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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

The lady whose waters broke at 18 weeks ...

210 replies

Theyvallgone · 27/12/2014 20:22

She delivered her baby at 28 weeks-ish ... I can't find her thread to see how her and baby are doing :( I posted on it, but can't see it in 'im on' and when I do a search it looks like it might have been deleted?

Can't stop thinking about this lady bless her! Can anyone help?

OP posts:
lotsofcheese · 28/12/2014 11:52

And the OP kept the thread going for so long - must have been over 2 months?

As a mum of 2 prems, it is a journey I wish I'd never have to take. How someone can keep up that pretence for so long, defies belief really.

lavendersun · 28/12/2014 11:53

Dixie - I saw the baby pics and have my own from my own DC, tbh troll isn't something I think about so it didn't enter my head that this long drawn out story with relevant facts was anything other than someone having an awful time of it.

I do know of someone in real life who made up the most terrible things - unthinkable things that included stories about DCs.

Herroyal - I hope you are managing OK. You did a lovely thing and the parents of a little baby somewhere in a NICU will be thinking of your kindness.

usualsuspect333 · 28/12/2014 12:13

Maybe she had been through it at some point and was just replaying it in real time.

Or maybe she just made the whole thing up and was enjoying all the attention.

Don't think we will ever know.

divingoffthebalcony · 28/12/2014 12:13

Well if she was a troll, she must have lifted a lot of medical detail from elsewhere, because the level of detail she provided about her condition (several posts questioning whether an untreated UTI caused PROM) sounded more than plausible to me.

DixieNormas · 28/12/2014 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatKatyDidnt · 28/12/2014 15:24

Dixie, I thought the same thing about the pic.

I had a horrific pregnancy and prem birth and the thought that someone would make this stuff up and draw in those who have shared similar experiences is sickening.

Original poster
Theyvallgone · 28/12/2014 16:10

Wow, I'm shocked. I never considered that she was a troll - and I thought I had quite a good bullshit detector!

Thinking back on it now some of the medical details were a little iffy, and he certainly looked a decent size ... despite having lost his waters 10 weeks earlier :/

How awful. Cannot believe people actually gain pleasure from lying to people online??

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 28/12/2014 16:37

She had even pm'd me to see how I was getting on as she hadn't heard crom me in awhile. And there I was with prom and placental abruption resulting in an emcs at 23w +4d our dD being 1lb 3oz and us losing her 2 wks later.

What a despicable thing of her to do.

I'm glad I wrote on the back of the parcel if the hospital couldn't find that patient to give the blanket to another family.

Only1scoop · 28/12/2014 16:41

Frightening....

I lose my faith in human nature.

DixieNormas · 28/12/2014 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsmorton · 28/12/2014 16:48

royal Flowers so fucking sad for you. You're such a wonderful person.

HoHonutty · 28/12/2014 16:54

Sorry to hear about your DD Royal. Flowers

There's lots of reasons people troll but it's never harmless imo.

Allisgood1 · 28/12/2014 18:35

My career is in Behaviour analysis. I really want to know what motivates people to do these things, especially those who go through various extremes in their lies. Attention? Money? What was the point of the lady who faked a stillbirth and asked people to donate to SANDS? She wasn't benefiting, or was she??

blackwidow74 · 29/12/2014 00:23

I posted on that thread too in the run up to the birth ... then wondered why a baby who had such low fluid for 10 weeks was actually such a great size and colour ... The baby in the picture was definitely older than 28 weeks gestation and nearer term!

Number3cometome · 29/12/2014 10:10

Absolutely shocked and disgusted. I was following that post and hoping so much that baby was ok.

Why would you do that??

Starlightbright1 · 29/12/2014 14:20

I am on the one hand relieved on another annoyed. I followed the post and thought after the birth the lack of updates meant a sad conclusion.

The bit that angers me most though is that was a picture of someones baby who was poorly

Worksallhours · 31/12/2014 14:18

I feel sickened about this. I read that thread so many times as it was active while I was in hospital after a pprom at 20 weeks (I did not post about it).

I am also very hurt because the thread made me doubt whether whether my OH and I were not receiving the right kind of care or advice from the consultants, or that we were making the wrong decisions, or that we were not being demanding enough about what could be done.

It was also so confusing because we were being told that there was very little chance our baby could possibly survive after a pprom at 20 weeks, and this was backed up by stories on the inkan site and the latest medical research statistics. But here was this thread about a pprom at 18 weeks and the baby was seemingly surviving to the point of prem viability.

Why would anyone make something like that up? They cannot possibly have any idea what it is like to be in such a situation.

Looking back at what I remember from the thread, in hindsight, knowing what I now know from my own pprom experience, what the op said now seems a little peculiar. It all seemed a little too dramatic.

Only1scoop · 31/12/2014 14:25

Awful that is has affected and hurt so many people.

Beyond frightening to think that someone doing it could actually be a parent.

It makes me so suspicious and dubious about posting on such serious threads.

HerRoyalNotness · 31/12/2014 15:10

works I'm so sorry you've suffered the same as well.

Like you mine went about 20wks and I only lasted another 3 weeks. I was getting upset to think someone went 10wks with this wondering what I did wrong. But my consultant said at the appointment when I found out that it was t the end and some can go a long time with this problem. I guess for me I had the placenta problem as well and DD had to be born when she was as she was in distress.

Worksallhours · 31/12/2014 17:05

Oh, Royal, my heart goes out to you. I understand how you feel completely. If you want to talk about it at all, do PM me.

Like you, I read the thread and wondered why my experience seemed so different from the op's experience.

That thread made me wonder whether my attitude to what was happening was wrong and misguided. We were told, in pretty stark terms, that the prognosis in our case was very poor, and I have since learnt that this approach is in the official NHS guidelines for pprom at a pre-viability gestational age.

But the op on that thread seemed so upbeat in a way, and it confused me -- I was just living in a kind of blank state of shock in between trying (and failing) to do research on the topic (I since found out that I would have been more successful had I used different search terms). I also couldn't understand why she wasn't concerned about severe hypoplasia.

You know what the ultimate joke is though? I didn't post a thread about my pprom on mumsnet because I thought it might look as though I was a troll or trying to piggyback on her thread -- and I didn't want to upset anyone.

SoonToBeSix · 31/12/2014 17:24

Works am sorry you felt you couldn't get support on mumsnet. So sorry for your loss.
And Royal so sorry for your loss also. FlowersFlowers

DixieNormas · 31/12/2014 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lavendersun · 31/12/2014 20:33

So sorry that this thread is making people question their choices, that is absolutely horrid and if the troll happens to read this I hope that he/she is utterly ashamed.

I had pprom, incompetent cervix and a blood disorder at 19 weeks, hence the reason I tried to offer Nobbly some support on her thread.

Not in England though at the time, admitted into hospital on upside down bed rest for the first 20 days and then bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I made it to 29 weeks. Lots of drugs which made me so poorly I didn't make it to the NICU for three days during which point we were told that our baby might not make it. She did.

We were very very fortunate, my consultant used the word miracle, but the journey, six months away from home, the years it took my child to get over her early birth (still has a serious health issue) was no picnic (Nobbly).

Flowers to all.

lotsofcheese · 31/12/2014 20:47

Thanks to those who lost babies to pPROM, or are questioning themselves, their treatment or approach.

Original poster
Theyvallgone · 01/01/2015 10:46

I'm so sorry to all the ladies here who have been affected by this. I'm horrified at the wide reaching effect her thread had :(

I'm almost sorry I posted and asked where it had gone ... some of you might not have read this and felt what you're feeling now.

As many of you have said, I'm a HCP and was also confused as to how she had managed to go so long and why why why there was no mention of hypoplasia.
Will be more wary when reading threads in the future.

OP posts:
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