Private conversations held on MN

[Ohwhatacircusitis]

I thought MN was a public forum where essentially any one with a registered account could start a thread. And the thread was open to anyone with a registered account to join in the discussion .

Why then are " private threads " allowed? Where essentially certain MN users have a private conversation with each other which is being conducted on a public forum? I'm thinking here of the New Fred thread in 30 days, although I have seen other examples in the past.

Surely this isn't what MN is supposed to be about?
Why can't these posters use the private messaging facility or conduct their conversation elsewhere.

Total cliquism vibes.

I understand a little what you mean - and I have no desire to join in any long running threads!

But I can see that I could be confusing for some people to see a thread entitled )for example) 'the one where we zap the chickens and put out the deckchairs!' and of course, it's obscure and designed to 'tell' other posters that they are a little clique with a long running thread

There easy to just avoid though - let these people just crack on I suppose

Did you ask?

Oh my god go outside

What? I've been on here 6 yrs and I've never heard of this... 😄

I don't look at the litter tray topic.
I don't have a cat but actually, now you mention it, I would probably find it really interesting because I love cats and know a lot about them. So I wouldn't be complaining, no.

Why would you want to join a conversation that you don't know the history of and is a continuation of a long-running conversation?

Those threads with the clearly specific thread titles don't even register with me. I don't know what they're about so I just ignore them.

Mumsnet has this amazing feature that lets you start your own thread about literally anything in any section that you like. It's very handy when you want to chat about something specific with people that might be interested in it.

I can't get worked up about it too much myself but I do know what OP means. The threads feel a bit performative to the outsider. They're mostly phenomenally mundane from what I can see, so you're not missing anything.

Oh dear OP, I’ve just had a look and from what you’ve said here, I was surprised to see the OP interacted with you immediately despite the fact you were quite grumpy.

Try ingratiating yourself and you might find people want to talk to you more.

In theory I could go on and spout a whole load of garbage and be ignored.

But actually de facto excluded if you have no idea what the thread is about and no one is willing to tell you!

You're a main character person aren't you

I disagree that everything everywhere has to be inclusive. Maybe because that's what got my breast feeding support group closed down, because it wasn't inclusive.

I think this talk forum should be for talking. I wouldn't go on any thread and ask what it was about.

I thought there was an actual thread that was locked to private and only members of the thread can post.

I don't think you can really stop people chatting. I guess if there's nastiness you can report the post.

MN is absolutely vast. The handful of long-running slightly random threads affects no one. Most long-running threads are subject-based and new people can pop up and join in as they go along, so we really are talking about a small number of a small number here.

You can post absolutely anywhere but you may get less out of some threads than others.

What you’re describing isn’t the way conversation works. It’s not cliquey to not have a “welcome newcomers” banner up! Perhaps if you allowed the thread to get half a dozen messages before you posted, you’re would pick up what it’s about without having to demand someone explain to you?

There is a big difference between exclusionary cliques (I’m not denying they exist here, I expect they do), and just people who know each other chatting.

There used to be an Archers one didn’t there?

You're a main character person aren't you

This. I have main character syndrome and even I can see threads like this and go 'meh' and scroll past.

OP it's simply not about you. Instead of thinking it's the cool kids smoking behind the bike sheds cutting you, think of it as the nerds holed-up in the library who look owlishly at the interloper when a stranger pops their head around. That's more the vibe.

Well the OP responded but didn't provide any information of what the thread was about.
As I said I'm not really interested in joining in that thread, or a lot of threads tbh.
It's the cliquishness I'm objecting to because I didn't think that's what MN is about.
I'll admit I'm not a chatty person. The Chat topic generally irritates me.
But I defend any registered members right to post on any thread and don't see why threads such as the one I've talked about here exist only for the benefit of certain members who are " in the know "

Why would I want to ingratiate myself with anyone? That's not what my objection to these private threads is about.

So you just enjoy whinging and whining then?

Righto.

I've had a look at what you posted now and I think you are just shit stirring. You have started a thread to complain about people who have built up a relationship with one another over time because you think they owe you an explanation of their interactions

You can't police the conversations of others and decide that they aren't being inclusive.

Got it. So going forward, all Mumsnet threads must either relate to OP or if not, be interesting to them.

No. I'm making a point about cliquism which I think shouldn't have a place on MN.

Nail meets head beautifully.

If you bothered to even post on the thread saying hi and asking what it was about you’d find they’re a very friendly group of people that just like random chit chat. But don’t let anything like the facts bother you with all your prejudices and anger that people dare strike up a friendship online 😉

There’s no ban on you joining the thread. What would mumsnet do to change things?

You joined with an initial, slightly snarky comment and then immediately bowed out. You didn’t ask if you could join/introduce yourself.

Perhaps we can link this thread to that one and ask if newcomers are welcome

No. I'm making a point about cliquism which I think shouldn't have a place on MN.

Perhaps start your own forum then.