new 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK' thread

[tibsy]

hi ladies, the other one ran out of space, so if no one else starts a new thread, here it is....

tibsy - nowt wrong with wanting those cuddles! just i was getting cross with him for needing to co sleep when maybe it was me!!
youngmum - i have no regrets about the 6 mths of cosleeping i did!

maebee , i DO love it tho, but there have been times myself when i've thought 'why cant you stay in your own blooming bed (cot), its lovely' !!!!

I am so not 'still waters' today. Bawled my eyes out that I can never put LO down for naps. I have to carry him in sling all day in order for him to sleep, otherwise he gets really irritable. If I put him down in cot, he wakes either immediately or within 10 minutes. Spent the whole morning trying to put him down for nap, but its 11.30, and still haven't managed, DH is trying his hand, but am sure will have no better luck, though I think he has more reserves of still waters than me!
Anyway, I'm so tired of having to carry him all day every day, some days, I would really just like him to sleep on his own. He's 12 weeks this week, I'm worried if I just keep carrying him, then he'll never learn to nap on his own, but then I go absolutely crazy at all these failed attempts to get him down for naps. What to do, what to do. Am a bit in a quandry today.

amberjee. I know this doesn't help but he's only 12 weeks. he obviously needs the closness to get him to sleep. will he take dummy? will he nap if dh is wearing the sling? does he wake if you lower him into cot in the sling?
a good friend of mine once told me that the only way she got her ds to sleep in his cot was to make it as soft and cosy as their bed. goes against everything you're told but i ended up putting a single duvet folded up underneath the sheet and then the sheepskin on top so it was really soft. another thing someone i know did in those early weeks/months was to put hot water bottle in crib so lo didn't notice the temp change from warm body to cold sheet. makes sense x

Tibsy maebee amberjee youngmum where are your profiles....(said in stern teacher voice!) i would like to see them plus photos (i can't work out how to do that yet) by the end of the week please

welcome in the house

amber at the risk of repeating myself and being a complete pita, dd also did this and i constantly carried her around. if one more person had said that i was 'making a rod for my own back', i would have taken said rod and shoved it up their chuffing arse!!!! they do grow out of it, but i still do it with dd if she's feeling unwell or needs a bit of reassurance. re. the 'nest', i did the same as tamdin and folded up a quilt so she felt more cosy, she loved it and settled much better in her moses basket then she has in her cot. maybe i should try it in her cot

welcome inthehouse
...and tam, thought i'd already gone public, have done it now for def

Afternoon ladies . Great to hear some positive stories! Cruisemum in particular I am so pleased for you - have been reading some of your desperate posts and could have weeped with joy at your 10 hrs! Sounds like it's all going in the right direction and gives me some hope!

My night was nearly as crap as usual except that I think she is settling better in the first half of the night with sshhing her. She did a nearly 3 hour stretch with one shh for 5 mins in the middle. Then it all fell apart from 2 when I gave up trying to shh her and put her in bed with me, latched her on on and off every hour until 8 and went to sleep in between. Do you think this undoes all the good work of the first half of the night (putting her down to sleep awake and shhing her back)? I do try the pantley pull off, but the problem is she accepts it only to wake up 5-10 mins later rooting away. Am I missing a trick??

Maebae, don't think it can still be a growth spurt as she's been at it for at least a month! Am still confused about how often and when I should give in and feed her according to ncss though...

well, its all falling apart with the naps!! grrr. took my dp an hr to get my lo down today ( i was out getting my hair cut) and now dont really know where we are with it. still, if the pupd gets us nights than im not complaining!!

amberjee - ditto what everyone else is saying!! they do grow better at being put down, i know thats no help for now, but its not that they will be like this forever. i guess the really hard trick we are all trying to do is to GUIDE them, TEACH them slowly to seperate from us, and HELP them, rather than force them, but its so goddamn hard to know how and where and when etc.

oops, dont know how to do a profile, or photos, maybe i should find out! i could admit i was an anarchist, a feminist, an ecologist, and a revolutionary that seems to have become a stay at home mum obsessed with sleep and baby food but that sounds a bit sad!

lilysma - just skimminhg the posts, thanks for your mssg

oh no, we totally failed to get him to sleep for naps today, well, a forced hour at midday, but he fought sleep for 50 mins and we have just given in...any pupd advice on that?!?

thanks for your support everyone!
Tibsy - did she grow out of it naturally? In a way I guess I am worried that I'm making a rod for my back etc etc.
Maebee - I'm really at a loss as to how to teach him good sleep habits too. He doesn't really seem to allow us to try. And I fluctuate between being an attachment parent hippy type who will carry their baby and let them sleep on top of them, but then I also have such a dire need for sleep at the moment, I keep considering what I can do to 'sleep train' him. I don't know which way to go sometimes. letting your baby sleep on their own at their own pace is such a lovely theory, but sometimes i don't know how to get through the hard sleep deprivation while doing that.

inthehouse - how old was your LO when you started PUPD, i think it would just confuse our one at the moment.

Hello again.

DS2 14mo and still Not Getting that he really needs to stay asleep.

[yawn]

he he, hunkermunker, that is exactly what i'm afraid of. how long can this go on???

Tamdin

Strangely he can sleep on his own between 8 and midnight, with generally one waking in the middle. but naps are a no go zone, and the post midnight stretch is tough.
he will sleep with any old person, DH or friend or anything, he's not fussed in that regard (thank goodness). though he always wakes when we put him in the cot, or on the bed, or wherever, no matter how we do it, from sling or arms or whatever.

i've tried the hot water bottle trick to no avail, maybe i'll try the soft bed one, but i feel that there aren't any more 'tricks' that are going to help us, though in the back of my mind i'm considering the amby hammock thing. has anyone tried this. i figure if it doesn't work, we could just resell on ebay or gumtree or something and maybe not lose too much money...

AJ, DS1 was 19mo before he'd sleep through reliably.

If DS2 gets to 20m, he's going on eBay...

amberjee - think ive mentioned this before, but a baby's best sleep period is the early bit, thats the bit they do deeply, and after that it is REM sleep which they keep waking up out of! theres nothing you can do to stop your lo waking up many times, or so the theory goes, (except medised perhaps!!) but its teaching them to get back to sleep again.
i too swing between attachment parenting and thinking i should be more strict. i think my lo prefers me to be more in control, but its hard for me!!

Hunkermunker

Last night wasn't too bad - quite a lot of wakings but only feeding every 3 hours (I'm seeing a ray of sunshine here). But today we didn't get any proper naps in AGAIN after about 8am and once again DS has been a nightmare to settle.

Tomorrow:

• I will get DS to take 3 naps
• I will go back to PU/PD after reading the BW site (it does work if I stick with it)
• I will get DH to help with putting DS to bed
• I will try the sling to potter round the house in

Will see if it works.

BTW, went to a sling workshop today and tried a wrap sling (currently using Wilkinet). DS loves being strapped to my back and fell asleep! It's getting more difficult to keep him asleep in the buggy at the moment, so will see if his helps with daytime sleep.

If some of you are heading towards a full night's sleep there will be plenty of us left to swap horror stories! Am so pleased it's finally working out for some of us, though

hunker lol
Just wanted to check in and extend the ever wishful thought that one of us might get some sleep tonight

amber - yes, she's just done it herself, except,as i say if shes feeling crappy, then she wants to be held ALL the time

hunker

swizzler - that sounds like a plan i'm a complete lazy arse when it comes to getting dd into some sort of routine. i need bloody determination and dedication....alas i am in my dippy hippy mode.
i did, however get dd off to sleep in the cot using pu/pd or something like, so we'll see how we go have already had 1....................make that 2 wakings so far, looks like its gonna be a looooooooooooonnnnnnggggggggggg night

make that 3!! crap crap crappy crap

hey tibs. Swizz and i are in the bar if you fancy a drink