Aibu - co-sleeping older kids

[roisin18]

Hi everyone.

Looking to work out if if I'm being unreasonable.

So... my husband was night shift last night (he does nightshift approx once every 3 weeks). When he is nightshift I let my 2 kids sleep in beside me. (9&5) He really hates it and moans every time as 1) he wants to go to bed when he gets in but there's no space, and 2) he thinks it's weird to sleep with them at that age.

So to save the argument I've started sleeping in the spare bed with them on those nights so he can come in and have our bed to himself. But yesterday I had just changed the sheets and they kids had fallen asleep in my bed so I just climbed in. This morning he came in at 6.30 (we get up at 7.15) so we all had to get up.

He is making out that sleeping in the same bed at that age is making them too codependent etc, but I just think it's nice to cuddle in together every now and again.

I think he is being a complete twat. But willing to be told I'm wrong.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Could he not sleep in the spare room? Why does everything revolve around what he wants versus three people who are warm and snuggly asleep?

Because he’s been working all night and it’s his bed.

@roisin18

Thanks everyone for your answers. It has been really interesting reading them all and seeing different peoples perspectives and priorities.

DH and I spoke about it last night. He admitted that he'd had a tricky night at work and was particularly grumpy by the time he got in. I apologised for notbeing considerate of the fact that he wanted to go straight to bed. We established however, that even if I was sleeping in the spare bed he would have been irritated as he doesn't agree with older kids sleeping in the same bed as their parents. This will always be a difference in opinions. So I will continue to allow the kids to sleep in the same bed as me sometimes if they want to, but I will always do it in the spare bed. This will probably continue to annoy him, but at least he can go straight to sleep in his own bed and wake up in a better mood!

That's good, sounds like a perfect compromise

So, I've got another hypothetical question... he wants to come in and go straight to bed. If the question had been "my husband comes in from work and goes straight to bed and never helps me with the kids in the morning - should he stay up and get the kids ready sometimes?" would everyone still be saying he should get to come in and go straight to bed? Or would you expect him to stay up and help with the kids sometimes or would you say it's my job as the non-nightshift worker?

Yes of course. I work nightshifts too and my husband wouldn't expect me to come home and start getting our son ready for the day. I come home exhausted and just need to crawl straight under the covers.