On holiday - I’m a good person and do not deserve this

[LittleLadyCece]

Currently away abroad on holiday with extended family - me, DH and 2 DDs, my parents, DB, DSIL and DN. My children 10 and 15 are being horrendous. Youngest currently refusing shower after being in the pool all day, eldest who we’ve paid for a friend to come too also kicking off as she wants to go to the games room with me before going for tea……I’m half showered and clearly not able to do anything! DH pissed off with everything and just left to go read by the pool.

Im a good mum and person and feel like I don’t deserve all the crap I’m currently getting. I don’t know why I’m even writing I don’t know what I expect people to say other than a hand hold.

my DDs just seem to be such hard work and really mean to me. They have all the love and attention I can give them I don’t know what more I can do.

sorry I’m just at the end of my teather and feeling sorry for myself I suppose 😫

Tell your husband to haul arse back to deal with this too instead of dumping it all on you.

Your 15 year old has a friend with her and she’s having a tantrum wanting mummy to come to the games room with her?

We once took ds's mate abroad with us .. They were so horrendous we sent them home after week 1..
Leave the 15 yo to her own devices. Send 10 to with dh and get thyself showered and to the bar.

He’s got the right idea

10 year old can rinse later. 15 year old can continue embarrassing herself in front of her poor friend (who probably wants to be home right now)

It can only be what…. 5pm / 6pm where you are Op?

Yes @Returnofjude thats what I thought as well. The friend is getting ready and as per the plan meeting up for the games room before tea but DD decides I have to go with her now…..honestly i just wonder where I went wrong.

sorry seriously need to sort myself out and stop blaming myself!!

To be honest the examples you've given aren't too bad.. tell your youngest daughter to get her ass into the shower and surely the older doesn't need you to go to the games room with her?

Yeah coming up to 6pm here…thought that about her poor mate. She must be wondering what on earth!

So where is the friend? Why is DD ready and her friend isn’t? Are you all sharing a room?

If 10 year old doesn’t want to shower - leave her to it. After a few days she’ll soon realise.

Basically you need to let go and go and sit with DH while DD15 and friend takes your DD10 to the games room.

I really feel for her

I would take her aside and apologise on behalf of your daughter and ask how she’s doing

So what the urgency of your 10 year old wants to kick back for a bit post a day at the pool and then 30 second rinse

it’s hardly late

I wouldn't bother making them shower. It's not worth the hassle on holiday. Let them smell. It won't do any harm. On holiday I have the attitude "do what you want" (within reason!). We're currently away on a trip of lifetime. It's cost around £10k and my teen DC has moaned most of the time. Given them options for activities/meals etc and they've just shrug their shoulders and said "'I dunno'
I DESPAIR

That’s what I’m confused about

is it over 16s?

Disengage.

Tell your DD you're not going to the games room and say no more about it.

I personally wouldn't insist a 10yo had a shower on holiday if they didn't want one. Why create a drama?

Has DD fallen out with her friend? How come your DH can just walk away from it?

How come your DH can just walk away from it?

Exactly this. I'd go and sit next to him.

He did the correct thing
The OP should follow suit

me too!

The 10YO isn’t going to smell if they’ve been in the pool all day which is basically a giant bath of diluted bleach. The worst that’ll happen from skipping a shower is they get itchy and possibly matted hair if it’s long. Leave them to it.

Tell the 15YO no you’re not going to the games room and disengage. They can go on their own or with their mate.

DH actually has the right idea I think!

Youngest currently refusing shower after being in the pool all day, eldest who we’ve paid for a friend to come too also kicking off as she wants to go to the games room with me before going for tea……I’m half showered and clearly not able to do anything

What do you mean you're half showered? Have you stopped your shower half way through to come out, dripping wet to speak to your fifteen year old who wants you to come to a games room with her? Why? Does she have additional needs?

The ten year old will be fine without a shower if they've been swimming all day.

I think you need to get some perspective (and not get out of the shower when you've not finished?!)

Why does the youngest need a shower right now of they’ve been in the pool?

I’d do this. Just walk away and leave them to it.

I wouldnt entertain either of them. Tell her Ok don’t shower , you can go out covered in toddler piss and other peoples sun cream rinsed from their arsecrack. As for the older one , just tell her to fuck off, actually roar it at her then fuck off to the pool to also read/ drink cocktails. You and DH can bond over how horrible they are and when they appear , or not , you can present a united front.

Is there more to this OP? Why does a 15 year old, with a friend with her too, want her mother to come to the games room with her at this exact moment? What’s the friend doing?

Just say no I’m busy. I’ll come later (or never!)

My kids have eczema so need to shower, but even then I’d pick my battles to be honest if it’s causing stress

Tell the 15 year old to behave herself, act her age and go to the games room with her mate - that's what you brought her for.
Tell the 10 year old to have a quick shower and stop moaning - her hair will feel grim if she doesn't.
Tell them both you are on holiday too and they need to stop moaning.
Tell DH he goes back to the room with them tomorrow evening to get sorted while you stay by the pool.
Put some clothes on and go to the bar for a pre dinner drink.

I don’t really understand the need to declare yourself a ‘good person’ ?

Yes that was a peculiar detail