Private conversations held on MN

[Ohwhatacircusitis]

I thought MN was a public forum where essentially any one with a registered account could start a thread. And the thread was open to anyone with a registered account to join in the discussion .

Why then are " private threads " allowed? Where essentially certain MN users have a private conversation with each other which is being conducted on a public forum? I'm thinking here of the New Fred thread in 30 days, although I have seen other examples in the past.

Surely this isn't what MN is supposed to be about?
Why can't these posters use the private messaging facility or conduct their conversation elsewhere.

Total cliquism vibes.

There's a lovely Babs Cartland pink tinge to the fur on my monitor

I think it's the filter I put on the picture.
He isn't pink at all.

He's pure white, although that is interspersed with grey marks from where he rolls around in the garden.
😂

Yep that's what I do when I come across the sort of threads OP is talking about. I wander in and see some odd posts that read like incomplete sentences, I scratch my head trying to make sense of it all without success, then I wander back out. I know I have no idea what they're on about and I don't need to know. I just leave them to their 'inside' conversation/thread.

OP, the point is that it's not about you. Even if you're ignored, you can find another thread or you can simply click off without stressing yourself about being included in what you don't know, and find a thread you relate to/understand/can contribute to. There's no need to expect anyone to draw you in like a stranger at a party on an anonymous forum.

This thread needs to go into classics. I can't move 🤣🤣🤣

I’m on these under my Archer’s posting name and I joined many many years into the threads and was welcomed. Welcomed in quite a unique Archers thread way in which you need to not mind being corrected. They often go off on very niche tangents to which I either join in or happily scroll by.

I don't think it's gone quite how the op was expecting

What a lovely summary 🙂
I think it's lovely that posters get to know each other. No harm intended to others, just a bit of company and support. On the long running threads it looks particularly non-judgmental and all about the companionship.
You just need to find a little sanctuary sometimes, and I think MN can provide that.

I love carrot cake so much but have to put my foot down about the raisins. Very fond of a cream cheese and orange juice fluffy topping 😋

This thread reminds me of one years ago, where a relatively new poster posted a long list of improvements she wanted made to the site.

Her final point went something like....
As for the Woolly Hugs craft consortium, someone should tell the poor dears that they will never make a financial success of their business because their business plan is too haphazard, and what they need is a high profile e-commerce website.
🧶 🧶 🧶 🧶 🧶

I can see both sides of this. There are a few of these long running threads on MN and they don't bother me at all, I think they are a nice way to continue long standing relationships.
But reading the New Fred thread, it was a cliquey reply. The OP says they have anxiety which I imagine heightened the issue, but they posted in good faith, putting themself out there, trying to make a connection and was essentially told that the thread wasn't for them.

Ooh, I never thought of putting raisins in a carrot cake. I'm making one tomorrow with the leftover sultanas in the back of the baking cupboard.

Thanks for that!

(If anyone can think of a good dairy free topping so I can persuade my allergy-ridden brats into trying it, I'd be very grateful)

But reading the New Fred thread, it was a cliquey reply. The OP says they have anxiety which I imagine heightened the issue, but they posted in good faith, putting themself out there, trying to make a connection and was essentially told that the thread wasn't for them.

That's not how I see it. The OP's post was

"Might be helpful if you gave the unitiated like myself heads up to what the thread was actually about.
I'll take a stab: Fred the Brazilian footballer?"

which doesn't sound like the post of someone trying to make a connection and having anxiety.

To me it is the way a bloke pushes his way into a group of women, presuming that they will prioritise him over a conversation that is already happening.

I agree that the reply on that thread wasn't exactly welcoming.

To me it is the way a bloke pushes his way into a group of women, presuming that they will prioritise him over a conversation that is already happening

I quite agree.

Sultanas and pecans are both lovely in a carrot cake, walnuts if you go heavy handed on the icing. If you're light on icing, walnuts can be a little bitter.

A good dash of lime juice in the icing improves it.

I have a dairy-allergic friend who swears by vegan "butter" with vanilla and icing sugar as an alternative to cream cheese.

I'd forgotten entirely that there is some section of the site for this but I can't remember what it's called or how to access it?

Everyone interprets things differently. I personally think it was an awkward attempt at conversation. And I do disagree about inserting into a women's conversation. There was no conversation happening at that point.

There was no conversation happening at that point.

There was twelve years of conversation.

Exactly. If the OP of this thread had been polite and respectful when questioning the OP of the Fred Thread, she would have received a polite and respectful response.
But she was immediately snippy.

Good heavens. You're objecting to a perfectly inoffensive thread because of its perceived "cliquism" (sic). And yet you are free to post on that thread, as indeed you did. Why do you think you are entitled to an explanation of the origins or purpose of a conversation between old MN friends? Why do you care?

Arguing about a thread on MN and feeling aggrieved about it for no apparent reason seems an odd way to spend your time.

Not that this person was aware of though. Or was the opening post on the Fred thread edited and I missed a link to the previous ones or something?

Pecans would be delicious 😃
All nuts are very welcome in my carrot cake!
I really want a pecan danish now too....

i prefer the ones in olive oil, but of course they are more expensive, so i have to limit my intake.
nice flavour though.

Not that this person was aware of though. Or was the opening post on the Fred thread edited and I missed a link to the previous ones or something?

Entering a conversation/thread with the phrase 'might be helpful if...etc'is no way to start a conversation or garner information about what a thread might be about.

Regardless, I can't get on board with the suggestion (or command) that every thread should be immediately welcoming and 'inclusive' just in case someone wants to know what it's about.

You didn't miss the link but you did miss the fact it was posted on the 30-days board. Which the OP here also missed. It's where sensitive threads get posted as they go pooof after 30 days. Generally one should always be aware of the board where things are posted as it can give good clues about the nature of the thread or the posters.

I didn't read it as snippy, more awkward. But I've got the context of their anxiety from this thread. I wonder if that's clouding my interpretation of it.
Either way, we actually have no idea whether the OP of the Fred thread would have been polite or not, dependant on tone.