new 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK' thread

[tibsy]

hi ladies, the other one ran out of space, so if no one else starts a new thread, here it is....

tibsy were you asking me how lo is? he's really good. progressed to running from walking already so we've had a few speed wobbles! loves his new found freedom. only downside is that now when we go anywhere he is that child wandering around all the tables smiling inanely at everyone and staring at other lo's!

mae - go lo, go !!

sounds like its exactly what lo needs. i agree, you've got to pull out the bits that work for you
hi pav, and on continued success

ahhh tam, thats SO cute, dd loves other lo's too, she smiled at a bubba in a book the other day cos (s)he was smiling in the pic
dd rolling EVERYWHERE!!! even off the bed last night she was ok, but felt really guilty

oh well, gotta go, dd woken and climbing all over me and we gotta get to work

Tamdin - the difficulty is that my LO doesn't go to be in the day. I tried twice this morning but after 10 mins, he is crying. He will only sleep in my sling in the day.
Maebee, I think you're right about growth spurt, although he didn't feed very long each time, but maybe that's the way he is stimulating more milk to come or something that he knows more about than i do!
I'm keen to try PUPD method with nap times. Can you explain more? Or should I get the book, is it the supernanny one, maybe i can track it down at the library. I really can't understand why sleep is possible at night in his cot (if not very settled or long), but is completely impossible in the day. I guess its better than the other way round. Small blessings.

sorry, "go to bed" that should be.

amberjee what is age is lo? my ds only slept in cot from 6/7months onwards. pu/pd comes from tracey hogg's the baby whisperer book and she has some good ideas but take from it what suits you as is the case with all these books. I did a bit of it mixed with no cry sleep solutions and now he's only waking once but as i've said a million times he's 14m on sunday so has grown into sleep too. It's totally natural that your lo will sleep in his sling close to you, who wouldn't want to!
Tibsy has some good sleep articles from kiskidee (another mn poster) which she might be able to add as a link for you. x

amberjee - my breastfeeding guru says frequent nips increase supply. and, as i said, its most optimum for them to do it at night, so hang in there! you're lo knows what s/hes doing!!
the pick up put down method i got from Tracey Hogg: The Babywhisperer. it explains it all on www.babywhisperer.com ( i think thats right). the method is different according to age. you're "meant" to follow the whole routine, but ive just stolen this bit! and i am astounded, its like a magic trick.

my lo's just woken up: an hr and 10 mins AND he didnt wake up screaming!!!

tamden- she is 19 weeks this sunday!!!
well put he down for a nap and she was out like a light so jumped in to bed and was rudly interupted by someone knocking on the door at 9.20 which woke dd up so she only had 35mins and seems quiet grumpy now as i cudnt get her to settle !! Going to sister in laws to be this afternoon so mite leave her there for a few hours so i cancome home and rest!!!

youngmum how annoying that you were interrupted and now she's missed her morning nap too. I would def leave her with sil if she's happy for you too and dd will be ok with her and go home to rest. you'll feel so much better and ready to cope with whatever the night may bring!
ncss says baby of around 6months needs 2-3 naps a day totalling 3-4 hours so sounds like your dd is doing very well in that dept. my ds was a cat napper at that age but realise now i missed the signs then he got overtired and wired!

Hi All

Been off for a few days as the lap top is broken and can never get to the pc with DD during the day and DP is hogging it in the evenings!

Am supposed to be at a nice coffee morning and was looking forward to it as for once I am not knackered (DD slept from 10.30 - 7.45am) however DD is now asleep again and has been for 1 hour and 45 minutes. VERY STRANGE! I think she is sleeping loads because she is teething - wierd I know, it either keeps her up all night or makes her really sleepy. Yesterday she only took 2 20 minute naps all day.

Pavlov - just read your rant about your DP - mine does the same then gets cross when I am short with him. He is much more careful now though, we had a talk and agreed he would stay put and not talk on the phone etc while I am settling DD and he agreed. Perhaps you just need to remind him?

Maebea - great news on the putting down awake. Your life will change completely again when LO can self settle. DD has been a bit put off recently by teething but still seems to be able to resettle if she wakes but I am BFing to sleep at night again. Will work on this again once her top teeth are through.

Hello all new people

Lots of sleepy thoughts for tonight!

my next overexcited update:
came home from baby group with overtired boy at 12, his dad spent a mere 10 minutes and 3 pick up put downs, now he is napping in his cot again. and that was from a boy so tired, i would have spent ages trying to make him sleep with me and then sneak away.
part of me wishes id done this before, and part of me just thinks this is the right time.
hope im not boring you all with my ridiculous enthusiasm!!

just a quickie - gotta go and see dd's gym display and spring concert - better make sure I take the tissues, I always seem to be the only mum crying at these things! Hard faced cows . ds has a cold, cough etc. . He's not really eating much at all, not drinking formula, just wanting boob. Will he be awake all night hungry? Your advice ladies please.

maebee that's brill. Think it prob is the right time for you all. any sooner and they seem too little to me (i'm such a push over!)cruisemum i'm no use to you so hopefully someone with lo same age/situation will be along soon to offer words of wisdom.
Ruth it'sme bampa. had to change name as told someone it when i was drunk

I just want to add a message on here...a month ago I was at the end of my patience, lack of sleep was getting me so down & didn't know where to go. Didn't want to try cc & was doing the ncsl but was finding it was not really working. Would be up 4/5 times a night sometimes for 2+hrs. So one night after being up for 2hrs, tried to put dd down 7/8x & everytime woke up minute head hit the pillow. So we tried cc, 1st night she cried for 1hr 15mins..that was after the 2hrs we had cuddled her. So for me I thought me cuddling her was worse than just leaving her to go to sleep on her own. 2nd night 1hr crying & 3rd night slept through. I am not counting my chickens but most nights she is asleep by 7pm, bf to sleep, & wakes at 5.15am...it's early but I would take that over what we had before anyday. I haven't read all this thread so don't know if you have tried cc at all anyone, but I would say if it is really getting bad try it & see what happens. I only wished I had done it sooner, maybe then things wouldn't have got so bad.

cruisemum: im no expert by any means, but in my v limited experience, the hunger doesnt seem to relate to how much they eat in the day always. i guess some days they arent so peckish, that doesnt mean they will make up for it at night!

well, i agree this is the right age to try the pupd method,i think there my lo wouldnt have taken to it before. at least, thats what im telling myself!

and, my good news is that he is currently having his third nap of the day! they have all been in his cot. the other 2 were over an hour long. he went down within 10 minutes. and he has woken grizzling but not screaming. i have gone crazy and am steaming sweet potato and carrot, hanging up the laundry....ive even mopped the filthy kitchen floor!

as for controlled crying....we were nearly at the end of our tether enough to try it, but i am SO GLAD we are trying this first. if it doesnt work after a week, 10 days, maybe we will think again, but for me, cc is a very last resort after everything else has failed.

Tamdin, LO is only 11 weeks, so still early days, but it has been REALLY hard so far. He is a happy little chicken as long as I carry him in the sling for most of the day so he can sleep. Then he does his own thing at night, according to his whim at the time, sleeps a bit in his cot, a bit in our bed, a bit on DH etc, and spends a bit of time awake of course as well.
Do you think its too early for PU/PD. I can't imagine it working - seems too simple, and he's just not that good at going to sleep himself, though he can do it in the evening sometimes.

amberjee - 11 wks sounds dead little for pupd to me, BUT why not check out the babywhisperer site and see what it says and then adapt to what you can deal with? and, honest to god, i NEVER thought it would work for my lo, i just thought i had to try everything before resorting to cc (which i also thought wouldnt work!!)

yeah, i think i'm going to wait a while. i'm so pathetic, two pick ups and resettles and i'm strapping on my sling for his nap. i just get so frustrated by unsuccessful nap attempts, mostly I can't be bothered. I keep trying sometimes to extract him from the sling and put him down, but he wakes within 10 mins usually.

Youngmum, no don't think I'll ever find out. Did all the usual checks but nothing obvious. I put it down to the 'unsettled for no reason syndrome' which seems to develop at around four months. Luckily we're not having nearly the same hassle anymore. I have to (generally) get up a couple of times in the night. Once to put the dummy in and another to feed. The dummy is a god send in my eyes as it allows her to soothe herself back to sleep.

Also, I don't think 4 hours is too much for a 19 week old. I'd just let them sleep unless it was obvious that they'd got day and night mixed up.

Maebee, glad you're having success with the BW method. It didn't work for me but then again I tried it sometime ago.

Amber, don't think she recommends PU/PD for under 4 months because it can over stimulate but I may be wrong. We tried it about the 4 month mark and I think it confussed the hell out of both of us. Maybe the reason the others are having success is that their LO's are a bit older.

Last night was awful. I was supposed to be going out (for the first time since she was born) only a couple of hours or so to a neighbours but DD kicked off (And when I say kicked off, she was screaming the house down) I dispatched DH to the shops for prune juice (because I think she's consipated) and he came back and we gave her some at which point I went because she's calmed down. DH phoned about 45 minutes later said that she was in a real state so I had to go home. She slept with me and was unsettled for the rest of the night. Still no poo! She had screamed so much she was horse and I had a stinking headache and wished I'd not gone as DH is convinced DD hates him because she stopped crying for me and not him. Ahhh, what a rant. Just don't want a repeat performance. No idea what the problem was but she was absolutely inconsolable. We've never had that before.

Here's for a better night all

Took ages to read all the updates - great news MaeBee! And at your 4 hours! And 7 hours for Tamdin - there's hope for us all

Well, last night def an improvement - I'm doing a similar PU/PD thingy at the beginning of the night, took longer but seemed to work as DS slept for 2 2.5 hour stretches. After we'd gone to bed about 11 and he'd finally settled, woke 1:30, 3:30 and 5:30 before waking as usual at 6:30. Sounds awful but a massive improvement on the last couple of nights. Still not ready to stop feeding at night, but I do try and shush DS first (usually fails!). And he's had two good naps today - about an hour this morning and 2 hours in bed with me this afternoon so I got some sleep as well. Will try the PU/PD napping in cot method in a week or so when (hopfully) the nights will have settled down further.

Here's hoping for a better night tonight for all of us!

BTW, the boiler suit seems to be a success - keeps DS nice and warm but he can still chew his hands and bat at the side of the cot. It's like a grobag but in 2 layers with sleeves. Also has a handy trapdoor arrangement so you can check w=their nappy without completely unzipping the

unzipping them

amberjee 11 weeks is so young. I found the first 4-5 months the hardest too. You're still getting to know each other and adapting to the HUGE change to your life.
Hang on in there. If you can maybe think about borrowing NCSS and BW from the library just to have a read and see how you feel about the suggestions. You can also buy both books on amazon. I bought a 'used' NCSS and it was £5.
Keep telling yourself you're doing a great job, you're giving your baby everything he needs (which is soooooo tiring) but it does get easier.
As said before kiskidee posted some info on this and other threads recentley that might help you too.
Tibsy knows more about that than i do

hi all,
just put the boy down. erm, another stupid sleeping question, but he much prefers being on his side, and i know that is ok for some of the night, but do you think its alright to keep putting him on his side all night? ive used a panda as a wedge at the back (not a real one!)
anyway, he took 20 mins rather than 30 tonight, but his crying was so intense i feel really upset again. i had to leave the room to rush downstairs for a second when he was still crying, and when i rushed back he had fallen asleep!
my dp hides when he puts him down, which i think would just make me laugh and i dont get why its better than leaving the room!!! maybe makes dp feel better. (he does get up when the boy starts weeping)

good luck tonight all.xxx

i think on their side should be fine. ds was the same and grew out of it. Now you find him in every position known to man while he's asleep. bum in the air, on his back, on his front, squashed up one end of the cot etc etc
Maebee are you doing cc?

hi,
no, not cc, im doing pick up put down, so its not like leaving him alone to cry it out, i pick him up and calm him down or put my hand on him if he looks like hes ready to drop off. and its working so well! but i still find it stressful, which makes me think cc would destroy me....or rather, i wouldnt see it through.
xxx