Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

References to underage sex on Sex board

362 replies

BenCoopersSupportWren · 23/02/2023 23:02

I haven’t been following the Sex topics in Active furore too closely, beyond agreeing on one of the early threads that it would be better for the Board to revert to the way it was - out of Active, with a longer qualifying time to be able to post.

However I’ve just read a thread which, on the face of it, is just reminiscing about posters’ ‘first times’ but which includes numerous disclosures of underage sex, including some that involved grooming, and one or two that are genuinely heartbreaking testimonies of child sexual abuse. They are particularly jarring interspersed as they are between end-of-pier type humour and jokes of others’ experience.

As I just posted there: “there is a reason most ‘mainstream’ dedicated end-user sex sites like Literotica, BDSMLR etc don’t allow stories or posts that are explicit about underage sex even when clearly written by adults, and will remove such posts when brought to the moderators’ attention. I used to work in the CJS and I’m afraid to say that such descriptions - even when expressed in short and simple terms - have currency among paedophiles. Part of my job was keeping the video testimony of CSA victims and any associated transcripts locked away so that they didn’t fall into the wrong hands. Unfortunately it’s not just explicit photos and videos that they get off to.”

For clarity, by “explicit about underage sex” I mean making specific reference to, not that the material has to be particularly sexually explicit. The exact same thread would simply not be allowed to stand on Literotica’s chat forum, for example.

While there have always been examples in other parts of the site of posters making disclosures of having been abused, that is a very different thing to sharing it in a section that only the most naive or wilfully obtuse would deny will be used in part for titillation. My issue isn’t that the thread is particularly sexually explicit - it mostly isn’t, and I’m pretty broad-minded… in context. But no one could argue that “where did you lose your virginity?” is masquerading as a support / how to / informative thread; it’s for entertainment and kicks only, be the latter humour or a sexual thrill. (A few posters on that thread have been supportive to those who disclosed their abuse, but ‘support’ is clearly not the original purpose of the thread.)

IMO it is extremely remiss of MN to disregard the ‘good practice’ rules that other sex sites maintain for handling material relating to references to underage sex/CSA, both because of the type of person attracted to those sites if such rules aren’t in place and from a liability / arse-covering perspective. This, combined with the lack of any age verification or warning for that part of the site, makes it even more obvious that MN don’t understand what is involved in safely and legally hosting a ‘sex chat site’ or part thereof.

OP posts:
MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 23/02/2023 23:04

Completely & utterly agree with you.
They need to sort this out now, not keep dragging their heels.

Lurleene · 23/02/2023 23:06

Very well put.

ImissLemmings · 23/02/2023 23:16

Totally agree 👏

Don’t understand why Mumsnet has suddenly decided to cater to perves, it’s a very odd marketing strategy. I can think of few ways in which they could piss off their target market more.

Rainbowshit · 23/02/2023 23:19

Absolutely agree. I really don't like seeing the sex topics popping up in active.

It's high time they removed it from active and high time they made it easy to hide topics within the app.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 23/02/2023 23:46

I thought the same when I saw that thread earlier but you've articulated it far better than I could have done. Stories of underage sex just shouldn't be hosted and the fact that mumsnet haven't recognised that makes me wonder if they actually have the correct tools to host a sex forum?

pleaseandthankyou45 · 23/02/2023 23:49

Have you reported it OP?

BenCoopersSupportWren · 23/02/2023 23:51

pleaseandthankyou45 · 23/02/2023 23:49

Have you reported it OP?

Yes, I have.

OP posts:
100yearsdotcom · 23/02/2023 23:52

Thank you for articulating this so well. I agree and await a response from mnhq.

BoreOfWhabylon · 23/02/2023 23:56

Thank you OP. Very well expressed

Rogue1001MNer · 23/02/2023 23:58

Interesting

TheShellBeach · 24/02/2023 00:02

Well said, OP.
I hope MNHQ takes action.
But I do not hold out any hope that they will.
They seem to be happy to allow perves on here.

ThaliaLuxurySpa · 24/02/2023 00:10

Very articulate and well-reasoned post, from someone who has professional experience of possible RL consequences.

I totally agree. It is deeply inappropriate to discuss anything connected to under 18s on an adult sex forum).

(It must have been so utterly distressing to hear CSA victims' experiences, OP)

Please take heed, MNHQ.

creepiee · 24/02/2023 00:14

Hid that thread very quickly due to my SA

Genuinely don't know why anyone would want to follow that. Firstly due to the age thing, also just can't comprehend why anyone would be remotely interested (I'm guessing many are, so I'm in the minority)

SquirrelSoShiny · 24/02/2023 00:20

WTAF is going on with @MNHQ atm?!

medianewbie · 24/02/2023 00:25

Very well put OP. As a CSA survivor myself can I just say: 'Thank You' x

lummsnet · 24/02/2023 03:59

Totally agree

Goodread1 · 24/02/2023 04:24

I think what the issue is cause mumsnet is so popular and well known

The negative down side with any social media websites,
Obviously acctract all sorts unfortunately, that includes Freaks with perversion,

I totally agree with your very valid points Op thread too

WombsofWimbledon · 24/02/2023 04:39

You’ve put this respectfully and articulately, and have a very strong point. I really hope that this is considered in the way it should be.

BastardtheCat · 24/02/2023 05:47

Very well written OP and thank you for doing so.

@MNHQ What on Earth is going on?

Stopsnowing · 24/02/2023 05:51

I agree with the OP. Apart from the safety considerations MNHQ should take on Baird that this is damaging their brand. I also go on it less because I don’t like seeing sex pop up in active.

MagentaRocks · 24/02/2023 06:00

Well written op and I absolutely agree. I find it distasteful. Those that have experienced SA will be much more affected.

Hopefully MNHQ will take note but I very much doubt it as they haven't properly addressed concerns on other threads about this. People will start to leave the site at this rate.

Codlingmoths · 24/02/2023 06:01

Extremely well put, thank you!

monomatapea · 24/02/2023 06:06

That is awful - I haven't looked over there so thanks for letting me know what's going on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/02/2023 06:08

MN are sleep-walking into a minefield with the Sex topic at the moment. Hosting dodgy content (as explained in the OP), alienating their core users, changing their business model.

I can't help thinking this is one of those moments we will remember in ten years; we will be on another site saying, "remember Mumsnet?". Which will be a shame since they have been stalwart in many ways.

I'm not sure they can step back now. We will see.

Okunevo · 24/02/2023 06:10

I can't believe the thread is still there. It's so obviously a pedophile magnet.

Swipe left for the next trending thread