"If you're a sahp it's not a job"

[Lunalula]

That phrase. It gets on my nerves so much!
I'm a sahp, I see it as not a career, but yes an unpaid job because simply, someone has to do it.
If you were working to earn a wage you send your dc to nursery, school, ect. So in theory you are paying someone to look after your dc, to care for them, change nappies, feed and/ or prepare bottles/food, teach them the basics and more.
My problem is these people who say a sahp has it easy because it not a job.
I beg to differ. You don't get paid. You can't relax properly. Your children always 'need' you. Nappies changes. Bottle making. Meal prep and cooking/ feeding. Learning games. Being careful of bumps, trips and falls. The list is endless really.
Yes there is plusses which sometimes you can't do in paid work. Toilet breaks as you please. Drink breaks a you please. You can kind of do what you want if DC nap during day. You can have the TV on all day whilst entertaining DC.
So basically, yes, sahp is a job!!!

The majority of women returning to the workplace after extended time off do just that. Draw on their life skills.

Every single thread on here where a sahm asks what to put on her cv.

I saw it as my job, although I wouldn't expect anybody else to as they are my kids.
I made sure I researched all I could about early years education and caring for kids.
It was my job to teach them and prepare for school.
To me it was a job because i took it seriously, housework was a separate entity to raising kids.

Not a job. I have a job and I'm a parent. The days I have my kids are my days OFF. Mostly because I don't have anywhere I have to be, I don't have to commute on a motorway, I don't have to have meetings and write reports. Tasking myself to take my pre schooler to softplay and give her lunch does not amount to the same thing. Kids are a challenge for sure, but working parents have it harder - surely this is an objective fact? Especially working mums who usually carry the emotional load of running the house on top of work commitments.

HoppingPavlova the WOHP who do all that you describe can only be the ones who have a job in school hours/term time.

I think people do what they see fit for their lives. I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve here unless it's to suggest that WOHP are superior to SAHP. You're not, are you?

It's not a job. As well as being a sahp, I'm also a student and I do a load of voluntary work including a shift in a charity shop and none of that classes as a job either as far as I'm concerned.

Looks like @juneybean needs another saucer of milk

My 17 yr old thinks its my job, he told me its my job to clean up after him yesterday. He is autistic so i forgave him.

People who work still come home to all the work that a SAHP would have. Washing, cleaning, cooking, etc.

Nah, because you and your kids haven't been in and out the house all day making mess. Not comparable.

God, these threads are so boring, like a broken bloody record. There's one every few weeks and the argument on both sides is always the same

I don't understand these threads.
Surely there are different definitions of 'job' so it just depends on which one you're using. And surely everyone agrees that sometimes it's harder than a paid job, sometimes less hard, depending on how difficult and how old the kids are and how difficult the paid job is.
Surely it varies and depends on how you define job so it's never going to be possible to come up with a conclusive answer?

I don't think a sahp is doing a job, but then I don't think something has to be a job to be a demanding and valuable thing.

Kids are a challenge for sure, but working parents have it harder - surely this is an objective fact?

Not sure about this as a blanket rule. When my kids were young I had an extremely demanding job but to be honest I was generally glad to go to it to get relief from dirty nappies, feeding little people that couldn’t feed themselves, playing with Little People sets and pretending I was having fun, watching Finding Nemo for the 500003 time.

After our second DH stayed at home, I would only work shifts on weekdays (long hours and often double shifts) and DH worked 2 days a week on weekends so while we were rarely in the house at the same time childcare was covered. By god once the weekend rocked around he was keen as to get out that front door to go to his job. I swear there was rubber in the air as he sped out of the driveway and away from our house to get his 2 days ‘respite’ at work . To his credit he lasted 18 months before he couldn’t do it anymore and returned to work 5 days. He still had the kids 2 days a week though as 2 of his 5 days were the weekend as I was then home with the kids.

So I don’t think working in paid employment is necessarily harder. But I do think if you class stay at home as a job then you do need to acknowledge some people work 2 jobs and some people work 1.

It can be harder than some jobs.
I found it so much easier being in my office job than being on mat leave. Could not wait to go back to work.

Its not a job. It's work without a doubt and hard work too but it isn't a job. Is it a job for parents for WOHP too?

My 17 yr old thinks its my job, he told me its my job to clean up after him yesterday. He is autistic so i forgave him.

Same here at that age. I solved it by going on strike. I did wonder who would crack first, teen due to their issues or me having to deal with their issues. At one point I thought we may both have breakdowns . I did come out victorious though and things changed enough to make my life bearable. Several years on, not sure we have made much progress though tbh .....

It's not a job though, you don't get paid for it. I do agree it's definitely the same workload (even more sometimes) than a traditional job. But it's not a career.

It's the equivalent of a job because if you were at work you’d have to pay someone to do it!

It's not a job, and I say that as a SAHM.

There is no doubt it's hard work being a SAHP parent, and probably a lot harder than lots of jobs. But I think a lot of SAHP parents under estimate what it's like to be a parent and work. Getting everyone out of the house by 7am for breakfast club / nursery (with a packed lunch still has to be made!). Usually up v early hanging out washing before we leave. Rushing around at work with no real lunch break so can leave as early as possible to get back for nursery / after school club pick-ip. Homework, music practice, clubs / sports training, wash pe kit, cook dinner, quick tidy, washing on. And then start again the next day. There is often no room for error!

@porger80
Kids are a challenge for sure, but working parents have it harder - surely this is an objective fact?
Nope, I don't think because you anecdotally find spending time looking after your DC easier than being at work means that working parents objectively have it harder. There is so much wrong with this statement, but let me start with:

1. Every parent has different skills, tolerances and preferences and whilst some might find being a SAHP a doddle, others wouldn't be able to cope at all and are much more suited to WOH. My DH is the WOHP in a senior management position and openly admits that he would find being a SAHD more difficult as he just isn't suited to the role.
2. Every child is different and whilst some can be relatively easy to look after, others can be very difficult indeed. Your experience of your time off with your DD could be very different if your child had a more challenging temperament. Throw into the mix multiple children, different ages etc and it's easy to see how it's impossible to define a "typical" day in the life of a SAHP.
3. Jobs are different and some people have relatively easy and enjoyable jobs whilst others have more stressful and difficult roles. You therefore also can't define a generic "typical" working day for a WOHP.

For all the reasons above, nobody is truly able to make an objective comparison between WOHPs and SAHPs (of children who aren't yet in school). The fact you seem so adamant that you're right makes me think you're either deliberately trying to wind people up or you haven't really given this much thought at all.

Its not a job. It's work without a doubt and hard work too but it isn't a job. Is it a job for parents for WOHP too?

Not if they’re paying someone else to do it.

Parenting is a 24/7 mental load but the actual day to day physical stuff is not being done by a wohp in that case.

I've been a SAHM, part time worker and FTE. The SAHM time was definitely hard work, but definitely not a job. It also gave me plenty of time to sit on my fat arse dicking around on the internet/TV, drinking tea and napping. I've yet to find a job that allows me to do this.
Also the thing that really does my head in is the endless list of "jobs" a SAHP reels off to justify their day. Yes love I'm done 90% of those and gone out to work too.

I was a SAHM for many years and now I’m a WAHM but I am looking to be a WOHM because I think it will be easier.

Also the thing that really does my head in is the endless list of "jobs" a SAHP reels off to justify their day. Really does my head in that anyone feels having to justify your day is necessary.

You can say 'I go out to work' and not have to justify that whatever the work is - selling arms to countries with dubious human rights, ringing people up and telling them they've had an accident in the last 12 months etc

I don’t like calling it a job or work...because i chose to have her! But it’s bloody hard work staying at home all day with a baby! I never ever get 5 minutes to myself. Can’t remember the last time i peed alone FGS