Private conversations held on MN

[Ohwhatacircusitis]

I thought MN was a public forum where essentially any one with a registered account could start a thread. And the thread was open to anyone with a registered account to join in the discussion .

Why then are " private threads " allowed? Where essentially certain MN users have a private conversation with each other which is being conducted on a public forum? I'm thinking here of the New Fred thread in 30 days, although I have seen other examples in the past.

Surely this isn't what MN is supposed to be about?
Why can't these posters use the private messaging facility or conduct their conversation elsewhere.

Total cliquism vibes.

Everyone likes a bit of cat spam!

Okay - I've just had a quick look at it, and it seems to me that the OP of this thread was being argumentative and unwilling to accept that other people had a different opinion to hers.......................

In fact, she flounced from that thread as well as the Fred one, and this one.

I'm sorry that the OP has social anxiety. I have found that mumsnet is a nice place to avoid mine.

I still don't understand why the OP tries to keep the purpose of the thread secret from other MN members.

This seems like an accusation and not factual reality. The OPs in question aren't trying to hide the purpose of the threads from anybody, they're just not going out of their way to explain it to everybody because guess what it's a thread with a specific long-term purpose. Ironically if Fred's OPs were to post an intro explaining that this was a long-running thread for lots of folk who have known each other on MN for a long time, that would probably also attract accusations of cliquey behaviour! As it happens, the thread isn't likely to be of much interest to anybody who isn't already on it and do you know what? Who cares! Nobody's civil liberties are being restricted, and no OPs are obliged to post content that will delight and engage anybody else. Just move on and find a thread that interests you more. It's like going to a party - if you go and introduce yourself to a conversation about Gerry and the golf team, you can't claim victimhood if you don't know who Gerry is and you don't play golf - what you should do is excuse yourself and go find a conversation that you find more appealing.

I love the Archers threads. I've dipped in and out, and under various new usernames for years.

OP moans about not being replied to, then says she's not going to read the replies and ignore everyone, even though she says this is a horrid way to be treated if you have social anxiety.

Hardly "being the change you want to see".

I hope you do read this and understand how you come across when you demand people do what you don't deign to do.

That's brave of you. I visited that thread when there weren't many posts and decided my hard hat wasn't going to be big enough for the incoming bunfight. Sometimes you can just tell when a thread won't go well.

Unlike carrot cake and cat spam threads 🤗

And now she's flounced from the whole site.

I actually enjoy seeing these nichey chats where people know each other and their sense of humour. Would be a greyer world if no-one could branch off the main threads and talk to people they click with.

Same here and the Thigh one amuses me as my eldest DS- very intelligent 30 year old- still pronounces Thailand as Thighland. And he says it often as his friend moved there briefly.

I don’t think that’s solely extreme social anxiety. It sounds like you’re misreading cues. No one is ‘hiding’ things or being deliberately secretive. No one is making fun of you.

I didn't know it could be frozen either. The cake that is, not the card.

I'll pass on the eating the card, but maybe someone can post one for you, so you can go get some cake 😂

I’d guess that this is a recurring issue that is a problem in the world for the OP. Again and again people are mean and cliquey, without any manners.

here that strange thing has happened to her again ! Mumsnet is so mean ! She knows, she tried and it was proven.

or…..

I have enjoyed using MN because I thought it was all inclusive. That posters dont get discriminated against. But private conversations aren't all inclusive. By definition they exclude the majority of posters. They are cliquish. So MN is not the open and all inclusive forum that I thought it was. And I'm disappointed.

Your expectation doesn't seem realistic and doesn't seem to be based on anything MumsNet has ever said about the forum. Of course loads of threads are "exclusionary" in that they are asking for people with relevant experience and knowledge to reply - e.g., "Who's at Oxford this term?" or "Has anyone here travelled solo in Morocco?" or "How did you get rid of gout?" Of course, no one is stopping anyone from posting on those threads if they DON'T have the relevant experience, but it's not typically adding value.

If every thread were "all inclusive", there would be no point for any of the boards except Chat and maybe AIBU.

This is all your interpretation, that’s not how I (and many others on the thread) interpreted it.

Do you regularly twist things people say to you into some drama then take and complain to others about being ill-treated?

But this thread has shown that you have no qualms about creating one of your own and engaging. So I call BS on all that confidence and inclusivity nonsense.

Please let there be a wheelie bin thread, preferably in a storm, and with an angry, bin obsessed vigilante neighbour in the mix...
It's autumn and we're now entering runaway bin season, so I'm hopeful!

I absolutely understand extreme social anxiety.

And the actual meaning of "triggering".

Don't see the issue, there's been long running threads the whole time I've been posting on here which must be about 14 years now

Let people have their chats ffs

Talk about an over réaction.

All because someone didn’t make an OP clear enough for @Ohwhatacircusitis to see if she could join in…..

Jumping to ‘these are private threads’ is a bit much.

You made a bit of an arse of yourself on that Fred op

@Pixiedust1234 the cat thread calmed down a lot soon afterwards. It's pretty chilled now. Mostly just people swapping ideas for cat sleeping places now Op has flounced.

Op, I don't know whether you just can't see you were rude? From your first post.

Only here to respond to the question about the long running The Archers thread.

Definitely still exists! 173 continuous threads so far.

Absolutely everyone is welcome, whether you’ve listened (to the BBC Radio 4 soap ‘The Archers’) for 60 years or 6 days. Generally people will try to answer questions. Occasionally there are ferocious disagreements. Some people prefer the thread to the show.

Obviously if you’ve never listened to ‘The Archers’, and don’t intend to do so, you may find the thread baffling, or you may feel left out - but I’m pretty sure no one who posts on the thread believes they’re part of an exclusive clique.

I love that it’s still going!

Drop in!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/5164477-archers-thread-173-the-fall-of-the-house-of-grundy-discuss-the-archers-here?reply=138386084

I'm thinking this OP must struggle with life.

There's a lovely Babs Cartland pink tinge to the fur on my monitor 😄
Is that a pre-furball position? I only ask because I've just watched mine eat the tops off my plants and then do the reverse hacking up move just outside the back door. Thankfully, no audio.
Our long haired cat (god rest your little soul Vader) used to sit on the table outside when it was windy, slowly flicking his head around, like he was making a cheesy 80s boyband video...such a poseuuur 😆