The great non-sleepers - the sequel

[Jellybean2017]

New thread!

Thanks Jellybean! As with every new thread, I hope this is the last one I’ll be on. But after last night’s shenanigans, I doubt it!

Thank you @Jellybean2017

Our plans this evening are to go to our friends birthday gathering (too old to have parties, so we gather). As this is something we have done forever my parents are looking after DD for the evening to give us a chance to spend time together. We will back by 10 though.

Thanks for creating a new one Jellybean2017

Hello guys. Thank you all for your replies on the last thread. It is good to know it's not just me who's not living the dream here. Of course I do post stuff online about how cute my LO is and how proud I am of his progress etc so I'm a way I'm part of the "problem" of dishonesty - but I often do mention that he's not slept well - "woke up every hour last night but look at him go!" sort of thing.

I've got one friend BFding and one Ffding. The BF baby feeds 3x a night for half an hour and generally sleeps the rest of the time, the Ffed one feed 1-2 times but regularly wakes up and stays awake for ages.

I found some niceish bras in Mothercare whoate. The ones in Markies were beyond revolting!

Separate beds is the only way we cope Jellybean. We've shared about four times since he was born!

When people ask me if my LO is good or sleeping well I used to be able to say 'yes' most of the time. Now I say 'sometimes' or 'not really' or 'depends which day you're asking me about'. I'd love to start yoga again but I'm not sure I could physically manage as my tailbone is still agony so much so I can hardly sit down sometimes.

Breastfeeding is incredibly claustrophobic ven or at least it is for me.
He's only feeding around 6x a day for a total of 2 hours but it's that never being off duty feeling. It's the always being me who has to drop what I'm doing to feed him. And currently it's not being able to do anything (look at phone, concentrate on tv, eat) while feeding during the day as every feed is a fight. He screams for it then is on and off every ten seconds. But I'm determined to do the exclusive to 6m thing. And probably carry on to some extent beyond that but god knows why!!

Loved your cat picture on last thread meepmoop (think it was you!) thats the sort of thing my cats would do!

agree marks bras are not nice! Debenhams seemed to have some that were sort of ok. but totally agree. how hard is it to make nice normal bras that clip down for feeding.

I try to he honest about my nights but do also slip into the 'yeah he sleeps ok' when people ask but it's great to hear the honesty on hear and make me feel.not so alone

Found you all! Nice on Jellybean.

For any newbies who've joined us (welcome to the club no one wants to be in) I have DS 8 weeks and DD 2.5.

With DD I used to post ALL the time on Facebook about how utterly knackered I was. When I see my 'on this day' memories from that period it makes me wince! I was very honest. But actually it helped, because I got lots of support from others who'd been through it - I received the loveliest message of support and kindness from an old school friend I haven't seen in decades. It made me cry.

So I'm sitting in soft play, DS napping in his sling as DD and DH run around. I've had a luke warm 'cappuccino' (what passes for one), I'm posting on Mumsnet and ogling the hot dads Oh and I look a wreck as there was no time for hair drying or make up. Have I reached peak motherhood??

Made it! Hear what your saying about bras....minging. And breast pads too. Has anyone mastered how to flop bra down, feed and return the pad so its still in some shape? I end up looking like I've got a carton of eggs down my top.....makes me resort to wearing big baggy tops to hide it

Hello! Thanks for setting up the new thread.
We have no plans for tonight, other than to eat roast duck. Seriously, that's it. It's an odd tradition but it's just our thing. I need to get out of the house but dh and I are stalling and we don't have much energy between us. Dd is taking advantage of the situations getting out every toy she owns to play with.

It's time we went out. Got some fresh air. Stop procrastinating.

Have a great NYE everyone! This time last year, I found out I was pregnant and so we always knew 2017 would be eventful. Dd was a dreadful sleeper, so we can't say we didn't know what we were letting ourselves in for, although I was rather hoping this one would be different!

not mastered the bra flop breast pad combo either. I tend to sort of try to flop my boob out over the top of it so the bra doesn't get in the way but then that does increase the risk or being full on exposed.

I also feel my expectations of what's a good night have totally changed. I find myself answering the question of does he sleep well positively if I manage 5 hours of broken sleep. pre baby that would have been an awful night

I think sometimes people create these dreamy social media narratives that they desperately want to believe in - if everyone else is convinced everything is running smoothly for them, it's the affirmation they get that they are a good parent after all. Because to admit you're struggling somehow means soliciting all sorts of opinions on what you're doing wrong and what you should be doing instead, making you feel even more shit. And being pitied is like a confirmation you're unsuccessful and weak. I thinks it's sad people are made to feel this way. Struggling doesn't mean you're a bad parent at all. It's just that you can't. Control. A baby. You can be blessed with a relatively easy baby, you can be lucky enough to get the timing right for some parenting decisions. But taking most of the credit for it is delusional, I think. And ultimately hurts you and those around you.

@Jellybabie3 When you find out how to do that do let me know! Ugh scrunched up pads are the worst. They look bad, feel uncomfortable and don't do their job so you still get leaky boobs.

Regarding bras, I find soft sleeping wrap bras the best. I hate those that you have to unclip, especially if they're padded - I can never roll the cup down completely so it gets in DS's way and gets all wet from his dribbling, and the plastic clip almost poked him in the eye once. With wrap bras you can just pull the cup aside and it all works much better.

Lol yes my DH asked how the night went today and I answered 'well we were awake from 130 till 4 but it was actually not too bad' and he couldn't get how that was a good night 😁 bit scary though, I think DS went down in his cot from 4am...but I woke at 8 and he was on my chest! Only a blurry recollection of him waking...

Know what you mean about getting out Hashtag. I find a full day in the house more intimidating than going out because the toddler needs entertaining. It's foul weather here though so soft play it is. DD is happy and it means she will nap so that's all to the good. This afternoon we are planning to watch a film with DD and snuggle on the sofa. Looking forward to it.

@Ven83 thank you so much for your last post on the previous thread - I gave it to DH to read because you explained so well exactly how I'm feeling!

Our little one is 4 weeks, she'll only sleep in bed with me, and she has trouble with wind and will only stay asleep some nights if I'm constantly jiggling her so although she technically only wakes for 2 feeds after midnight, I still don't really get any sleep

So we've just booked DD's 3rd birthday party...in June 😂 well best to be organised I guess!

I also find reading helpful books unhelpful. I keep thinking i should have ds at a certain point and feel like i failure when i dont which ultimately results in me posting a thread on mumsnet in desperation to realise i am in the same boat as everyone else. who writes these books?? And why do i still read them.....

Dd is wired. I'm looking forward to Thursday when she starts back at school.

Made it ;)

DD's poo i bad again...going to see a paediatrician privately on Tuesday and she's due to see a gastroenterologist in the UK in 3 weeks. Really need some answers. Sick of seeing mucous and blood in her nappies. She should have been referred ages ago.

I'm trying something new, I've just bought DD a second hand baby swing from the market place on Facebook. Hopefully this will convince her to sleep during the day and has only cost me £10.

I would love to wear her in a sling because I think she would like it but we have been told by our physio that a sling is an absolute no no because of her hip dysplasia.

I wear washable breastpads but even when I use disposables I don't stick them down so when I feed I whip the pad out and stick it down somewhere, whether that's a table in Starbucks or my own sofa. Probably a bit of a social faux pas but oh well!

We have friends over this evening. I'm in the hallway with DS in the sling trying to get him to sleep while DH entertains our guests 🙈 I also just had a cup of tea. Rock and roll lifestyle here haha!

Jellybean2017 your doing better than me.
DH is asleep on the sofa and DS is sleeping in his bouncy chair with me bouncing. If I stop he wakes so I can't get any refreshments.

For some reason I thought it would be a great idea to host both our families tomorrow so around 18 people. I've currently got meat cooking in the oven for the buffet. Hope someone (DH) wakes soon

It's 100% my idea as well....

Re: nursing bras I really recommend Emma Jane ones - super comfy and stretchy so they accommodate boob size fluctuations!

I've stopped bothering with breast pads because they annoyed me too much, I don't seem to leak much these days anyway.

DS is asleep on my chest. I can't decide whether to attempt a transfer..,

Fuck the jokers who are setting off fireworks already. Come on!

Hi, I'd like to join you...
Nearly two weeks into what I can only imagine is the four month sleep regression with my 3rd child.

Never experienced this with DD or DS1 so feeling bewildered! Could do with some company in the wee hours when I feel like I'm losing my mind!