MNHQ - are they disabilist?

[Sixweekstowait]

Having had a thread deleted with no communication with me until I asked ( but then I'm disabled and so invisible) , having read on the second class citizen thread of examples of disabilist language which HQ defend, I am beginning to think they are. I now think they were really really wrong to delete my thread and that they have NO IDEA about the everyday discrimination that people with disabilities face in even trying to travel to work, care even less and I would like to know how many of their staff are disabled?

[Pagwatch]

Bibbity

There are a few generic terms that I've heard groups of people with disabilities use about the non disabled population.

I don't know where they come from. I suspect a few grow out of the desire not to always be the group with the name that isn't just 'people'
I've seen people with aspergers use 'norms' . Walkie talkies is just like that I guess.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

True Pagwatch.

I think people just always look for a stick to beat people with on AIBU and it's awful awful ut especially when some compassion is needed like this situation.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Sorry that should have said it's "always awful"

[civilfawlty]

RebeccaMumsnet - my strong advice would be to do something more deliberate and considered than assuming because you have some people with disabilities on your team that you have this covered. As an organisation of immense power, who regularly are called on to voice women's/ mothers' perspectives, it would be much better to have a group for whom this is their lives experience to advise you.

This isn't about how compassionate or understanding you are, or try to be. It is about your responsibilities to your community and beyond.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Need a like button for that post

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Got you Pag. I honestly had never heard it before. I live in a rarified world of privilige.

[Pagwatch]

God me too Bibbs. We must lunch darling...

[Waltermittythesequel]

I thinks it's all the ridiculous "use one syllable words because I'm disabled" stuff that is off putting.

It's unnecessary and unfair to people who haven't done anything to you.

Same as your original thread. You came on and slated able bodied people and the posters who agreed with you about how terrible your experience was (and of course it was) gently reminded you that they weren't disablist.

FWIW you really upset a poster who had a child with a hidden disability and you didn't apologise or even acknowledge that your attitude to disabilities that weren't your own was insulting, rude and upsetting.

So, I'm sorry but your blue badge isn't a get out of jail free card. You don't get to offend, insult and upset people because you had a bad experience and are angry.

[civilfawlty]

*lived, not lives. Sorry.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

She probably didn't even see that she had upset the poster due to the tide of criticism, Walter. Much of it from you, wading in and demanding apology here and on the original thread, tbh.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Slating able bodied Posters? Your blue badge isn't a get out of jail free card?

Anyway glad you came along and gave another example of OP's treatment on the deleted thread. Illustrated the point beautifully

[Pagwatch]

See Walter I didn't witness a great deal of 'gentle' pointing out.
And a poster coming on who is distressed and angry is usually allowed to express that. The thread I read with the poster calling a man with mental illness a loony and nuts remains filled with posters saying 'but she's just venting' . I've seen posts about wanting to punch their partner in the face that have been treated more sympathetically

The etiquette of posting when pissed off is always a factor but there does seem to be a double standard.

There was a great deal of outrage that she was expressing anger rather than being helpless and grateful for support.

[Waltermittythesequel]

Wading in and demanding apology?

Have you confused me with someone else??

But then; this is your form isn't it? I have seen you for years now jumping all over posters who post innocent, innocuous questions regarding SN.

And I have said on here before, I have a much loved autistic nephew who has a slew of complex needs.

And I don't appreciate people like the OP being so disdainful of his need for bb spaces because he looks ok. But I don't blame everyone with a physical disability for the behaviour of one or two.

As I said in the first thread; my child was terrified by being verbally attacked by a man in a wheelchair once for literally no reason. That man had to be removed by security. Do I blame every single man I see in a wheelchair? Of course I bloody don't.

Don't even start with me. I am not disablist or an apologist.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Walter,.no I saw you demanding an apology from the OP on the previous thread.

[Waltermittythesequel]

I do think at the start it was gentle, yes Pag. And every post she'd had before that had been rightly very supportive.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

And indeed you are demanding an apology again today from her. Point made,

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

Half the problem is that if people put up disablist posts (and there's fucking loads at the moment - probably from the bloody Daily Mail coverage) all that happens is the post gets deleted. As far as I can see, the poster is just free to keep on posting, or more likely just name change and keep on posting).

Absolutely agree with the three strikes and you're out approach - if people say disablist stuff (or racist or homophobic etc) they aren't the type of posters we want on MN, surely? There doesn't seem to be any action taken against the posters, just the posts, and this needs addressing. I also think the NC facility should be suspended after a deletion for disablism so it would be a lot clearer to other posters if a certain poster is a problem.

The other half of the problem is double standards, and whilst I think MNHQ don't actually mean to be disablist, they let a lot of stuff stand which shouldn't but are quick to delete other stuff. That SN in the park thread was a horror, if anything should be deleted that should - an AIBU with SN in the title, and the post itself was pretty much a shout out to disablist people to congregate. That poster who called Fanjo a fucking twat should be banned - and this is just for a start! Just one example. That thread was full of horrible offensive postsand goady posters.

I also think we need some awareness around adults with disabilities - all MNHQ seem to be able to do these days is link to This Is My Child.

Disablist posts and attitudes are really rife on MN ATM - I've not even had a reply to my reports as far as I can see. It feels unwelcoming, it's certainly getting me down and it reflects badly on the site as a whole. It definitely needs action and addressing - not just copying users posts and saying "this" or saying chase me if I forget to sort something. It's actually quite surprising to me that MNHQ are acting like this - normally I have nothing but praise for them and think they do a bloody difficult job. But this doesn't seem to be taken seriously and I'm sure lots of us feel either un heard or silenced.

[Waltermittythesequel]

Eh no you didn't!!!

I have never demanded an apology. You're either lying to get at me or you're confusing me with someone else.

[Waltermittythesequel]

And indeed you are demanding an apology again today from her. Point made,

What??

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

Anyone who uses "play the xxx card" is already being unreasonable, IMHO. It's such a shitty thing to say.

Well, what's the betting this thread gets deleted to. I've reported my earlier post. It will be interesting to see what happens.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

reported post (direct link)

Waltermittythesequel (Wed 08-Jun-16 09:46:50):

I understand that. However, when my scared five year old was being screamed at, I didn't give a shite that it hadn't happened to him before and probably wouldn't since. I was so, so upset and furious. I still, even in that moment, wouldn't slam every disabled person and use a derogatory term.Look, this isn't even an issue in the big picture. But OP would get a lot further and a lot more sympathy if she wasn't so bloody nasty. And regardless of whether other people think it's offensive, she has offended people. She needs to apologise.

The last line. Direct copy and paste. Don't appreciate being accused of lying.

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

Too

[Waltermittythesequel]

We have very different ideas of "demanding" fanjo!

Where's the demand for an apology? Where is it on this thread?

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

And Walter having a nephew with autism may give you some insight, but you simply won't understand what it's like to live as a disabled adult and the problems we face.

It's a bit like "some of my best friends are black".

You don't understand and your posts demonstrate this.

[Pagwatch]

WalterMitty

We'll have to disagree. I didn't think there was much gentle posting on the thread.

She didn't pick on him because he didn't look disabled. She was fucked off because he was the latest in a regular morning blocking of a blue badge place by van drivers and taxis that don't have blue badges.