DBF banning thread, part 2.

[Rhinestone]

OCCUPY MUMSNET continues......

Justine, that was a little topical joke, please don't ban me!

DH wants to know what's so funny
I struggle to explain.

Will it eat dog food? Or tortoise stew? Or quiche?

Are they hibernating Saggy? I would worry I'd forget where I put them.

I SO need to go to bed...

I've never forgiven him for his part in Fluffy's demise Pacific

RIP Fluffy. You were the best small white rock on a piece of string ever!

Maryz, what you need to do is eat the manky special food that it is not allergic to yourself, and the whole family must join in. Say loudly, yum this is so lovely. Make a great play of hiding it from the cat in an exaggerated manner. The cat will then go to great lengths to steal this food.

Do you think it's gender confusion (caused by you) has contributed to its allergies?

If it's naked Jeremy, dress it in amusing costumes. That might be more fun. You could have taken it trick or treating.

Oh god I can't stop laughing.

Stop making me wheeze!

Are you kidding me Saggyoldclothcatpuss.

I bet you have one of those new fangled tortoises that remember to fucking well eat when they come out of hibernation and don't cost you a sodding fortune in reptile specialist bills.

Faberge paperweights cost less than that walking garden ornament.

Can we talk about Mitmoo here then [eager]?
Has DBF deflected the ban?

Sorry, lots of pent up tortoise angst. I'm already putting money aside for next spring.

I can't believe you can't be arsed to cook it fishfingers! Would it eat a filet o fish happy meal?

It could easily be a faberge paperweight... Glue gun, sequins, paint... job done.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes

Why is that your NN?

Just asking.

Maryz can't you buy frozen mice and chicks in bulk? I'm sure people who have owls / eagles/ pterodactyls must.

Is its name Greebo, Maryz?

Oh please take your cat to a McDonalds drive thru. That would be brilliant.

I have always felt bereft that we don't have any pets, but now I am positively glad: no vet bills, no weird food choices, no forgetting them in airing cupboards , no pet-related angst - marvellous!

Oh it's all going to turn into a FF/BF row now, weaned to early, food allergies.

My cat is a ratter, I'm wry proud of his ratting abilities. It's a good skill in a cat.

I think it needs to stop using its past as an excuse for its poor behaviour and man up.

Too not to

I have totally failed at training my cat not to eat people's feet. The realisation sunk in when I heard my 2yo saying "Stop it, TeCat! That's naughty!"

She was more effective than me.

Maryz.. I hope you're not joking because I just got choked up. I am tempted to send you copious amounts of cat treats.