The lady whose waters broke at 18 weeks ...

[Theyvallgone]

She delivered her baby at 28 weeks-ish ... I can't find her thread to see how her and baby are doing :( I posted on it, but can't see it in 'im on' and when I do a search it looks like it might have been deleted?

Can't stop thinking about this lady bless her! Can anyone help?

stillin Yes, my nephew was born on the the 27th Nov. That's almost what has sealed it in my mind as being too much of a coincidence.

Just spotted this, I hope mnhq come back with some answers.

Allstop- it really does beggar belief that it's not the same person doesn't it? I remember the thread very well and was struck by the way she expressed herself. Seeing her now on OBEM it all fitted. I hope mnhq can sort it out and if they were wrong do something about it like a donation to an appropriate charity - involve her in the choice if she's willing. I know coincidences happen but I do keep thinking about this although I appreciate the damage untrue threads can cause

Yeah, I have to hope that it was someone close but not directly involved that was posting and the MN were right in their actions in this particular case.

Am I the only one who thinks the poor woman was shown posting on MN during labour? When she grinned at her husband and showed him her phone? It looked like MN to me.

I thought that to three, I still really struggling to find anything to say she was a troll

I followed the thread and was shocked when it was pulled. The whole thing is really upsetting.

Agree with northern lurked it's possible that although the situation was real, the poster wasn't the person it was happening to? Just had a memory of someone I used to work with and a particularly awful situation where there was a bit of, I don't know, "vicarious grieving" going on. Don't want to go into too much detail, but it is a possibility.

Tough calls for MNHQ - so many dubious threads have been left to stand that they must have had good reasons to pull, but such fine margins aren't they?

There's no way it's a coincidence.

I also highly doubt a friend or neighbour was retelling this girl's story for attention. I followed the thread and it was full of detail because she was in hospital having lots of scans, pools of fluid being checked etc.

I think it's more likely that MN royally screwed this one up. There's no way their troll hunting techniques are completely failsafe.

However, this looks like a major fuck up and support was withdrawn from a woman when she needed it most. Not only that, but she was branded a liar. That's awful, and so I think MN really need to return to this thread for a discussion.

MMHQ do make mistakes though, I know two instances where threads were deleted that were absolutely above board.

I hope this isn't the case here, as that it would be terribly sad to imagine someone having that support pulled at the time they needed it most.

I had major surgery a few years ago, and had to learn to walk again, control my bladder, everything...it was an ordeal.

A friend turned up after three weeks of not visiting and said she'd kept up to date by reading my online updates. I was baffled. Turns out, the lady in the bed next to me had started diarising what was happening. She could hear all the conversations when doctors came to talk to me, she could see me doing physio, and she got "extra" detail on how I was feeling by talking to me (as you do with the person in long-term hospital next to you).

She was sad that I found out, but said it started as something to do, and then the support she got kept her distracted from what she was going through herself. She even tried to twist it into being something I could read through and use as a memoir, or for support.

MNHQ may have seen that the poster had the same IP address as someone else, or was posting about a different scenario as a namechange...There must have been something to make them think that she had set out to deceive. That's not an easy conclusion to reach.

Hello

Right - so we've had a good dig about and we're extremely sorry to say that it looks as though we made a horrible mistake here.

There was a lot of unrest on the boards at the time about possible trolls, especially those posting about premature births and/or bereavement. When we looked into nobblybobbly19, our back end systems flagged a connection to previously banned posters. These connections aren't failsafe indicators that someone's a troll, but we were on high alert for returning trolls posting about these sorts of topics, so we - unusually - erred on the side of suspicion and deleted the thread.

We didn't hear any more about it from nobblybobbly19 - quite often, if we ban people in error, we'll be contacted by them asking what's going on, but that didn't happen here. Obviously, in this case this was probably because nobblybobbly19 had many more important things on her mind, but it also means we weren't prompted to review the decision until now.

So overall it looks like a few factors (our back end systems indicating a match with banned posters, the broader context of returning banned posters starting threads about premature births/bereavement, and the OP being understandably preoccupied) led to us making a horrible wrong decision and not realising that we'd done so.

We will contact nobblybobbly19 to apologise.

Huge apologies all round.

Thanks Rowan.

Thank you for admitting fault, although I'm not to sure how or what could make this up to nobbly :( this may be a good time to issue a thread explaining what the effects of jumping to conclusions on these forums can lead to, and that just because a thread has been pulled there is no need for mumsnetters to then start another thread about it calling her the names that we did and insuating that she is anyway shape or form attention seeking and mentally unstable. I am in no way saying that I did not feel like this when we all heard it was a 'troll' just that we should use this as a lesson and try not to let it happen again. I really hope that she never saw this thread and that they are coping as well as a couple can that have lost a baby :( rip Ollie James

Poor nobblybobbly .
I hope she found support elsewhere.

Blame "MultipleMama". Her banning happened around the same time, IIRC, and she'd been trolling MN with increasingly outlandish tales of back-to-back multiple pregnancies/premature births for years. The narrative of the thread that lead to her lies being uncovered was heading for a premature baby death as well. I for one had been sucked in by her (with hindsight you could see it was BS) so I do remember the unrest at that time.

Doesn't excuse what happened to Nobbly, of course. Clearly she had - and still has - bigger things to deal with. I like the idea of MNHQ offering to donate to a charity of Nobbly's choice, if she even responds to them.

I think a donation is a brilliant idea. It's so difficult to make the decision to delete a thread like this but think it does need highlighting that poor nobbly was genuine and let down by us Because of so many horrible people making things up for attention , may be that will show the trolls that what they do for 'fun' has now affected someone when they were at their most vulnerable

Thanks, Rowan.

This is going to sound really weird in such tragic circumstances, but this has kind of restored my faith in humanity somewhat.

Nobbly, if you ever read this, I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely little boy .

And yes, it's just awful that attention-seeking trolls cause things like this to happen. They have it on their conscience. Horrible, horrible people.

Jesus.

As a mother to a stillborn baby and a premature baby this has made my bloody run cold.

Thanks for the apology MNHQ but I am so angry at you guys for fucking this up. I think you owe the op more than a verbal apology.

Poor poor parents.

*blood run cold!!!

Oh no. Whilst I'm almost relieved to see nobbly vindicated, I'm so, so sad that this happened and feel very angry at all of the actual people out there trolling boards intended for information and support.

Although MN made an error in this case I can appreciate their reasoning for doing so and the fault really lies with the people who do post disingenuously and plant that seed of mistrust in other posters and admin alike.

I think a donation in memory of Ollie James, this case, would be very appropriate and I would hope that any contact Nobbly receives from MN does not serve to cause her further upset.

Both her and her partner came across so mature, dignified and postive in both her OP and on OBEM and my thoughts really are with them all.

allstopped good post.

Poor Nobbly :(