Not been around for a while
I went well above target , so much so I thought I was going to split the seams of a pair of trousers :(
So what happened? I became too lax being target for so long. The bad habits crept in. My weigh in is Saturday at 8 am and then Saturday became my dont care day, but in a way I always did care enough not to go too mad, but over time I saw I was getting away with stuff. So the stuff became more
I love white bread, butter, crisps and Nutella I know I cant have these foods in the house - I seriously have no control. Like Im an alcoholic ( I mean I really am ) yet I can control the amount of alcohol I need to keep me functioning, yet those foods - not. White bread in this house - Im eating it - crisps or Nutella sandwiches, laden with butter and all in one sandwich if I so want.
So whilst SW say no food is off limits - they are for me. I can not have them near me
And Saturday treat is one white crusty roll from lidl, cheese and ham or whatever and a big bag of crisps shoved in
Ive been doing that for 2 years and getting away with it cos its my only off plan meal
Then its been oh sod it - Chinese
Then its been a Jaffa cake won't hurt - which it won't, only its been a packet or two a week
And I have to keep syns for alcohol .....
So I went up 7lb above target in a couple of weeks.
Thought Id get it off in a week or two - nope, didn't work and the trousers got hidden :(
So I paid a 6 week countdown and buckled down
Im at the moment top of target with just tomorrow paid for so I need to be under top
Losing I find is pretty easy - slow - but I know Im wanting to lose so I work with it. Maintaining - different kettle of fish. I say to myself - sure Ive been good all day - why not?
Only the why nots start becoming too frequent - for me - Im just above 5ft, I dont have many calories to play with - and I have to include my alcohol in those calories
Only thing I can say is, I need to go weekly and remind myself why I want/need to keep the weight down
My grandaughter said to me yesterday - ' no one is looking at you" when I said I wasnt taking an ice cream , and I had to think about it for a minute. I know my weight doesn't matter to anyone, but it's not the weight so much. It's the trying to be healthy that really is so important to me now . Ive been trying for a GP appointment for the past month, in the end I rang today and said anyone, nurse or gp, any time, and I got told to try Monday when they release appointments for August !!!!. I dont have great health and Im scared that unless I take action myself - weight and fitness - its going to get worse and no access to medical care