Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

@BadNomad I am just saying what the about us section of the website states the discussion forum is for?

Nowhere does it say it's only for parents. Nowhere does it say childless/free people aren't welcome to post. Nowhere does it say you can only post in the Doghouse if you have a child. Nowhere does it say only relationships involving children are to be discussed in Relationships. Or only mothers can discuss fashion, or feminism, or elderly parents. These topics are open to anyone.

@BadNomad Of course not, but does describe itself as a network for parents, a place to pool knowledge for parents, to make parents lives easier etc. Do you not think they should make it clear it is not just for parents? Why do you not want their statement to be it's a network for people, a place to make people's lives easier etc.? I can't see the problem in updating it to reflect the change of use, why would you be opposed?

Sorry - that's exactly what I meant. Hadn't realised that some parents despised people like me (an aunt, a godmother and a school governor) so much. It's unpleasant and maybe we would benefit from our own space.

Who do they need to make it clear to? That's what I'm not understanding. Are parents being failed by the mission statement? Their aim is to help parents. That is what they are doing. They're not trying to target other people, but they're not excluding them. They don't need a mission statement saying "we made this site to make life easier for you too". Because they didn't. But that doesn't mean other people can't be here.

Gosh, the “it’s called MUMSnet” brigade are going to be very disappointed when they read Lily’s post

@BadNomad And I am not suggesting other people shouldn't be here. I am suggesting clear marketing information so that everybody knows the site is for everybody. It would solve a lot of problems.

My neice currently lives with me so goodness knows whether I am allowed to post or not according to some on here! 🙄

Well that's my point isn't it? My children wouldn't be at a village fair with me, they are teens, they do their own thing. I don't go to village fairs with my parents. We are still parents even though our children aren't with us 24/7. Lots of Disney adults have children too and they go to disney without their children.

That poster was saying that they might be gossiped about as a 'loner' like it genuinely never occurred to them that parents are not attached to their children 24/7. They were describing things unique to childfree people after all and chose going to the fair alone as one of those things. Parents can be 'loners' too. Parents spend more of their lives being 'loners' than they do attached to their children. The period of time when kids are small and actually want to be with their parents all of the time is actually very short. The rest of the time we are just like 'childfree loners'.

Given how often MN have made it clear we are welcome here I'm not sure updating the blurb would help. There would still be those people going 'but it's MUMsnet' regardless

The site isn't for everyone. Seriously, go look at it. Not the chat forum, the actual site. There is nothing there for anyone who doesn't have children. They don't need to rebrand their whole site just so they can prove that the chat forum is inclusive of others. Mods have said plenty of times that the forum is open to anyone. It is not their fault that people refuse to accept that.

Are they? So you’re planning your care in old age with zero support from your children, not planning to leave them any inheritance and have issues at work when people with children expect you to sacrifice your free time to cover the/accommodate their shifts?

I think if it was clearly indicated that chat forums are for everybody and not specifically parents, there would be no more but it's Mumsnet! It could be in block capitals and no one would miss it. And they should add something to the about us page to state the discussion forums are not just for parents to swop advice, but for everyone. Really, the issues would be solved.

There is a line at the top saying by parents for parents. Parents specifically e.g. not just mums.

Yes every once inawhile there will be a thread asking why dads are here because its 'MUMsnet'

Dont get me wrong it would be nice to have the blurb updated, but i doubt it will be a problem.

Some of these comments are just appalling. How will it really affect you if there is a childfree board? There are hundreds of boards on here, if anything the disgusting comments on here reinforce the discrimination some childfree people must encounter. So shocked at so much hate. It's not a pie, other people being here doesn't mean less for you.

Or you could read the multiple posts from mumsnet that clearly state everyone is welcome every time this issue is raised

or just generally be a decent, hospitable person 🤷‍♀️

@Freeballing your post is the exact reason why the extra topic is needed. Being childless isn't the same as being a parent who is at the fair without their children.
As another poster has said, there are loads of issues that childless people have to deal with that parents don't, just like there are loads of issues that parents deal with that childless don't.

But nobody has been able to name those 'loads of issues', going to the fair as a loner weirdo was named as one of those 'loads of issues unique to childfree people', how is it? How is a childfree person going to a fair alone any different to we'll say my dad who hasn't had kids living at home for 20 years going to a fair alone?

Doing that would encourage other people to join and that's not something they're trying to do. There is a difference between "not excluding people" and "actively encouraging people". They, and you, whether you realise it or not, don't want everyone and anyone to join. At the moment there are only a handful of men here, but if they, as a whole, get told they are welcome to join here, this place will become a shit show and there won't be a thing anyone can do about it because the new mission statement says they can be here.

@BadNomad Ah, I can see that. I get that could be the reason for keeping things the same. It's a shame, though.

As someone who struggled with infertility and used to access those boards before I had my children, an area for childless people sounds great.

I used to hate the internet at Christmas as it was very triggering.

Brill idea (and ignore the twats!) ❤️

First and foremost, this is a parenting forum. There might be lots of non parenting topics and that's great, all welcome, but specifically wanting a childfree board on a parenting forum is ridiculous imo.

@FurAndFeathers has already replied to you with some of the issues. Other posters on the thread have also listed some. So people have been able to name those issues it just feels like you are ignoring them and latching onto one single one you have decided is irrelevant in order to somehow prove there is no difference between childless peoples lives and parents lives

And yet still this thread is full of some parents telling us to go away, we aren't welcome here, and they aren't interested in our opinions.

So are we the same, or different.

I do find it odd though that parents are simultaneously telling us we cant have a board because we are too different and we cant have a board because we are too similar.

Theres an entire board just on walt disney world in florida. I feel like wanting a board where people can discuss coming to terms with not being able to have children, or old age plans when you dont have children etc etc is somewhat less ridiculous than a whole board just for one holiday location but there you go

Maybe they should just change the name to peoplenet then 😂