Do you think it's a good idea to have a non-public, password-protected area for special needs parents to vent?

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on for the discussion on this thread we'd like to know your thoughts.
For a little while now some of our special needs parents have said they don't feel Mumsnet is working for them in certain situations when they need to vent/rant/talk honestly about their situations and we've been thinking about whether there's anything structurally we can do to help. We feel very strongly that the special needs boards are a core part of Mumsnet and indeed for most of the last six years have been an exemplar of what we're all about - a place where parents can gain support and tap the experience of others to make their lives' easier. That said, we do understand that special needs parents are under extraordinary pressure and therefore more than most could do with a bit of privacy to vent when needed.
One idea that has been raised is a private, password-protected area for special needs parents on Mumsnet. This area would not be automatically visible to all but those who wanted to join could do so - though obviously you wouldn't have to join to discuss special needs - the existing public boards would remain. Clearly this is a break from the norm for Mumsnet and in some ways it feels an anathema because as we all know Mumsnet is an open forum and free access to all who need it is one of our underlying principles. But it's clear the current format is not working for many and if it's not helpful then we need to change things. We've thought about it a lot and feel it could be worth a try.
So what do you think? Special needs crowd, would this work for you do you think? Would you use it? NT parents how do you feel about it? Is it worth a go?
Let us know...
Thanks,
Mumsnet Towers

Justine, hope you don't mind me cutting and pasting my reply on the other thread:

Surely a simpler solution would be to just remove SN boards from active conversations and find new post searches so you have to specifically go into the SN section? I'm sure more than half the waders in are people who see it under active conversations, see the headline but don't actually even notice it's on the SN boards.

Having it off active conversations just means that those who are genuinely interested come and find it rather than people bored on a Friday night looking for any thread to contribute to. No entry requirements or worries if you "qualify". Those of us who genuinely want to be educated/like to know how people are getting on can still keep up with you guys. You get the support and community you need without being totally cut off.

There's potential too for the Feeling Depressed boards to work the same way, I imagine.

(oh, I am an NT parent, but who has had worries about ds1 in the past and had excellent advice from the SN crowd, and also have learned a lot from the SN boards and would hate to lose them.)

I agree with Georgina, I do think an awful lot of people post on the sn threads because they've seen them on active convos. If you had to actively go into special needs to post I don't imagine a lot of people who arn't really interested would end up there.

Maybe something we could try first before any more drastic actions like password protected areas are tried?

As a parent of an NT child, I don't object at all to having a password-protected SN area (although I think it's very sad that things have reached this point).

But I like Georgina's idea very much.

(I'm a sn mum, I've never had any problems posting there, but have been angered by some of the posts directed at others in the past.)

this has been discussed before. where someone made a wonderful post along the lines of - as its open to everyone - its very imformative.

look, i am sorry i have ried reading the thread - its cryptic - llike everyone knows about some situation or other i dont.

has something gone on to provoke this whole situation.

can someone explain why SN childrens problems need more protection than everyone else and their childrens problems?

its a genuine question so a genuine response would be nice instead of someone shouting at me as per blummin usual these days

FWIW I agree with Georgina's suggestion. I have definitely learnt things I wouldn't otherwise know from reading through SN threads, would be a shame if we couldn't look at them at all.

Hmmm,a tricky one.
I honestly think that the SN board educates parents of children who are NT in a way that was unimaginable even 15 years ago,which is a fantastic bonus aside from the its primary function as a forum for the 'SN community'.

As a salt in the field of PMLD it is amazing to see how much more 'au' 'fait' parents are with the implications of,approaches to and terminology of this area, which is fantastic for all concerned.

You caould censor/monitor but where do you draw the line?
Someone coming on saying gratuitously offensive things is not the same as someone coming on questioning funding provision for children with ASD for example,although argably the latter could be far more upsetting.

I offer no solution but it will be intersting to see what happens.

It is a brilliant resource btw.

I would find it very sad, that the SN children and Parents were locked away somewhere. Has all sorts of connotations imo.

I am very interested in the needs of SN parents and their children.

Would you have to prove that you have an SN child before you are allowewd in?
How would you do this?

I like Georgianas suggestion btw

I like Georgina's suggestion too.

Another vote for Georgina's suggestion here. Agree it could work well for the Feeling Depressed topic too.

I agree it's very useful in educating the rest of us, and it would be a shame to go backwards on that.

But I do understand that the SN mums sometimes have to endure unfair criticism from people who don't understand what it's like for them.

Could we not leave it open as it is now, but have moderators on the SN topic? It doesn't mean we have to have mods on the other topics.

To be clear - this would not be instead of the special needs boards but in addition to - ie newcomers would still have somewhere to join when they arrived and I'd imagine a lot of the discussion would carry on exactly as before. Right now, though, a lot of our SN parents have told us they don't feel comfortable posting things that might be controversial or very personal and as a result are using msn to do so. We think this might be the time to try something a bit different that in effect is what they are already doing - but allowing them a safe haven on Mumsnet to do it... or it might not be...

perhaps we could do both? - an area to rant and a general area for everyone to view? I honestly feel it's a terrible shame if SN children/parents feel on here they have to be locked away. also they do bring a lot of knowledge to parents with concerns over their children so how would those who are concerend have access to the area if it was passworded iycwim - unless u emailed towers to ask for the p/w, which in it's self might be abused if theres a thread which someone dislikes it could end up like the ghost thead did.

Message withdrawn

I too don't know whats gone on but do like to keep up with snippets of information not only about different conditions and set backs but also how individual people and their children are doing. Sometimes they have good news sometimes they don't. But it's just great to keep up with things.

But on the otherhand if the SN board feel they need password protection then let them have it. But it does close them off to the rest of us so our lack of knowledge becomes greater.

Moderators are problematic for a couple of reasons in our opinion.
First, legally, if you moderate you become more liable for what appears on the site in the eyes of the court - which is something, obviously, we need to be keenly aware of right now.
Second, we think it would be nigh on impossible to draw the line about what's acceptable and what's not - what the SN parents are saying (please correct me if I'm wrong folks) is that they'd like a place where they don't have to argue about semantics, justify, explain stuff to the wider world all the time - somewhere to let off steam about their particular issues without causing offense. Once you start moderating because of offense caused however, it becomes almost impossible to draw the line and you get into very difficult decisions about who's hurt feelings are valid and who's are not. (Speaking from bitter experience here ).

I agree with others here, as a parent with NT child I find the SN boards (and the people who post on them) bring a richness and depth to MN that would be sorely missed if they were in their own area. Only a half thought out idea - but why not bring back mods for those boards so that if it really kicks off threads can be locked/deleted or whatever?

crossed posts - goog points Justine...

can you answer my questions Justine?

Message withdrawn

ElleMac - we wouldn't ask people to prove they had a sn child and obviously there would be no way of knowing - but it would be pretty clear pretty quick I'd imagine if anyone joined for stirring/malicious purposes and they could be asked to leave.

Honestly though,how many people come on for purely malicious purposes????!!!

Let's not get tooo dramatic.

Oh I don't know, I think the idea sucks..it feels wrong. It does not feel like the spirit of Mn but then again maybe that spirit is changing and that is what really sucks..the fact that there would even be a thought that this may be a need iykwym

personally i dont think " other people just dont undertand us and our problems" is good enough to be honest.

by locking SN away - they never will understand.