Co sleeping madness

[Jomaj]

Am I the only person who doesn't want to co-sleep with my daughter? I love her so much, I would do anything for her and that includes giving her a SAFE place to sleep. Everyone who I ask advice about sleep says "Oh have you tried co-sleeping?" I cannot sleep with my baby in bed with me, I would feel terrible if myself or my husband were to roll onto her or pull the covers over her head without realising. If she is sleeping in my bed then I am wide awake making sure she's ok so it's more just babe asleep in my bed than co-sleeping. Everyone says "just follow the guidelines" but I'm yet to find guidelines by the NHS, in fact they strongly advise against it!
Is it just me who thinks this way?
Btw I am not against other people co-sleeping if it works for you and it doesn't fill you with anxiety then fair enough I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there like me who just doesnt want to do it?

Flatwhite32 what is the point in saying that? It's not like even if I wanted to report you I have your details. I said it's cruel if you force it, if your baby hates sleeping anywhere other than a cot then your baby is a rarity.

It’s worth noting that SIDS is different to suffocation as I understand it.

Yes, SIDS and ASSB (Accidental Suffocation and Strangulation in Bed) get classified differently. Carpenter's research only looked at SIDS.

One of possible explanations is that cosleeping babies (similarly to babies sleeping in separate rooms) sleep better and therefore spend more time in deep sleep (which poses risk for SIDS).

However the risk is still extremely low and our lives are not entirely risk-free to start with (we drive, we cross roads, etc). We will never be able to fully eliminate all risks - just to minimise them.

I only do it as a last resort, and I didn’t feel at all comfortable doing it until DD was about 4 months. I would wake up (and still do) searching for her in panic, grabbing pillows when she’s actually asleep in the other room.

When we do. I kick my husband out so we have the whole king size bed. She’s in her sleeping bag, I have no loose covers and we breastfeed. I’ve also got a guard rail for the bed now as she rolls a lot.

I think it’s better to plan it than to be so exhausted that you fall asleep in unsafe sleeping arrangements. It is scary though, but so is everything when you have a baby- weaning/ crawling/ leaving the house!

@Frostymorning13 it's definitely not forced! She stopped sleeping on us at just shy of 4 months and hasn't done so since.

Cant buy that this wasnt a goady thread. Also lolling at the people that haven't yet had babies saying they won't. You never know!

Of course it was a goady thread. More fool me for getting sucked in.
People are always going to quite rightly defend their way of parenting if someone is calling it madness.

Keeping my baby close at all times and breastfeeding work for us but I wouldn’t start a thread bashing a less ‘attached’ style of parenting. The only thing I would judge is if a parent left a baby to cry it out as that seems callous and cruel whichever way you dress it up. I don’t think people actually leave their babies to cry in this day and age anyway.

Lunaij you would be surprised.

I think I can understand where the OP was coming from originally, it seems like she was just asking a general question that could have just been debated quite simply, she has become defensive in her subsequent comments as she did get attacked a little bit.

I can honestly see it from both sides, I'm a co sleeper, I didn't with my first as she was amazing, but my 2nd? Dear god that little guy just wants to be with his mummy all day and ALL night! And im ok with that little chubster cuddling. Of course we try and be as safe as possible but the reality is it doesn't seem to matter what you do with your baby there have been cases of SIDS in all areas, babies in cots, babies who co sleep, babies that are too hot, babies that are too cold, baby's that have a dummy and babies that don't!

Lunaij I do feel your last comment was a bit unnecessary and kinda what the OP was getting at I think? You have said not to judge and that the OP was being goady but in the next sentence said you do judge some methods of getting babies to sleep? I believe CIO is still used in this day and age and for some patents seems quite effective. Just because you or I wouldn't do it doesn't mean you get to judge it!

OP in answer to your original question, I know a few people who chose not to do it simply because they didn't want to. Even though some of their babies were terrible sleepers, I do also know a lot of parents in my baby group who co sleep and one of them doesn't breast feed. As others have pointed out, everyone is different! You just do what's good for you and don't listen to anyone else!

Lunaij I wouldn’t do it myself but I know a lot of people who have actually been recommended it by health visitors. I think it depends on the length of time and circumstances.

As parents we all just have to do what we can to get through the day.

I understand what you mean. We all want to come across as non judgemental but I think we all have some things we can’t help but judge. To be clear I absolutely do not judge worn out parents practicing controlled crying. It’s not for me but I do understand it. I was talking about the practice of to
Leaving a baby to cry it out. As in letting a baby cry till they pass out with exhaustion and fear. I judge that as I judge parents that smack.

Ugh I could not roll my eyes more at this post 🙄