Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

References to underage sex on Sex board

362 replies

BenCoopersSupportWren · 23/02/2023 23:02

I haven’t been following the Sex topics in Active furore too closely, beyond agreeing on one of the early threads that it would be better for the Board to revert to the way it was - out of Active, with a longer qualifying time to be able to post.

However I’ve just read a thread which, on the face of it, is just reminiscing about posters’ ‘first times’ but which includes numerous disclosures of underage sex, including some that involved grooming, and one or two that are genuinely heartbreaking testimonies of child sexual abuse. They are particularly jarring interspersed as they are between end-of-pier type humour and jokes of others’ experience.

As I just posted there: “there is a reason most ‘mainstream’ dedicated end-user sex sites like Literotica, BDSMLR etc don’t allow stories or posts that are explicit about underage sex even when clearly written by adults, and will remove such posts when brought to the moderators’ attention. I used to work in the CJS and I’m afraid to say that such descriptions - even when expressed in short and simple terms - have currency among paedophiles. Part of my job was keeping the video testimony of CSA victims and any associated transcripts locked away so that they didn’t fall into the wrong hands. Unfortunately it’s not just explicit photos and videos that they get off to.”

For clarity, by “explicit about underage sex” I mean making specific reference to, not that the material has to be particularly sexually explicit. The exact same thread would simply not be allowed to stand on Literotica’s chat forum, for example.

While there have always been examples in other parts of the site of posters making disclosures of having been abused, that is a very different thing to sharing it in a section that only the most naive or wilfully obtuse would deny will be used in part for titillation. My issue isn’t that the thread is particularly sexually explicit - it mostly isn’t, and I’m pretty broad-minded… in context. But no one could argue that “where did you lose your virginity?” is masquerading as a support / how to / informative thread; it’s for entertainment and kicks only, be the latter humour or a sexual thrill. (A few posters on that thread have been supportive to those who disclosed their abuse, but ‘support’ is clearly not the original purpose of the thread.)

IMO it is extremely remiss of MN to disregard the ‘good practice’ rules that other sex sites maintain for handling material relating to references to underage sex/CSA, both because of the type of person attracted to those sites if such rules aren’t in place and from a liability / arse-covering perspective. This, combined with the lack of any age verification or warning for that part of the site, makes it even more obvious that MN don’t understand what is involved in safely and legally hosting a ‘sex chat site’ or part thereof.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 26/02/2023 09:43

MN was incorporated 23 years ago. Naivety isn’t an acceptable excuse and hasn’t been for a long time.

beastlyslumber · 26/02/2023 09:54

missedthepoint · 26/02/2023 09:18

@JustineMumsnet I rejoined just to reply to your post because I'm so angry at mumsnet.

How can you say this took off overnight? We have been saying for weeks that it is the tone and feel that has changed. All we have been told is hide the topic and don't read it if you don't like, constantly having to face the same few posters making sure they rebutted any criticism we had, both them and mumsnet trying to minimise our comments. Very unhelpful!!

You haven't answered how a sex chat thread where people hook up, including married men is now in the spirit of mumsnet. Do you think we are stupid? As other posters have also pointed out, you have always deleted limerance threads about affairs. Now, you are attracting the same people back to the site. Can you really not see how hypocritically mumsnet comes across? I'm one of the people that asked what your guidelines are. I don't even trust there'll be any protection, because clearly you are still going to welcome the same people who are attracted to a sex chat thread on a (mainly) women's forum.

I'm not at all convinced that you haven't attracted any new posters to mumsnet as a result of the sex chat. However, even if that is true, I dread to think where and what they have been posting and using for wank fodder. I know at least one used to post in a long standing thread in Relationships, but he was asked not to post there anymore because he upset a lot of posters. It doesn't surprise me at all that he is now in the sex forum. Just trying to be your every day kind of guy and failing at every turn .....

Mumsnet was the one place on the internet where I and I know others still felt safe. We know it's on the internet, we know the Daily Hate will pick up stories, but there was something still protected about being here. You've blown that. It was part of the USP of Mumsnet, and it's gone. I sure hope whatever business plans you have for mumsnet takes that into account.

It's awful how badly MN have got this wrong. If there's no advertising contract, surely it can all be reversed? I don't think MN have any real understanding of what they've done here.

onirgellep · 26/02/2023 10:19

beastlyslumber · 26/02/2023 09:54

It's awful how badly MN have got this wrong. If there's no advertising contract, surely it can all be reversed? I don't think MN have any real understanding of what they've done here.

I'm not sure if I agree with you about MN not really understanding what they've done in the light of Justine's overnight volte face between her 2 messages - after days/weeks of deflection/diversionary tactics

Apart from the people planning to leave others were thinking about stopping their premium subscriptions - I noticed looking for something else that MN currently has 8 million unique monthly visitors [maybe they're measuring it differently] but IIRC wasn't the much quoted figure always 10 million?

bettathanetta · 26/02/2023 12:35

I've got a question courtesy of a reddit thread - why have new registrations been locked?

References to underage sex on Sex board
justasking111 · 26/02/2023 15:38

bettathanetta · 26/02/2023 12:35

I've got a question courtesy of a reddit thread - why have new registrations been locked?

House keeping of existing new members, extra checks being put in place. It'll all take time to sort out

BoreOfWhabylon · 26/02/2023 17:24

It's not like that now.

They sometimes do it overnight when trolls are being particularly troublesome.

TheShellBeach · 26/02/2023 18:11

How can you say this took off overnight? We have been saying for weeks that it is the tone and feel that has changed. All we have been told is hide the topic and don't read it if you don't like, constantly having to face the same few posters making sure they rebutted any criticism we had, both them and mumsnet trying to minimise our comments. Very unhelpful!!Blimey this is hard going.

Yes indeed. I am fed up with having to read comments by the same few posters.

FictionalCharacter · 26/02/2023 20:15

@missedthepoint I completely agree. It would have been nice to have somewhere free of the trolls and the pornsick, but we can even have that even though those people have the rest of the internet to play with.

SlaveToTheVibe · 26/02/2023 20:36

Well I’m off and have signed up to femvox.net set up by MN refugees

none of this bloody bullshit on there

scrumpf · 26/02/2023 22:13

Justine I'm not being critical but how do you access anything other than via active when you're on the app? Do you think about the app users at all?

I can't use the main site it crashes my old phone.

colouringindoors · 26/02/2023 23:57

I use MN less and less these days. The tone has changed and not in a good way.

I'm pleased the Sex topic has been removed from Active, but honestly it should never have been there. The no. of days needs to go up from 7. The hook-up thread needs to go. And mumsnet you really need to review your Safeguarding approach given that underage sex thread.

@BIWI @OhYouBadBadKitten please do pm me if you move away from here.

TheShellBeach · 26/02/2023 23:59

colouringindoors · 26/02/2023 23:57

I use MN less and less these days. The tone has changed and not in a good way.

I'm pleased the Sex topic has been removed from Active, but honestly it should never have been there. The no. of days needs to go up from 7. The hook-up thread needs to go. And mumsnet you really need to review your Safeguarding approach given that underage sex thread.

@BIWI @OhYouBadBadKitten please do pm me if you move away from here.

Try femvox.net

New posts on this thread. Refresh page