Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

I confess I might lurk!

Well done, musixa. Thank you, Hebe and MNHQ.

I quite like mumsnot to be fair, it'd a good play on words. and tbh childfree/childless are both child centered anyway. there isn't really a good term for women without children that doesn't have mum or child in the term

Fantastic news @HebeMumsnet and thank you
but do you not think the name of the board is a bit of a kick in the teeth to posters who are not child free by choice?

I think punning on the losses of children isn’t exactly in the spirit and unlikely to resonate with those not childfree by choice.

‘Mumsnetters without children’ please.

I know it’s not as snappy but childfree isn’t inclusive of childless posters

@HebeMumsnet so childless posters aren’t welcome then? It’s not exactly the inclusive board to discuss life without children that we requested

A big thank you @HebeMumsnet @LilyMumsnet @musixa and all at MNHQ!

In what way is childfree not inclusive of childless? (Serious question.)

I prefer to describe myself as childfree as childless implies something inherent is lacking within me. (Childless - tilts head, sad face.) I have read similar discussions on here over the years where childless is not the preferred term.

Childfree is reframing it.

do you not think the name of the board is a bit of a kick in the teeth to posters who are not childfree by choice?

Perfectly put - also it reads as Mum Snot which isn’t very nice either.

And that’s great for you but many posters on this thread do feel childless, it’s not a choice and they are coming to terms with it. It only requires a drop of empathy to realise that adjusting your life to living without children when that’s what you had planned does not equate to being happily childfree. The board should be inclusive to both

Plenty of childless Mumsnetters campaigned for this board too.
mare we just ditching them now?

Oh heavens, are you saying I need a drop of empathy? Perhaps advance search my posting history.

I don’t think that women who have struggled through infertility, unsuccessful IVF and/or advanced stage illnesses that mean they will never be able to have a child would be happy to see a MUMSNOT board reminding them that they are NOT a MUM.

Of course they wouldn’t
i’ve already raised this - RTFT

for the same reasons childfree is also inappropriate.

“Mumsnetters without children”was suggested by @musixa and seems appropriate

The two terms have evolved alongside each other and taken on different connotations over time, and not everyone without children would feel comfortable describing themselves as childfree. Everyone can make their personal choice as to what terms they choose for themselves, but "childfree" is often used (especially online) for those who preferred not to have children, or decided to embrace the positive in their situation. Not everyone's comfortable using "childfree" for themselves, maybe because they would've much preferred to have children if they could, or they've been bereaved (at whatever stage), or something else altogether. Personally I don't feel much affinity with either term, because of the reasons behind my intention to not have children.

Yeah actually mumsnet maybe mumsnot isn't the best of names.

Yeah Mumsnot seems to be celebrating not being a mum/parent and I'm sure many childfree/childless posters don't feel that way. Doesn't seem quite inclusive of both.

This is pedantic. It's quite clear that all without children are welcome.

Unless you want to include every possible label so that it becomes like LGBTQIA2+?

I think the argument is that people who see themselves as "childless" don't see themselves as "childfree" and it could be hurtful.

The top of the board literally says it is for childfree posters and the title MumsNot is cruel for those struggling with childlessness.

in what way is that clearly welcoming to childless posters?

I think the argument is that people who see themselves as "childless" don't see themselves as "childfree" and it could be hurtful.

So like I said, should we have a long name to ensure that everyone feels included? Because I don't like 'childless', it has more of a sting to it IMO.

We got the board and now everyone is going to be arguing over the name

Yes a long name. Mumsnetters without children might be better?

I’m just glad we have a board! Thank you MNHQ 🍷

Although I do agree that something like “Mumsnetters without children” might be more inclusive.

No we could use the simple “Mumsnetters without children” title that had been suggested loads and is inclusive and welcoming.

its really not that hard to be nice.

The top of the board literally says it is for childfree posters and the title MumsNot is cruel for those struggling with childlessness.

in what way is that clearly welcoming to childless posters?

So what is your suggestion? It can't just be one word that suits you as it doesn't suit others. So like I said, should it include all of the labels?

CL/CF/MNWOC/MNOT?

It depends, I see myself as both childless and childfree

Childless because of infertility. Childfree because I made the choice to stop before I got to the end of the line e.g. I didn't try donor eggs (in my case the success rate was so minimal as to not be worth it)

Ive seen other people who have been through infertility say the same thing as well.

Honestly Im just happy to have the board snot and all