursuing support (be that EHCP related or otherwise), the thing that kept me going and still keeps me going is knowing that having the support in place helps. It is what DC need and it makes our lives easier. I know there is no way we could afford to fund even a small proportion of the support DC receive so there is no way we can disengage from ‘the system’.

There are a few other things that help. One being outsourcing things. We have a cleaner. Is there anything you can afford to outsource? Finding a group of parents with SEN who you get on with helps too. Be that IRL, online or both. We have a Goose and Carrot Pub support thread on SN Chat if you would like to join us.

@ExistingonCoffee thank you for your continued support, it means a lot. This is really helpful.

DH unfortunately isn’t in a position to take much leave/share more of the load at the moment - he has a pretty intense senior job and has had a significant additional workload land on him recently, so he’s fairly close to capacity himself to the point I'm actually worried about him as he has been spreading himself very thin to try and help at home.

I’m increasingly questioning whether DS is actually well enough to be attempting school at the moment. We’ve been trying very short, low-pressure visits (15–20 mins, with me staying with him in a familiar room), but there isn’t currently any proper SENCO-led support/reintegration plan around them, which is worrying me. Step2 have also said they think we need to get him out of fight/flight/freeze before increasing expectations around school. But no one, not the SENCO, the head, responds to anything I send so what do I do?

DD’s interim provision should eventually make a huge difference, but unfortunately nothing has started yet. We’ve just won/concluded the EHCP appeal and are waiting for the next stage, draft etc, so at the moment I’m still carrying almost all of her education myself.

We have outsourced where we can and I completely agree with the principle. We’ve actually had to make some difficult choices about what we can afford because we’re already privately funding quite a lot of SEND-related support/provision and trying to move house (our house is now too tiny for us all to be in it all day, which a few years ago we didn't anticipate), and there’s only so much money to go around. That’s also why I know disengaging from the system isn’t realistically an option - we could never privately replicate the level of provision they may both need.

And thank you for the invite to the support thread, I may well pop over. It would be nice to talk to people who understand this stuff without having to explain the whole situation from scratch!

If DS isn’t well enough to attend, inform the school via email. Just the same as you would if he wasn’t physically well enough to attend. The school should make a sickness return. And you can request alternative provision.

The interim provision for DD shouldn’t be linked to your appeal, the draft, etc. Section 19 provision is independent of that. If you haven’t already, chase that with the Director of Children’s Services. If you have done that already, you could look at a pre-action letter.

If you join us on the Pub thread, don’t feel you have to read the thread to date. Feel free to jump in wherever. Some post frequently, some pop in and out, some DC are in school and some aren’t. There’s a few of us who have DC with EOTAS and a few more who have experience of EOTAS in the past.

I will, I just never know when to call it that he isn't well enough to attend and if we should have tried harder. I do know deep down especially with all our history but he's literally managed one hour of year 1, but I think that was because of a lack of a plan in place - it was just far too much change. New classroom, new teacher to the school, half the classmates have changed. But he seems really anxious now, not even being able to go to the grandparents and see his beloved dogs is new.

Yes - we did PAP letter and that generated the action with my daughter's EHCP and now getting AP in place hopefully. I think the EHCP draft and the response we what they are doing for the interim are both due next week.

Thank you - being among people who understand this will be really helpful! Even with a lot of SEND parents I speak to, I feel like my children don't really have a lot in common with their situations.