Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

"If you're a sahp it's not a job"

179 replies

Lunalula · 28/11/2018 09:28

That phrase. It gets on my nerves so much!
I'm a sahp, I see it as not a career, but yes an unpaid job because simply, someone has to do it.
If you were working to earn a wage you send your dc to nursery, school, ect. So in theory you are paying someone to look after your dc, to care for them, change nappies, feed and/ or prepare bottles/food, teach them the basics and more.
My problem is these people who say a sahp has it easy because it not a job.
I beg to differ. You don't get paid. You can't relax properly. Your children always 'need' you. Nappies changes. Bottle making. Meal prep and cooking/ feeding. Learning games. Being careful of bumps, trips and falls. The list is endless really.
Yes there is plusses which sometimes you can't do in paid work. Toilet breaks as you please. Drink breaks a you please. You can kind of do what you want if DC nap during day. You can have the TV on all day whilst entertaining DC.
So basically, yes, sahp is a job!!!

OP posts:
KingLooieCatz · 28/11/2018 09:34

Well it's not a job in that you're not being paid to do it, but it is a full time occupation and depending on the age and personality of the child, is likely to be just as hard work as many jobs, more stressful than many paid jobs.

I think the tension between SAHPs and working parents comes when there are no pre-school children. The challenge is getting back in the paid employment market once you've been out of it for a number of years.

SoyDora · 28/11/2018 09:35

I’m a SAHM to pre school children. I wouldn’t say it’s a job, as I don’t get paid. It’s sometimes hard work though.

spanishwife · 28/11/2018 09:38

It's not a job though is it? You shouldn't be offended that 'it's not a job', you must know that it isn't. It doesn't mean it's not easy or any harder/easier than being employed.

You are doing something you feel is important and worthwhile for your own life and circumstances and that shouldn't be belittled or judged against anyone else for making that decision.

How about we all just cut each other a bit of slack on get in with life in the way that we choose and see fit?!

SoyDora · 28/11/2018 09:42

How about we all just cut each other a bit of slack on get in with life in the way that we choose and see fit?!

^ exactly

2littleguineas · 28/11/2018 09:44

I've been a sahp when my children were younger, for a decade actually and wouldn't class it as a job. It's what I was able to choose to do.

gamerwidow · 28/11/2018 09:45

It isn’t a job though. That doesn’t mean that it’s not hard or that it’s not worthwhile but it isn’t a job.

TroysMammy · 28/11/2018 09:51

When I was an obnoxious teenager I told my DM that women who stayed at home were basically unemployed. She went mad at me and listed all the around the house jobs there were. However being employed is working for a wage which a sahp doesn't get for the work they do.

ICJump · 28/11/2018 09:52

But it’s not a job. I’ve been a SAHP and a WOHP. Being a SAHP wasn’t a job it’s hard work but so is being a WOHP

Woooman · 28/11/2018 09:53

I'm a SAHP and I don't see what I do as a job. I work hard everyday being a parent and making sure the house/our lives are in order and run smoothly but I wouldn't class it as a job. Also, we wouldn't say that a working parent has two jobs because they work and then they parent as well. Parenting is a responsibility, is often hard work but it is not a job.

PetiteMamaNoel · 28/11/2018 09:54

It is work, you're just not getting paid for it. Same as a student- it's work, you just don't get paid for it.

Thirtyrock39 · 28/11/2018 10:00

It's not a job doesn't mean it's not hard work . It's also not essential to be a sahp and a working parent will still do the majority of what a sahp does as well as going to a paid job . Eg I do all the housework all the cooking all the childcare other than when they're at school all the 'admin' as well as a part time job.

RustyBear · 28/11/2018 10:01

It depends on your definition of the word ‘job’ - it doesn’t necessarily refer solely to paid employment
From dictionary.com
Job
noun

  1. a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price:
She gave him the job of mowing the lawn.
  1. a post of employment; full-time or part-time position:
She was seeking a job as an editor.
  1. anything a person is expected or obliged to do; duty; responsibility:
It is your job to be on time.
ShatnersBassoon · 28/11/2018 10:04

It's not a job, it's a situation. I've been one for years.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 28/11/2018 10:10

Unemployed means you are seeking work. A sahp is not unemployed.
I think it isn't a 'job' in the traditional sense, since there us no wage or time off if sick. But is is work - unrelenting and often thankless.
Personally, I don't see why anyone cares what someone else chooses to do - we are all doing the thing that works best for us and out families. Other people's choices don't affect us and are none of our business.

I am now a sahp to school age dc - this time is my reward for the preschool years Smile

LilLido · 28/11/2018 10:40

It's not a job. It's your Children. You are their mother. It's very hard work but not a job. The same as 'full time yummy mummy' or 'Gucci's Mummy' are not employment status'.

Innocentconglomeration · 28/11/2018 10:45

It isn't a job, but that doesn't mean it isn't work, and hard work at that.

Weezol · 28/11/2018 10:48

It's work. If someone else can be paid to do it, it's work.

'Job' is a very loaded word these days because of Jobcentres, JSA etc. I prefer the old title of 'Employment Exchange'.

lovetherisingsun · 28/11/2018 10:48

I'm not paid to be here. But fuck it can be hard. Up from 5 sometimes, then a further 14+ hours of childcare, nonstop, no break. There's another mum at school who, upon finding out I wasn;t in current paid employment, now won't even give me the time of day, lol. I don't care. I wouldn;t have this life any other way, as hard as it can be.

ApolloandDaphne · 28/11/2018 10:50

It isn't a job in terms of paid employment but it is certainly hard work!

MaidenMotherCrone · 28/11/2018 11:09

It is very hard work at times. I was a SAHP for years. I chose to be at home. It was very important to me. I was an unpaid housekeeper and nanny basically.

Was it a job though? No. I didn’t need to apply for the position. No qualifications necessary. I wasn’t answerable to anyone. No financial reward. It was a lifestyle choice.
The best choice for my children and given my time over I’d do it all again. They were the best years of my life. I now have a job. I know which I’d rather be doing but unfortunately my children have grown up and I need to pay bills, eat etc.

empmalswa · 28/11/2018 11:17

It's not a job though?

I'm not taking away the fact it is hard going, but you know what, it's called being a parent and maintaining a home and those who are working parents have to do those things too.

empmalswa · 28/11/2018 11:19

It is work, you're just not getting paid for it. Same as a student- it's work, you just don't get paid for it.

Interesting you have used students to back up your point. I have never heard a student liken their study to a job. Probably because it's not remotely the same.

Howhot · 28/11/2018 11:20

It's not a job OP. Bloody hard work, but it's not a job. It's being a parent.

CoughCoughSneeze · 28/11/2018 11:30

It’s not a job.

It’s hard work, but a lot of people do the hard work of parenting in addition to having a job.

dinosaurglitterrepublic · 28/11/2018 11:31

It’s not a job. It’s not like being a student.

It’s certainly not comparable to working in a nursery or a school either! At best you can compare it to being a nanny for a family, except as a nanny you are a rule taker and not a rule maker so it is different. I could like doing art at home, but it doesn’t make it a job just because people are artists who get paid for such things.

That’s not to say it isn’t challenging and difficult at times. People with jobs are still parents when they aren’t at work, I don’t think they would consider it another job, just parenting. Although some days, a day at work is easier than a day at home!

Swipe left for the next trending thread