Do you think it's a good idea to have a non-public, password-protected area for special needs parents to vent?

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on for the discussion on this thread we'd like to know your thoughts.
For a little while now some of our special needs parents have said they don't feel Mumsnet is working for them in certain situations when they need to vent/rant/talk honestly about their situations and we've been thinking about whether there's anything structurally we can do to help. We feel very strongly that the special needs boards are a core part of Mumsnet and indeed for most of the last six years have been an exemplar of what we're all about - a place where parents can gain support and tap the experience of others to make their lives' easier. That said, we do understand that special needs parents are under extraordinary pressure and therefore more than most could do with a bit of privacy to vent when needed.
One idea that has been raised is a private, password-protected area for special needs parents on Mumsnet. This area would not be automatically visible to all but those who wanted to join could do so - though obviously you wouldn't have to join to discuss special needs - the existing public boards would remain. Clearly this is a break from the norm for Mumsnet and in some ways it feels an anathema because as we all know Mumsnet is an open forum and free access to all who need it is one of our underlying principles. But it's clear the current format is not working for many and if it's not helpful then we need to change things. We've thought about it a lot and feel it could be worth a try.
So what do you think? Special needs crowd, would this work for you do you think? Would you use it? NT parents how do you feel about it? Is it worth a go?
Let us know...
Thanks,
Mumsnet Towers

Tech promising the active conversations modification tonight. Thanks for that suggestion.

I think the prime concern should be the wishes of those parents who have kids with SN, agree that Georgina's idea is a good one.

I am so glad justine...as mumsnet is where i like to be......i have tried many other forums...but this is the only one i like . I like to know that it's not just SN parents etc....it keeps me intouch with RL!!!

I think it's a very very specific area of having a SN child that is being talked of here.

For example - I would always post about issues to do with DS's leg on the open board. A dodgy leg is something that people in general can get hold of in their minds, it involves a lot of 'practical' rather than emotional issues, and at times when I have become very emotionally upset over a particular aspect of it, posters-at-larg have been extremely helpful to me. The effect of a particular post by Soapbox will stay with me for ever.

But I think the very personal reactions of parents of children with neurological, sensory and other issues is something they feel a need to be a little more private about at times.

if i am repeating a previous question --

2 of my friends have kids with SN - i like looking at the SN boards as i can learn a lot about my friends children's and so many other interesting and important things about children with SN

just like i enjoy reading the b.f threads as i am learning a lot from them....even though i'm not breastfeeding

will we no longer be able to look at the SN boards at all?

if this is down to nasty and provocative comments...can those posters not be removed from MN or the SN boards rather than taking SN out of the MN arena?

sorry if that is reiterating a point already made

OK....from tonight...i WILL BE BACK!I will give it another go- i used to post every day....it often felt like an online diary...i'd sometimes search my old posts...and read them...and then raelise i had movd forward etc....so very theraputic.

I would like my MUMSNET therapy to be at my beck and call again!

I am sure that many of the SN posters will gain confidence again...and return.

lulu...no...sn will stillbe there...but not listed in the active conversations...if you click the 'by topic' link you will find us!

I'm a newbie to MN, but not to motherhood, nor to internet forums. Seems to me that what (some) SN parents are asking for is a place of sanctuary, somewhere that will offer absolute acceptance and understanding in times of stress, and the relief that brings. From what I've been reading there was a time when MN provided this, but this has been compromised over time - regrettable but unsurprising given the growth in numbers. To offer sanctuary for those who are feeling particularly exposed - as well as, rather than instead of, the open boards - contained within the MN boundaries seems reasonable to me.

Lulumama - no, it is not being suggested that the public SN board be removed.

And it isn't specific 'nasty posters' or anything like that, it's the constant low-level of stuff.....it's all explained in this and other threads abut this.

A brilliant plan, i really hope this works out well for everyone. i'll continue to peek into SN though, if everyone doesn't mind.

THANK YOU to Blu and Mrs forgetful for the clarification......

I'm glad the password protected board is being set up. At the end of the day I don't think parents of SN kids are there to provide a public education service to other folks. The main reason of the board is to offer support and assistance to those of us living with this on a day to day basis. Sorry but thats how I feel. I have enough to deal with confronting teachers, other parents, my own relatives (!!) etc in RL plus dealing with ds who can be very challenging. Some people just don't get it and I don't want to get into any further upsetting arguments. I only have a limited amount of energy after all!!!

Personally i think the idea is shite. Sorry, but it's another way of segregating and putting Sn needs in the background. We alerady chat off coard, but there needs to be discussions in the mainstream so people can read, learn, contribute, understand. Plus, I have NT kid too; I don't want to have to mention him in some palces, not in others.

Just my opinion of course, but unlikely (OK will not) use a password protected area

is the password protected area being set up as well? i thought we were going to give the 'active convos' thing a try first...

I thought it was just a suggestion at the moment and not actually happening.
I thought it was being taken off active convos to start with and we'd see how it went from there????

Peachy, your posts chime with something I was just thinking, too. To me, with NT children, dyslexia is a special need, as I'm sure it is to parents of children with dyslexia, but clearly if your child has profound learning disabilities and is wheelchair bound then dyslexia won't seem such a bad thing. This is just a random example, but I was just thinking it would be a shame if people felt they couldn't request a password and post because they weren't sure the SN in question was bad enough. On the other hand it's none of my business....

I think it's very valid tamum, also what you said about being able to contribute occasionally about genetics. I very very occasinally have soemthing to say about SN from my own experience (statementing, funding, DS), but obviosuly I wouldn't get a password.
Also, I tend to send links to others of threads that they might contribute to or learn from, and that won't happen any more, which would be a shame.

Ah, sorry, just seen Blu saying on the other thread that there will still be a public SN section too, so my last comment is irrelevant.

Sorry, cross posted harpsi- yes, my feelings about that haven't changed. I just can't shake off this uneasiness about the whole idea of SN being hidden away, for all I appreciate the need for a yurt.

is it irrelevant? I'm not sure it is. once thigns are segragated, then that will have a knock on effect imo.
anyway, none of my business either.

No segregation - still a public board, to which everyone can contribute - just an additional 'yurt'.

And afaik, it hasn't been decided anyway!

Why have a private area for SN. Do they already not get segregated and discriminated against in the real world. I feel that the SN boards provide an education for all people that maybe do not understand specific SN and would be to afraid to ask. MN is for everyone so a password would be ridiculous! IMO

it would be in addition to the general sn's board and is for parents who have delicate matters or where they can moan / rant without feeling uncomfortable. If a select number of mums in SN's want it and mumsnet say ok why would anyone stand in the way?

Just a thought: would there be any advantage to the SN yurt being set up so that everyone can read the messages but only people with a password can post?
This way people in need of help can access the info, the wider community who would like to be educated can still learn from it, and there wouldn't be paranoia about what was being said in the secret area. However, it would prevent ignorant people like myself from chipping in accidentally with unhelpful comments.

but if it was being used for letting off steam and other MNers could see it, what's to stop the others starting Chat threads along the lines of 'did you see what went on in the SN Yurt today?'