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Penetration man
997

Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 20:44

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

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NickNacks · 21/08/2016 20:46

He had a strong regional accent and i genuinely couldn't understand most of what he said. I said pardon so many times that I'd end up nodding or smiling hoping it was the correct response.

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StillMedusa · 21/08/2016 20:48

He took off his underpants and FOLDED them neatly on a chair ...
I was hoping for unbridled passion and it was a bit of a moment killer Grin

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x2boys · 21/08/2016 20:50

green underpants, not boxers or shorts but thee type you buy for little boys.

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bigtapdancingpimp · 21/08/2016 21:05

I went out with a guy who did everything reeaalllllyyyyyyy slowly. Walked slow, talked slow, ate slow. He was funny about food, we went to a restaurant and he pushed the food round his plate; when I asked him if there was anything wrong with the steak he replied 'I dinnae really eat meat'. I suggested trying the veg to which he replied 'I dinnae really eat vegetables' Confused Confused Confused He was shit in bed too but ironically more of a hare than the tortoise Grin

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QueenoftheAndals · 21/08/2016 21:07

he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.

We need to know more about this OP. Was it a statement of intent, a statement of what he'd just done or just something he randomly said?

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LavenderRains · 21/08/2016 21:08

I dumped someone who wore jumpers that his mum knitted and had chapped lips.......I dated his brother thoWink

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KatieScarlettReregged2 · 21/08/2016 21:08

He got a tattoo.
On his forearm.
Of my name in swirly writing.
Actually not that shallow now I come to think about it.

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Christine88 · 21/08/2016 21:08

He wouldn't let me eat McDonald's because of the amount of paper they waste...or something I wasn't listening I just heard no McDonald's and I was done...

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reader77 · 21/08/2016 21:09

He had one long hair growing out of his shoulder.

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User543212345 · 21/08/2016 21:11

He licked his knife. In public. And held his spoon in a fist like a toddler does.

When we did break up he called me a few days later saying "I know I'm useless and a liar and have terrible manners, but are you sure you want to end this?" Funnily enough that didn't change my mind.

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MrsGsnow18 · 21/08/2016 21:11

Holy flip to the guy whispering penetration in your ear!! Hmm That would have really creeped me out! That or made me wet myself laughing!

I once dated a guy who stuffed tissues down his boxers!Confused I never found out why, it just grossed me out to find wads of tissue in there Shock

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NoCapes · 21/08/2016 21:12

I once dumped someone because he jizzed on my favourite shoes and I just couldn't look at them in the same way again

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x2boys · 21/08/2016 21:14

GrinReader could you not have plucked it?

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RatherSheepish · 21/08/2016 21:14

A guy who kept fiddling with his nipples during sex. Not that uncommon I guess. He used to also always go and do a large post-coital shit. I dropped him after he left one too many skid marks in my loo.

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QOD · 21/08/2016 21:16

Cos he was the same height as me

Not that shallow as I'm 5 foot tall lol

We looked like bloody children

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DoreenLethal · 21/08/2016 21:16

He turned up to a date in black loafers with a gold bar and tassles on them.

I walked away.

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SauvignonPlonker · 21/08/2016 21:17

Went on a date with a young Studmuffin from the gym - I was 31, he was 25.

He invited me to his flat for dinner & produced Uncle Ben's jar sauce & microwave rice. Then switched on Hollyoaks to watch, whilst we ate it from our laps on trays that his mummy had bought him.

And he couldn't come with a condom on.

Binned.

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Queenbean · 21/08/2016 21:17

He had terrible grammar. "I can't do this no more". Urgh.

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MistressMerryWeather · 21/08/2016 21:17

Cameron2012, my ex used to whisper the same thing.

He thought it was funny/sexy.

I wonder if it's the same guy?

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reader77 · 21/08/2016 21:18

x2boys I probably would do that now but I was 18 at the time and squeamish!

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Mooey89 · 21/08/2016 21:18

Updated his calendar for a date of our that said 'enjoy Mooey'. Then that night he ate a large dominoes, two sides, dessert AND Ben and Jerrys all to himself.
I got in my car, drove home, and blocked his number. I'm a cunt, but EUGH

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Cameron2012 · 21/08/2016 21:19

Queen of the andals
We never actually had sex or even came close, he whispered pennnnnaaaatrrrraaation and then stuck his tongue in my ear

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ProseccoBitch · 21/08/2016 21:19

OP that's amazing lol!

I had a shag buddy who didn't make ANY noise during sex. I then realised he was the same height as me (it took a while to notice as we'd been horizontal most of the time before then). That was it for me I'm afraid (I'm 5'3").

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CautionWankingMonkeys · 21/08/2016 21:19

Left his socks on and thanked me directly after sex.

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Mooey89 · 21/08/2016 21:21

Oh! Another one - turned up to a date with a pack of darts that he delighted in telling me were called 'golden penetrators' then when I held one told me 'you have a lovely grip'.

Another one I binned because he wore a pleather jacket.

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