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new 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK' thread

1000 replies

tibsy · 05/03/2007 13:55

hi ladies, the other one ran out of space, so if no one else starts a new thread, here it is....

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tibsy · 24/03/2007 17:00

lilysma hope you're getting some rest thru the day

so, dd and i have both had cranio sacral doo dah today and i feel absolutely banjaxed, hope dd does later!!! she fell asleep during it, so fingers x'd

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MaeBee · 24/03/2007 17:11

lilysma - my lo is 25 weeks, so i think he's off a better age to do this. i would think 18 wks is still a bit young, so maybe thats why. it sounds to me like its more suited for babies around 6 mths.
and sometimes it seems better if i do more ssshing with my hand on him, i have to really play it by ear.

MaeBee · 24/03/2007 17:28

sorry lillysma, that sounded really curt!
wanted to know: when you co-sleep does she sleep better? have you tried her on her side? is it only when shes sucking that she sleeps longer than 20 mins?
and also. cc is really not recommended for babies under 6 mths. i know you must be going absolutely mental, sleep deprivation is SO hard, but i would try everything else first for a baby that young.
and maybe, just a thought, you should try feeding her each time she wakes, in case she needs the extra calories if shes on a growth spurt?
i am no baby expert, these are just wild thoughts to throw out there.
good luck. thinking of you.
as for us, our third night of pupd tonight. apparantly it often gets worse before getting better....

tibsy · 24/03/2007 17:58

maebee, i know what you mean when you say you feel easier if they get upset when you're holding them. i HATE the idea of leaving the room if dd is like that, but i've done it before when trying to put her off feeding so frequently in the night, and she soon realises she's ok cos i'm holding her. i'm really interested in this pu/pd that you and other people have mentioned. have tried lots of different things but not that. just need to get myself motivated to settle on a 'routine' again. atm, i'm way off track.
do you just hold them until they're calm, if you've had to pick them up?
and do you repeat process when they wake in the night?

tamdin - isnt that a little like the ideas for older ones in ncss, i can't remember?

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MaeBee · 24/03/2007 18:10

tibsy - thats basically it! you put them in bed and say something, like "its sleep time now", they cry, you pick em up, calm them, put them down, repeat "its sleep time now" etc. i found its best with my lo to wait a bit to make sure he is actually angry/upset, not just giving his sleep cry...i think the babywhisperer calls it a 'mantra cry', so that can be a few seconds, and sometimes i keep it a little longer with my hand on him to see if he settles. if not, i pick up,calm down, put down, and keep repeating this method. i leave the room (and stand outside) if he seems to go to sleep, or if he stops crying, or if he starts just doing the "self soothing' things....in my los case thats sucking his blanket (which he's only started last three days, i kind of started it for him!)
anyhow, its worked very well for us, and has even worked at naps.
night 1 was 40 pupd's: 5 wakings.
night 2 was 17 pupd's: 3 wakings.
just put him down and HE SHUT HIS EYES STRAIGHT AWAY AND WENT TO SLEEP!!! i cant believe that can be it of course, am waiting for him to kick off when he realises his mistake,and the pessimist in me thinks thats a sign he'll be up all night!
anyway, i would check out the website, www.babywhisperer.com, lots of info on the message boards. i dont think its for everyone, but it has been working for us, and its like a magic trick, i never thought he would do it, because we have been rocking him and feeding him to sleep all this time. i try and remember the somewhat cheesy line: " i am your still waters" while i am doing it, and smiling a gentle,slight smile (hopefully calming) to show him i am confident and happy with what we are doing. thats the hippy in me!
i think it might be similar to ncss methods. do let us know if you try it and how it works for you if you do!

tibsy · 24/03/2007 18:35

i've got a whole lotta hippy in me sister!! and i love the line, will remember that!!
am going to have a chat with dp about it when he comes back as it helps to have him on board too
will keep you updated....
btw, meant to ask, did you post your rl name the other day, if so, think we share the same name

good luck tonight too

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MaeBee · 24/03/2007 19:04

hey there tibsy, i cant remember if i put my real name! didnt mean to anyhow!

the hippy line really helps me stay calm, cos if i get frustrated my boy totally picks up on it.
hope your dp is up for it. mine was dead sceptical and now he is really into it, thinks its much less work than all that rocking and ssshing, and has even more faith than me in it now!

tibsy · 24/03/2007 19:22

mae, just wondering if everyone was slowly 'outing' themselves after tamdin (nee bampa) did whilst under the influence?!! sorry, another question then i'll chuff off...are you still feeding lo in the night?

tam - meant to rib you about that post, but completely missed the opportunity, bah!!

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Swizzler · 24/03/2007 19:30

Well, another iffy night last night but not horrendous (lost count of wakings, but we got a few 2-hr stretches). Out shopping today as DS didn;t really get a proper nap, so a nightmare to settle this evening and anticipating an interesting night... gave up on the PU/PD and just fed him as he was screaming! Will hopefully get back on track tomorrow

Maebee: so glad it's working for you. Will have a look at the website and see if I can get some more info. Really need to do something and NOT keen on CC.

Wishing everyone a good night. Remember the clocks go forward so those early mornings won't be so early

MaeBee · 24/03/2007 20:45

tibsy - yep, still feeding in the night, altho last night it was just the once. i put him to bed at 6.20 tonight and have just fed him again cos he woke up and i want to go to bed myself soon! anyway, he went right back down again so maybe will only need one more tonight? or sleep through....ha ha ha!
night all.x

cruisemum1 · 25/03/2007 09:00

only one waking last night! we are down to 2 most nights, but one last night at 3:30am. then awake at 7:30 (8:30 new time). i hope this is an ongoing development

MaeBee · 25/03/2007 09:02

dont say im the first one up!?! think my lo knew the clocks had changed, cos theres me all excited he will be getting up at closer to 7 than 6, that his naps will all synch better, and then he wakes for good at what my clock says is 5.30, but the new time is 6.30!
anyway, another good night, fed him at 8.30 and then at 10.30, then he slept through until 5ish when he started chatting before crying!! if sleeping through the night is 12 til 5, that means he did it!!! and those first two wakings were really easy, i put him down awake and he fell straight to sleep.
had problems with the morning nap though, only took 15 minutes but he was overtired and stressed, and my dp had to rescue me from doing it, think i was forgetting to be still waters!
anyway, am still feeling really pleased with how its going. obviously, i still keep waking up panicking that he is still asleep, but if this keeps up than that should fade i hope!

hey, tibsy, what did your dp say? are you going to go down our route?
lillysma - hope you got more than a 20min stretch last night.

MaeBee · 25/03/2007 09:03

morning cruisemum! we were posting at same time! thats great news are you doing a particular thing, or is just luck/age/chance?
long may it continue for us all!

tibsy · 25/03/2007 09:39

morning all
cruise and mae thats sleeptastic!!!!

we had a good night too, dp up for it (and the sleep routine....fnar fnar, apologies
anyway, bed at 7pm, just put her in cot and kept hand on her tum, thinking 'i am your still waters' - mae well blow me, she did wake at 11.30 and i fell at the first hurdle and brought her into bed but she conked straight out and didnt wake til 3.45am had a feed then back to sleep. woke at 5.45 so fed her (thought we'd be up for the day then, but nope, she went back to sleep and let me lie in til 7.30, new time 8.30 am!!!!!!!)
much better, yey!!

unfortunately there were 3 varying factors last night,
1 the cranio sacral doo dah
2 i gave her baby rice for tea to settle her tum
3 i put her to bed awake

ah well, who knows, theyre a law unto their own and i'm just grateful for the good night i had.........but it dd wants to do it again, i wont complain

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Tamdin · 25/03/2007 09:45

morning all. had good night too. ds went down at 8.30 (we were at a friends for dinner so bit later than usual) and slept until 3. downed milk in 2 mins. Back to sleep until 6.55 (7.55)
Only problem with clocks going forward is i'll have to wait until 8 tonight before he goes to bed as his body clock will still think it's 7!
same goes for naps. normally has one about 10 but understandably he's showing no signs of tiredness as yet.
tibsy pu/pd is very like ncss for older ones. same reasoning of helping them learn how to go to sleep on their own but without getting upset.
cruise for your fantastic night

Tamdin · 25/03/2007 09:47

sorry tibs x posted. on your good night too. if we keep going this way we'll have to rename/start a new thread just so we can chat everyday. I don't want to leave SIFTW i'd miss you all!

youngmum21 · 25/03/2007 10:18

well done too all you ladies who had a gud nite!!!

Us in the other hand had a terrible nite put lo to bed at 7 she woke up at 10 so fed her but carried ob crying so decided to put herin bed with me which i havent done since she was tiny, she was fast asleep but i cudnt settle was scares i was going to squash her so put her back in cot was down hill from there she and then she got up at 5.30 new time

MaeBee · 25/03/2007 10:19

tibsy - go go with those still waters! oh, the hippy shit we do: mantras, cranio sacral...if it works, go for it i reckon.

hey, when we all crack this, lets starts a " smug sleep is for the week" thread!!

tibsy · 25/03/2007 10:20

tam good night for you too, agree about new thread lets be positive
i was wondering about bedtime tonight too dd just gone down for her 1st nap of the day now.

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MaeBee · 25/03/2007 10:22

oh, and tibsy, im not saying you are doing this, but it might be worth asking yourself: are you bringing your lo into bed for you to enjoy a cuddle, or cos shes genuinely too distressed?!? cos, now my boy is in his own room i am really battlling not to say to myself, oh, he needs me to cuddle him all night, and for me, its cos i want the closeness.
god, am i never satisfied?!?

tibsy · 25/03/2007 10:23

youngmum

it will get better, we've all been there, and no doubt will be there again when we reach the next developmental stage, teething, immunisations or whatever. hang in there and try and get some rest today if you can. is there someone who can take lo off your hands for an hour or two?

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tibsy · 25/03/2007 10:25

mae, its definitely cos i want the cuddles i'm afraid and also cos i'm a lazy tart when i'm tired!

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Tamdin · 25/03/2007 10:27

youngmum if dd sleeps when you co-sleep isn't there any way you could try to do that...you won't squash her. It really works for some families and if it meant you got some sleep it could be worth it.I was happy to co-sleep but it was actually ds that started to want/need more room and slept better in his cot but that was when he got to about 8 months. big hug x

youngmum21 · 25/03/2007 10:28

thanks tibsy! well i did go bak to bed dp got upwith the arse but cudnt get back to sleep!!!
I would love to leave her with someone but she has developed seperaton anxiety already and just screams if any one takes her!!!

tibsy · 25/03/2007 10:34

ym, dd went thru that, but now, is such a little smiler and a very sociable creature it does improve. i left her with someone she'd never met before for an hour at work the other day a colleague whom i trust implicitly i should add, she was fine, and was asleep by the time i'd finished with my client
repeat as your mantra for everything 'it WILL improve' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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