I’m getting really fed up of my posts being deleted.

[WellingtonBootilicious]

I say nothing inflammatory. No rascism, no sexism, no xenophobia. Because that is not me, I would never.

So why are my posts being deleted? I’m adding to the discussion. Sometimes I may question if a pp is being deliberately stupid… is that a legitimate reason to be deleted?

How thin skinned are we supposed to be to use this website? It’s becoming pointless even bothering to make a post.

I made a genuine post about about how knife crime is a serious problem within major cities. Low & behold, it’s been deleted. I made some genuine points in the post, ones that could lead to a positive discussion. I’m starting to give up on MN, no other website is policed to this extent.

I agree that hate crimes should be deleted. Of course. But I have done nothing of the sort.

You also told the poster not to be so petty and to get a hobby!

Calm down. I’d honestly say most of you are much nastier than I am.

I never berated or insulted someone directly
Well, except for all the posters you've just called nasty - not to say the other things you said earlier.

I can't believe you have put these two sentences together in the same post, on a thread you've started to proclaim your innocence

Ah yes, 'get a hobby' is just a harmless expression in parts of Ireland I hear. It actually means 'have a lovely day'

To be fair, I spent a few years working in Ireland and this wouldn’t turn a hair. I don’t find it insulting.

Sigh. The term ‘mental’, OP. Don’t you live in a world that includes (a) contact with any other people and (b) the concept of disablist language?

It's all in the way you phrase it!
You are stupid - ❌️
That's a stupid thing to say ✅️

Are you actually joking? Did you read the thread? There was absolutely nothing nasty in my reply, I said ‘fuck no’ don’t do what you are planning to?! What’s the problem there?

You asked if they were mental!

That's a frightful insult towards people who are actually mentally ill. It's appallingly disablist language.

You said in your OP that you never say anything inflammatory. That isn't true, is it?

Calling someone mental isn’t a slur. Google it.

You're all trying to make me out to be a nasty person.

Yes, it absolutely is a slur to call someone mental.
I'm horrified that you do not understand this.

Saying “you’d be absolutely mental”
Calling them odd, petty and needing to get a hobby. Do you not think that is a personal attack and rude?

You’ve asked why and people are telling you, it’s your language, people have given good advice on how you can structure it better so your posts won’t be deleted. Take the advice, it seems you’re the problem here.

No. We're trying to explain why you keep getting your posts deleted.

As a help @WellingtonBootilicious when writing a post, do not comment on other posters. Just start out saying In my opinion, in my experience, I've observed, i disagree etc

For example:
I disagree with you that "are you stupid" is an acceptable thing to say to someone, both in writing and in person. IMO you are insinuating that the person is an idiot or making an idiotic statement and that your opinion is the only valid one. This does not encourage debate or discussion but, rather, shuts down the person you are conversing with. Despite having no repercussions when you do it face to face with someone, you are not aware of what they say once you leave the room. I would hazard to guess they find you rude and overbearing and feel you always think you're right. It's ok to have an opinion and point of view. It's healthy to discuss alternative points of view. It is not ok to call people stupid.

Calm down. I’d honestly say most of you are much nastier than I am.

Wow OP. Thanks for the insult. I'll say it again, you need to take some time out and reflect on how and why you are coming across as antagonistic, aggressive and insulting.

You’re doing an excellent job of it yourself.

I’ve seen pile ons on mumsnet before. I’ve never been part of one. As far as I remember (get in touch with mumsnet if you disagree)

I’m shocked by the response to this post.
I owned the fact that perhaps my personal language didn’t translate well into written text.
I wrote the way I speak to my own family members. That was obviously a mistake. It doesn’t work written down. I accept that and I apologised.
I never meant any harm. I own any posts I made previously and I stand by them, nothing I said was offensive.

I accept that asking ‘are you stupid’ is not an acceptable phrase.

I am what i am. And what i am is a nice person. I don’t need people online to agree with me.

It absolutely is not “thrown into conversation to make someone reconsider their stance.” It is used as a high-handed insult, not just calling them stupid but demanding that they answer you and justify why they aren’t stupid. It’s belittling, arrogant, and nasty.

You mention that you use it in your family. If it’s an unpleasant thing that you all say to one another then you should be aware that no one outside your family will be “in” on it and not use it with others.

The reply that someone else posted in a screenshot was also nasty and insulting. If this is how you choose to communicate with others then yes, Mumsnet may not be for you as you’ll eventually end up banned.

How? What is it exactly that I’ve done to make me a nasty person? I’ve never hurt anyone.

You need to learn to code switch OP.

You say it’s a term used within your family. Well, it might be fine to jokingly ask your sibling if they’re stupid while you’re laughing together about some silly incident.

It’s not an okay thing to ask of someone online (or in RL either usually). You don’t ask a stranger if they’re stupid. It’s just insulting.

Don't posts have to be reported to be considered for deletion?

If not maybe MN have an alert for everytime you post and then draw from a hat which posts to delete. Just for shits and giggles.

But you've been hurting various people on MN if you've had so many posts deleted for personal attacks.
Do you realise that you're being hurtful?

And no we don't.

I’ve had 2 posts deleted in 10 years. All today as far as I know.

Calling someone mental is an insult too OP, unless it’s laughingly said to someone close to you. It’s not something you can say to strangers online.

Honestly don't worry about it! I've had my parenting questioned I've been called names etc on here! It's an anonymous forum, so people reporting you or having a go at won't ever meet you. Unfortunately we have become a society of hurty words mean you're labelled as a certain idealism. I say much worse on my local FB groups with my real name and I definitely say anything I say behind people's back to their face! I rarely comment on here as it's got very handbag snatching! 😂😢

@WellingtonBootilicious
You suggested that I should Google whether calling someone mental is a slur.
This is the first thing that came up:

"Even when someone who uses the word claims they “aren't talking about a person,” that word (and related ones, like insane, lunatic, mental, and psycho) are dismissing a person or idea by comparing it to a slur for mental health disability."