People on here hate the fact that some people don't want to endanger their child by co sleeping
Come on. You don't think that you're being rude, inflammatory, goady, judgemental?? It's extremely hypocritical to start a thread about how people judge parents who co-sleep (which I can't actually say I've ever seen on here) and then come out with that shit ^
People don't co-sleep because they think it's dangerous but they just go "fuck it" and do it anyway. You don't love your kids more than other people love theirs. They do so because there is research that shows it's the safest way to sleep. There is also research which indicates the opposite, and clearly that's the evidence that has struck a chord with you. That's parenting. We all look at the research available and we reach our own conclusions.
For what it's worth, lots of the research to show that co-sleeping is dangerous is based on a pretty sketchy definition of what co-sleeping actually is. For example, many studies consider co-sleeping to be any situation where an adult and a child share a sleeping surface. This could be an armchair or sofa, not just a bed. Some studies include instances where the adult was under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or where the adult is a smoker. Some studies include instances where the co-sleeping was "accidental", for example an exhausted parent falling asleep in a chair in front of the TV with the baby on their lap. Clearly none of these are examples of safe co-sleeping, and yet they form part of the "co-sleeping is dangerous" narrative. It's similar IMO to reading about a drink driver wrapping their car around a tree at 70mph, or someone suffering a siezure at the wheel and crashing, and then declaring that driving is "madness" (to use your word) and nobody should do it.
The reason that the NHS guidelines advise against the practice of co-sleeping is probably because they are nannying us and we can't be trusted to use common sense, therefore it's easier for them to take a hard-line than to expend resources in teaching people how to do it safely.
There is evidence that countries where co-sleeping is the cultural norm (SE Asia for example) have some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world and that these communities bring the low SIDS rates with them when they move to countries like the UK.
Co-sleeping is safe when the baby is sleeping next to a breastfeeding mother (not any other adult), all pillows and loose covers are removed from the vicinity of the baby, the baby is not in a room with any adult who smokes, no adult who has been drinking or taking drugs is in the bed, the baby's face is level with the mother's chest and she is curled around in a C shape (arm above the baby's head, legs curled underneath the baby's feet) etc.
Basically, it's absolutely fine for you to choose not to co-sleep. It's fine if you follow the NHS guidelines. We all do what we think is best. What's not OK is for you to accuse co-sleeping mothers of deliberately endangering the lives of their babies and insinuating that you are a better mother because you made a different choice. None of that is OK and I find it extremely hard to believe that anyone on MN has been as rude about your choices as you have been about the choices of other mothers on this thread.