All of you - even 100 and others - thanks so much for this thread. Will try some of the things here - had been thinking about shortening naps.
DD is 2.10 and we have always co-slept - like the babywearing I fell into it through laziness/just feeling that the routines I'd imagined for my child were not going to be possible.
At the moment I am going through a bit of a bad patch - there was a great bit last year when it was down to 2-3 feeds in the night (I always feed her to sleep), and I even did a bit of cuddling instead. The other night I was just feeling knackered and said "no - snuggles are asleep" to be met by tremendous wailing. Felt awful, but felt had to not give in instantly! So held out for all of 10 minutes! and last night the same. I think I shall give up on that one for now. At the moment we are desperately trying to get her bedtime back to normal (9pm with me) after the Christmas hiatus - it's improving but slowly (10.30ish last night) so I am a bit knackered, also finding it harder to fall back to sleep in the night - hence the refusals.
I and DP would like her to go to sleep at least in her own bed and at a more 'normal' time so to have a bit of time to ourselves (though feel conflicted about that - we've managed so far! and will I just spend the time listening to the monitor? and cos dp cooks our evening meal is at no set time and often quite late so how to fit in round that?) and will try to do that when she is 3, so I feel I should night wean, but at the moment the routine is to pot so need to sort that out, and probably she just isn't ready.
Will get the Pantley book - found the first one helpful but not dramatically so. Though I cried when I read it because nobody else I knew had a 5 mo that woke up every hour! I found accepting the situation was the catalyst that meant I could go on. And (eventually it did improve.
A long post all about me and my unclear thinking - sorry.
But I am SO glad I co-slept - she's fantastic - just a c* sleeper!