I’m getting really fed up of my posts being deleted.

[WellingtonBootilicious]

I say nothing inflammatory. No rascism, no sexism, no xenophobia. Because that is not me, I would never.

So why are my posts being deleted? I’m adding to the discussion. Sometimes I may question if a pp is being deliberately stupid… is that a legitimate reason to be deleted?

How thin skinned are we supposed to be to use this website? It’s becoming pointless even bothering to make a post.

I made a genuine post about about how knife crime is a serious problem within major cities. Low & behold, it’s been deleted. I made some genuine points in the post, ones that could lead to a positive discussion. I’m starting to give up on MN, no other website is policed to this extent.

I agree that hate crimes should be deleted. Of course. But I have done nothing of the sort.

Exactly

you sound scary ngl

“It’s was never meant as an insult or personal attack. It’s something that is thrown into conversation to make someone reconsider their stance.”

it’s not exactly a compliment either though is it?

Having put your point across on the matter in hand, if what you intended was for someone to then reconsider their stance on the subject, then why don’t you just say that instead of asking them if they are stupid?

I understand that it may be a common turn of phrase for your family/friends/local area, but MN users come from all over, so how would they know?

I wouldn’t burst into tears, but neither would I stay to chat with someone so ignorant.

Remember you are talking to strangers. Not family members or old friends but people who have no idea what kind of person you are.

Round here you can swear and be emphatic but you don’t call other posters names.

It’s not a difficult rule to follow. For most of us. Remember MN don’t read every post. Other posters must be reporting you for being hostile.

And absolutely yes, it isn’t compulsory to hang out here if you don’t like the delicate immature flowers you’ve described us as.

I understand this. But as someone who writes how they speak, it’s an automatic thing iykwim. I genuine never mean to cause offence.
It just doesn’t come across well written down, I get that.

I wish MN could edit out the part they think are breaking guidelines and keep the rest!

I mean you’ve asked posters here if they’d cry in real life, said we’re not in high school, accused us of being delicate… as well as stupid.

I mean you’re pretty free with the insults. I’d be interested to know whether you had something interesting to say round the edges of all the insults, tbh.

I'd argue that "Are you stupid?" is actually considerably more offensive than "You're stupid".

The former is essentially saying the latter, but with a really nasty, sneering, bullying undertone.

But is the word stupid so insulting? That’s what I’m struggling to grasp. It’s just a descriptive word for someone who isn’t getting what I mean?

No, that would be asking if they don't understand.

Yes! That’s my issue! I often feel I have plenty to add to the discussion. Clearly the way I word things isn’t acceptable though.

But that’s exactly what I mean by that? Would it be more polite to simply ask if they don’t understand?

Maybe they are more intelligent than you and understand the nuances, which would make you the more stupid one for not getting what they mean.

Or you could edit your own language before you post. MN are not going to waste their resources on making your written word acceptable, when it’s quicker to delete.

It is your responsibility to learn how to communicate in a way which is acceptable to their guidelines. It’ll help in real life too if you speak to people that are not from where you’re from, where apparently your way of communicating is ok. You’ll most likely find if you travel elsewhere and ask people if they’re stupid, it won’t end well.

Wow. Incredible xenophobia.

Why would you assume someone was stupid because they don't agree with you?

I’ve accepted the fact I don’t word things correctly. I’ve apologised. I don’t mean any offence.

It’s not about agreeing with me. I accept all arguments. It’s a turn of phrase. As I’ve already stated.

Think of it like this…. Lots of your posts were deleted, so lots of people reported them for being rude, so lots of people thought they were rude so… you sounded rude.

I get that you don’t think you sounded rude, but other people did.

Remember tone doesn’t come across in print! Maybe with your accent and intonation it’s ok.

When I read it, I hear the voices of sneering bullies on the back seat of the bus. “Are you stupid or what?!” <not aimed at OP- just reporting the bullies’ speech!>

Look, it’s not worth getting aireated over. Let it go, find a new phrase.

• Are you hard of understanding?

-What is it you don’t understand? -what else can I say to explain?!

On MN the classic would be ‘did you mean to be so rude’ 🤣😇

I'm Irish and I certainly don't and if anyone said that to me I would definitely take it as an insult!

Yes.
You can comment about someone's post, and disagree with them, without being insulting, and you should try to do so.
Personal attacks are not permitted on MN.

Me? I mentioned where you’re from, because you said

‘Asking someone ‘are you stupid’ is a deliberate turn of phrase where I’m from.’

I suppose this is where I could ask if you are stupid for not understanding that….but I won’t, because it wouldn’t be polite and I think you just missed it, not that you’re stupid.

So concentrate on your interesting insights, not the argument. People don’t have to agree with you. Your points will still be interesting.

In what way?

OP, if your bank manager or the cashier in the supermarket, or your Dr, or your DC's teacher, or a random in the street said to you 'are you stupid?!' surely you'd be pissed off?! It's incredibly rude.

If someone said that to me I wouldn't cry, I'd be very cross, and depending on the setting I'd quite likely tell them to fuck off.

You can't go around calling people stupid just because your family dish out good natured insults to each other. I really don't understand how you've for to (presumably) adulthood without working that out. I often call my DB a raging twat, it doesn't mean I'd say it to a colleague! If I did I'd expect to get hauled into a disciplinary. If I said it outside the pub on a Friday I'd expect to get a smack on the nose.

No OP it’s rude. Asking someone if they are stuoid implies you already think they are. And calling someone stupid is a personal attack and breaks their guidelines.. There are much more civil and polite ways to discuss something than to personally attack something than by calling. Someone a name, implying something unkind or attacking then personally because of something they have said. In my opinion calling someone a name or implying they are stupid is a lazy way to argue.