MNHQ - are they disabilist?

[Sixweekstowait]

Having had a thread deleted with no communication with me until I asked ( but then I'm disabled and so invisible) , having read on the second class citizen thread of examples of disabilist language which HQ defend, I am beginning to think they are. I now think they were really really wrong to delete my thread and that they have NO IDEA about the everyday discrimination that people with disabilities face in even trying to travel to work, care even less and I would like to know how many of their staff are disabled?

[Wolfiefan]

Bourdic I'm sure I saw your thread.
Some people are arseholes. I'm pretty sure smiling sweetly and making delicate requests doesn't make them any less of an arsehole.
I'm so sorry you are in pain and suffering. If you have never suffered like this (or seen a loved one suffer) you can have no idea.
I am much better now. But I had an awful back problem. Sounds trite and simply remedied but oh fuck the pain. Nerve pain. I remember wishing everyone could have 30 seconds of it. Just so they understood.
I'm a bitch though!

[lougle]

I don't think that's terribly fair, tbh. I think the truth is that people who are angry about stuff that doesn't matter and post unpleasantly can be rounded on and it all gets a bit bunfighty but the worst that happens is some pride is injured because it never mattered in the first place.

But people who are angry about stuff that Matters and post unpleasantly get rounded on by people who don't stop to think about the fact that this is something that Matters and it descends into a boiling pot of rage and MNHQ find themselves in the middle of a war with no winners. And let's face it, it does get nasty on all fronts when it gets going.

[ilovesooty]

I only saw the first part of the thread so I didn't see where it went before it was deleted. However I said on the thread and I still feel that anyone with an ounce of empathy ought to have been able to take on board that Bourdic was angry, frustrated, distressed and at the end of her tether, and I suspect the thread was derailed by people choosing to take offence to one term she used.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

I think HQ do their best and have got a lot better. They were woefully slow to catch on and it was because some posters got Fucking Angry™ and didn't stop complaining that attitudes changed.

Fwiw there are some monumental twats on here at the moment. They fall into two camps, the trolls and the hard of thinking/unable to comprehend the basic gist of a thread (there's also the third lot who only read the op and then are sk fantastically self important they can't spare the rest of us their ill-informed ponderings... but they were always around). Some of this shittiness is coming from them. In fact I'd say most of it.

I also don't think it's your responsibility to engage with shittiness in a particularly polite way. In fact you can react any way you jolly well like.

There needs to something done about the shittiness. Maybe a "we've noticed you post like a cunt" email from MNHQ? Or a PM?

Three strikes and you're out. Because I'm heartily sick of reading disablist posts but I'm also sick of the general twat-badgery that is puked all over the boards at the moment.

I'm with you op. You don't need to be nice if you're right. Be angry, get angry, get things changed for the better ✊

[ilovesooty]

Oh and I don't think MNHQ are disablist but I think the derailing behaviour of a range of posters probably put them in a dreadful position.

[JangleBangle]

I understand your anger, your pain, your frustration and your questioning whether there has been unfair deleting and maybe even disabilist behaviour.
My 21 year old DS is a wheelchair user and is a very angry young man at the moment. He has experienced similar things to you and gets so frustrated by the barriers and hurdles some people throw at him, whether through ignorance, selfishness, a lack of understanding or disrespect. What angers him most though is what he calls "tone police" where he is told to calm down, stop swearing,be polite, etc. It happens to him far more often than his brother and I too think it is disabilist.

[Pagwatch]

Yes ilovesooty.

The levels of indignation at her use of 'walkie talkie' are interesting to me when I've spent the afternoon on a thread with posters being incensed that I dislike someone with serious mental health issues being described as a loony.

[Samcro]

why don't mn hq stand up to the derailers who turn a thread into a bunfight?
why bow down to the offended able bodied in this case.....and delete thread.\why shouldn't a disabled person be angry and post in anger?
we have threads where the very title says something like "aibu to hit my dh" (made up but i have seen similar) and they are allowed.

[Samcro]

was "walkie talkie" what offended.??? please tell me it wasnt

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I think there is no way able bodied people could have been so genuinely offended by that phrase. Totally disingenuous outrage IMO.

[Sixweekstowait]

Olivia - you could have commented on the thread and and reminded people of the guidelines and asked them to play nicely, you could have emailed me that you were going to delete the thread , you could explain why you let posts with disabilist language stand despite complaints but jumped on my phrase immediately . On my deleted thread there were some dreadful
disabilist posts and rather than deal with those posters, you criticise me and delete the whole thread. I'm not sure that you are really upto speed with the whole disability debate - most people aren't. You can read for yourself the patronising comments being directed at me in this thread - but I think they are useful in illustrating how institutionalised disabilism
Is in our society and therefore on MN and they therefore contribute to the debate and the learning that needs to take place, have you read the second class person thread about having a disability? There are far more eloquent posters on there than me and some very trenchant criticisms of HQ's s attitude towards disabilism

[JangleBangle]

I've just remembered a time when we called into high school for a meeting with DS's teacher and SENCO because he had apparently not said thank you when another pupil opened the door for him. This was considered rude and arrogant. The funny thing was that we were never once called into school about his older brother's swearing, being rude, drawing obscene things on text books, etc. But of course my disabled DS should be thankful, grateful and behave at all times.
Sorry if I have derailed your thread!

[PurpleDaisies]

I suspect the thread was derailed by people choosing to take offence to one term she used.

Is it not possible that posters were genuinely offended at how bourdic was referring to them? I wasn't happy with the phrase the op used but agreed with the rest of the post (that she had been treated really badly). I'm sure that there are posters that love to be offended just so they can start a bunfight for the fun of it, but I don't think it's right to say all the people who disagreed with the op's description of non-disabled people were just making trouble and derailing the thread.

[Wolfiefan]

I hope I wasn't being patronising. Certainly wasn't my intention.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Many were though

[ilovesooty]

Yes Samcro it was.

[Samcro]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2653006-Non-sharing-and-rudeness-at-play-park-special-needs

im just looking at this thread and shouting double standards

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

X posted. I was answering purple

[Samcro]

good god so walkie talkie is offensive!! to who??
why?

[ilovesooty]

I'm sure that there are posters that love to be offended just so they can start a bunfight for the fun of it, but I don't think it's right to say all the people who disagreed with the op's description of non-disabled people were just making trouble and derailing the thread

Purple I do acknowledge that I'm supposing here - I was only there for the first part of it, but it did seem to me that some posters were set to derail for the sake of it.

[Pagwatch]

I think this thread rather illustrates the OPs point. She was very quickly told it was not her place to be angry. Her job is to be nice enough for people to want to engage with her. Being angry meant she would be ignored.

You know, like rich white men are? Oh...wait..

[Sixweekstowait]

And for those of you who don't understand, you can be disabilist even if you don't mean to be. Perception is all - and that goes for HQ as well

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

it did seem to me that some posters were set to derail for the sake of it.

That's trolling in my book. Trolls need to be banned.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

When nice, reasonable debate fails the next step is anger. That's how civilised society effects change. Might not be nice to admit but it is the truth.

I don't see why a victim of discrimination needs to be held to higher accountant then those in a privileged position. That's just bonkers.

[Sixweekstowait]

Samcro - thanks for linking that thread. It made me rethink how I felt about the deletion and it was axrealmeye opener. I hope Olivia reads it as I think it would foster some understanding of where some of us are coming from