What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

From the Cambridge Dictionary:

pervert
noun [ C ]US /ˈpɜr·vərt/

a person whose sexual* behavior is considered unnatural and morally wrong*

HTH

On mumsnet, I like to think I have a good eye for spotting one. It’s usually how the question is worded, the tone, maybe things in posting history.

I’ve been on mumsnet for 20 years ish with different accounts (I delete every so often) and most threads I’ve thought seem potentially not genuine, possibly ‘perv territory’ have been deleted. 😉 I can also spot other sorts of trolls successfully too, again the threads and lists I report are usually deleted.

I’ll keep reporting and urge caution if things don’t sit right with you. On this board, there has been some posters with unpleasant and unhealthy interests in things and it’s reasonable to assume that when deleted, they come back and try again.

posts not lists

Something I wanted to add, I find the posters here that don’t want to entertain the idea that any posts at all is pervy, very strange indeed.

thanks, but the dictionary definitions are of course usually vague/in themselves subjective/leave plenty of room for subjective definitions. So don't really help when folks toss the word around as if they are referring to something that everyone agrees on.

Well how would you define it then?

What is 'unnatural' and/or 'morally wrong' in your opinion?

I don't especially have one - I've never used the word pervert, at least I don't think so! - beyond paedophilia I suppose. Or sex with animals.

well that hardly answers the question does it? For someone with such strong views you seem to be curiously reluctant to clearly express them.

You've used the term again without defining it.

You do seem very active on here from what you say.

Am somewhat puzzled by what you might get out of it.

ta for reply.

I have no problems with saying what my definition is#, but didn't want to so early in the thread as it would be kind of pointless/inhibit input. And risk being one of those god awful thread starts that pose as a question but aren't at all.

fair to say though that's it's not a million miles from yours.

thanks again for honest reply

apologies - that last bit shouldn't have been in big bold - I used a hash sign to mark my PS as a "star" seemed to be interpreted as a format command (indent) but I see that the "hash" has also been taken as some sort of format command.
and I can't edit - apologies to all

I agree with the pp. Sometimes something doesn’t feel quite right and when it doesn’t I report them. Mumsnet takes a look and decides and they mostly get deleted so it seems they agree. Take it up with them if you want to discuss it further, I’ve found they’re very happy to explain their decisions via email.

In the context of this topic I think 'pervert' means a person who engages others in discussion with the ulterior motive of getting themselves off, ie, without anyone's consent.

The dictionary definition is out of date.

er that's another none answer to the fair question.
have never contacted the mods about anything - don't want to trouble them - I assume they are busy with important stuff and don't want to be bothered by me asking them questions about
> the meaning of life
> can they recommend a good washing machine
> what's this tickly cough I've had the last couple of days
> does this shirt suit me

LOL at the shouty bold! Just as well it wasn't in capitals!

I think there are also two ways to answer the question though - one is in relation to sexual practices between consenting adults, and the other is where someone exhibits specific fetishes, which we might/would deem distasteful and unnatural, e.g. the various poo/piss/plimsoll trolls we seem to see a lot of on the wider boards.

@FordAnglia

I can give specific examples of the things I would class as pervy, they are the things I’ve reported to mumsnet and they have been deleted.

As a woman, I have become good at spotting these types, it’s a necessary skill in real life that I can apply to online. It can be quite subtle little things or huge red flags. I’m sorry you don’t understand and feel it’s vague but that’s not my problem.

🙄 When I said to contact mumsnet, I obviously meant if you disagree with the removal of a post or for clarification of talk guideline, your examples are obviously silly and irrelevant to this discussion. Mumsnet welcome questions and discussion by email or site stuff if you’re having trouble understanding anything.

sorry, that isn't an answer either - and all very circular.
all I get out of that is that a pervert is what you say one is.
what it might be am none the wiser.
As my old fine school teachers would say, "define your terms"
but i fear they and I would get nowhere.

In the context of this topic I think 'pervert' means a person who engages others in discussion with the ulterior motive of getting themselves off, ie, without anyone's consent.*

I think that covers most of what I would class as pervs. I also think some of the oversharing on here, some of which seems far fetched or niche. Over keenness to overshare on mumsnet sets my perv radar off.

I don’t think anyone needs to justify their reasons for the gut feelings they get to any individual.

When it comes to MN, a pervert is anyone who likes sex.

When it comes to MN, a pervert is anyone who likes sex.

Award got the most pathetic comment. 🏅

Moving on, I agree with what most posters have said. You just get a feeling, I agree that as a woman, you develop a good radar for such things and don’t underestimate that gut feeling, it has served me well throughout life. Gut feeling and instinct can’t be easily explained but is useful and so often right.

Puerile. And risible.

Yes, I think pervert is used here to label people who are on the sex board for a wank, basically.

You, OP, seem you be asking what people class as morally wrong or unnatural in relation to sex?

It's a bit like the frequent posts asking 'what is vanilla' - different for everyone.

Certain non negotiables, I imagine many of which are classified as criminal acts.

Beyond that.....could it be perverted to ask for internet ladies to all agree on a list of sexual activities or interests that are beyond their person taste /decency threshold

..not sure

I understand where DixonD is coming from.

There are two presences on here for whom I have boundless disdain.

The first group, all of whom are men, are those who post threads and send PMs to get themselves off. They are pervs, on my definition.

The second group are all female. They would prefer that the topic was closed and, although they won't admit it, they would rather there was no or very limited discussion of sex at all. In that sense, they are modern-day Mary Whitehouses. But when discussion of sex is prevented, pervs run amok, for example, Whitehouse's friend and co-campaigner John Smyth. So this group are not pervs but they unwittingly provide cover for pervs.

"a pervert is what you say one is"

Well yes. That's right.

Because it's a matter of opinion.

I think people who get off on playing with shit and piss are perverted.

People who try to involve others in their fetish without those people's enthusiastic consent are perverted, in my opinion.

This includes what you see on Mumsnet often - people creating fake threads pretending to have a problem when what they actually want is to get off on reading other people's stories. It's very disturbing how often these involve children and trying to get parents to share details on for example bed wetting, underwear and so on.

Obviously sexual behaviours involving children or animals are perverted.

Incest - perverted.

A pervert is someone who engages in sexual activities that are morally and/or legally wrong or just plain revolting.

What revolting is, is a matter of opinion. That's where you'll not get a complete and final list agreed by the world.

What's morally wrong is also subjective to a degree but more connected to a society's ideas of what is and is not acceptable whereas 'revolting' is decided more on an individual level.

On here (leaving out the people who engage in illegal activities such as bestiality and paedophilia) it's people who post to add to their wank bank. They have a fetish and they use here to get off on tales of piss and poo and periods and plimsolls and smelly teens and oh so many more.

that's what happens - people join and post in here for tales of fetish disguised as a question and use it for their wank bank.

I can usually spot them. Or at least I think I can.